Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up....

So, I was inspired by loyal reader, Heather W., and her blog to write about my favorite "falling" stories. Is it just me or is the act of falling not the funniest thing ever to be seen?? I love when people fall and can't help but laugh out loud when this happens. I also love to hear others stories about them falling because the mental image is just too much! I think it's always embarrassing to fall. There are a lot of things that might embarass one person and not another but, no matter who you are, falling is always humiliating. So, enjoy at my expense. Believe me, if you ever fall in my presense I will be laughing at your expense so I think it's only fair.

1. I was a freshman at ACU and was running around the school with my friend Lauren one night. There was an intramural football game going on and we were running up Campus Court right by the fields. We were both turning our necks to the left, watching the game and seeing who we knew while we were talking. All of a sudden, I trip over Lauren's feet, start to fall but then move my feet real quick to try and regain my composure while my torso is practically parallel to the ground and right when I think I have it all together I fall flat on my stomach. Of course, Lauren having a twisted sense of humor like myself, stood there laughing uncontrollably. I got up, laughing, pulled the dirt and rocks out of the wounds that were in my hands and knees and prayed no one at the football game saw me or, if they did, not recognize who I was. The next day in a class, this guy goes "Hey, didn't I see you fall last night?"

2. Fast forward 5 years. I was living in Ft Worth Texas in a second floor apartment. I was leaving for work one morning wearing black shoes and black pants. I get to about the third step from the bottom and the next thing I know I am falling down the stairs and land, once again, flat on my stomach. My bag and purse hit the ground and everything in them goes flying. I look up, praying no one just saw that and this guy walks by, gives me this look like he thinks I'm pretty much the most pathetic person he has ever seen and KEEPS WALKING!! No "Are you ok?" or "Let me help you up." or even better " Can I help you find your dignity anywhere?" NOTHING! My pants had a hole ripped in the knee and my black shoes were scuffed on the toes.

3. Fast forward 1 year. I was in Abilene visiting my parents and spending time with my best friend Amanda M. Amanda had just bought a new silver Honda Metropolitan (a scooter) with a huge silver helmet to match. I asked her if I could take it for a ride and she, of course, said yes. She showed me how to accelerate and brake and said it was really easy and I won't have any problems. So, I get to the end of the street and I am doing ok. I have to turn either left or right and I figure a right hand turn is probably my best bet. I decided I would turn REALLY wide so I wouldn't have to lean really far over. I get kind of nervous because, in order to turn, the bike has to lean. Ok, I guess I got more then "kind of nervous" at the lean because I held the handlebars so tight I accelerated on the turn, hit some gravel and flew over the scooter's handlebars. Again, on my stomach, I look around the make sure no one saw this. I had no idea how to start the scooter back up because when it fell it turned off. I was luckily wearing jeans and a t-shirt so my legs weren't that bad off but I had serious road rash all up and down both arms, rocks stuck in my hands, and my hip bones were bruised so badly I couldn't even touch them for weeks. I had to do the "walk of shame" back to Amanda's house, walking next to the bike wearing that huge silver helmet. Oh, and the scooter suffered some road rash of it's own. Amanda was a good sport about it though!

4. Fast forward 4 years. Ben and I had just gotten married and we were living in Dallas. One night, we went to a movie theater in the mall next to our apartment. As we were walking from the parking lot to the theater, I look over at the "Coming Attractions" they post to show what movies will be coming in the recent weeks/months. I say to Ben "Oh look, that Ashton Kutcher movie is com...." Before I can even finish my sentence, my foot has hit the curb. I stumble around trying to get straight again and, in trying to NOT land on my stomach AGAIN, I somehow flip onto my back. Ben goes "Oh my gosh, your just turtled!!"" I start laughing really hard and these two punk kids who were sitting on the curb a few feet away start laughing and one said through his laughter "Hey lady, are you ok???!!!" I don't know what upset me more, the fact that he was laughing at me or the fact that he called me "lady." As if it could get more embarrassing as we were waiting in line for our tickets, Ben looks over at me and says "ummm, you can totally see through your shirt." This movie was a last minute thing and we were just hanging around the house so I wasn't wearing a bra. I didn't think I should have to put one on since we were just going to a dark movie theater and it was late at night so it was dark outside also. I rememeber looking in the mirror before we left and I couldn't see anything through my white tank top...

Ok, that's all I can think of right now. Do any of you have some embarrassing "falling" stories? We would all love to hear about them so please share and post them in the comment section. It feels weird not posting any pictures. What the hell, here's one for good measure.

The Meat Market is back and Here to Stay...

I know all my loyal readers have been lost without a recent update of Macon Fun of the Grants. I have been absolutely OBSESSED with the Olympics and can hardly think about anything else. Loyal reader Sam has asked I update so she doesn't have to keep looking at this beautiful picture of Michael Phelps but I love it and had to post it again. As Heather W. says "Watch out swimmers, my schlong is long and my arms are strong!" I miss Ian Thorpe and wish he was still racing. He too is a beautiful speciman as you can see below.

Hello Handsome...

Come to mama...


By the way, Ben said he wants this blog's name changed so no one thinks he is associated with it. He said he doesn't want to be a part of my "meat market" anymore. I don't know what he is talking about...

Ben is back in Georgia from his summer long clerkship in Abilene. I am very glad to have him back home and things finally feel like they are back to normal. We have our new baby, Penelope, and she is really cute but a complete turd. She wakes us up every morning trying to nurse on our noses and mouths. She has tried to nurse on Fitz (yeah, he's a boy) which makes him angry. And no, she was not weaned too early from her mother. She is over 2 months old, she is just spoiled.



A trip to the vet wore her out.

Eleanor's a little jealous.


My birthday was on August 2nd and I had a good time celebrating with my family.

Anna and Mason help me with my birthday cake.

Taylor trying, and failing, at the hoola hoop

Finally, our whole family was together

Penelope sleeping in the car. We drove (fine, Ben drove, I slept) 16 hours to Georgia from Abilene in one day. Penelope did awesome!

Another nasty rash while driving from Texas to Georgia.


One story I will tell before I close. I was sitting in my living room singing Violet Hill by Coldplay and wrapping my mom's birthday gift. I stop and a second later I hear Ben, who's in the office, go "Aauugghh" like he just saw something that disgusted him. I said "What's wrong?" and he answered "Your singing." Later that day Ben says to me "You're being rude." and I answered "I'm rude?! You're the one who goes aauugghh when I was singing!!" Ben says "Well, it was disgusting!" Oh. well then. I guess it's ok since my innocent,angelesque singing made you want to throw up!

A side note. Ben and I like to give each other a hard time and I was not offended by him saying that, in fact, I thought it was hilarious. We always tell each other "like it is" and never a hard feeling.

Alright, that's all I have for now. I have to mentally and emotionally prepare for the Olympics. You know, I would never watch, say, women's water polo on a regular day but for some reason, when it's in the context of the Olympics I find it to be the most fascinating sport and I talk about it like I'm an expert from all my years as a player! Water polo, volleyball, synchronized diving you name it I love it during the Olympics but wouldn't give it a second thought any other time of year. Swimming and gymnastics I love no matter what time of year. Enjoy my man candy and until next time...