Macon Fun of the Grants

T Minus 1 Day!

2010-02-22T22:51:00.013-05:00

Getting ready for Allie! Look at all the clothes. And those are just the hand me downs. This girl has so many clothes there is no way she will wear them all before growing out of them. I need another girl after her!! Loves it.

Eleanor thought all the new soft blankets were for her

My sister Heather, sister in law Susan, and friend/Ben's Second Cousin's wife Teri Aldreidge threw me a wonderful shower. So many people came to support and celebrate with me and I am so thankful for the shower, the presents, and all the ladies who came. Ben and I are truly blessed.

Ben and I after my shower. What a hot daddy!

The loot. That awesome bag in the front of the picture is my Lily and Serena diaper bag my wonderful sister bought me. I freakin love that bag!

The table at the shower. Cheri did the flowers and I thought the entire table was so pretty. Thanks ladies!

Classic Eleanor. I had to add the picture. It was taken the day of the shower so it kind of fits in.

Allie will be here Wednesday February 24! Two weeks ago when I went to the doctor I was 75% effaced and 1 1/2 Centimeters dilated. He asked us we wanted to induce which was something we never thought about doing. At first, we both were really unsure. We were kind of excited about experiencing the whole labor thing naturally (until it was epidural time of course) but as we thought about it over the week we decided it actually sounded like a good idea. When we went back last week, our doctor was surprised how low her head was and let me tell you, every movement I make I can vouch for just how low she is. I feel like I rode a bike with a tiny little seat for 4 hours. I am so sore every movement I make hurts. You don't realize what muscles are being used for the smallest task until you have a baby's head sitting on them. We are very excited about Allie's arrival this Wednesday. We are so thankful to God for such an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby up to this point. I know I am blessed and a lot of women don't have such a wonderful pregnancy. People say to me all the time "I bet you can't wait to have that baby" but I just can't agree with that statement. Yes, I am uncomfortable now but it's tolerable. I will miss having her inside me. Being together 24/7 and feeling/watching her move. It's an experience I will never have with her again once she is born so...yes, I am happy to be having this baby because I can't wait to meet her and I want Ben to start enjoying the bonding I have been having with her for 9 months but I will also miss being pregnant.

33 Weeks

38 Weeks (Final Week)

Allie's Room

We had an artist come out and paint the trees and birds on the walls. She did an amazing job and we are very happy with the way it turned out. I have to say I love all the pink!

Ok, that's all I can do for now. I was in the ER with a client until 2:00 a.m. last night and I need sleep. We will keep you posted with pics when she is born. Pray for us. Here goes nothing...!!!

Watch out...

2010-02-03T22:54:00.004-05:00

Fat ass coming through...
33 weeks

35 weeks

35 weeks

Just a reminder where I started

Really, I have loved being pregnant. It has been a great experience for me. Ben and I are both thrilled to have this baby and can't wait to see her!

"Wipe it on the bed and go back to sleep"

2010-02-01T22:57:00.006-05:00

I don't sleep very good anymore. My back kills me and I really only have 1 confortable sleeping position which is on my left side. But then my left leg goes numb and gets cramped so I tried to put a pillow between my legs which helps some. I guess I have been moaning and groaning so much in the middle of the night that when I really need help, Ben doesn't take it serious. Two nights ago I woke up to something wet on my butt. I was really out of it and drifted back to sleep only to wake again to that same wet feeling on my butt and, now, leg. I reached behind me to feel it and touched something small, hard, wet, and round on the sheet. I proceeded to feel around more and felt several small, hard, wet, and round objects all around my butt and legs.
Holly: "EEEWWW!" Ben, there's something wet on me and the sheet!"
Ben (dazed): "What did you say?"
Holly: "EEEWWW. There's something wet on me. It's on the sheet too."
Ben: "Wipe it on the bed and go back to sleep"
Holly: "What?? Wipe it on the bed? It's on the bed. And now it's on me. Turn on your lamp!"
**Ben turns on the lamp**
Holly: "What the...?? It's dog food!"

Turns out, Eleanor threw up in the middle of the night (she sleeps in bed with us). We both get up and see all these undigested pieces of dog food that are covered in some kind of spit-up. I go to the bathroom and wipe my leg and butt off and get new sheets. We put on the fitted sheet and I start to put on the top sheet. Ben doesn't think we need to change the top sheet until I point out the huge blob of actual throw up that somehow ended on that sheet. I rolled around in throw up people. GROSS!

Ben and I got a new camera. It's awesome and takes great pictures. I was going to post pics of the nursery but Ben needs to take better pictures. Too much exposure. Stay posted. We had an artist come out and paint trees and birds on the wall and the pink walls are so cute. I bought these shoes for Allie. I have never seen anything so cute! Ben took the picture while playing with our new camera.

Stay tuned for baby shower pics, preggo pics, and nursery pics.

Pregnancy Brain

2010-01-19T23:25:00.002-05:00

Definition of pregnancy brain: Sending shower invites to all my old friends in their maiden names. Some have been married for a decade. I feel like a complete idiot.

Better Late Than Never

2010-01-08T23:15:00.006-05:00

Random Thought: Is it just me getting older and more prudish or is just about every show on television either boring or just really trashy?

Anyway, here are some pictures from Christmas and also some preggo pics.

White Christmas!

Fitzgerald thought he should try out the changing pad for Allie (oh, did I mention we are naming our baby Allie? It was my grandmother's name!)

My nephew Will decided that since Fitz was trying out the changing table, he would give the crib a try. He gave it an A+.

26 Weeks

30 Weeks with a shirt

30 Weeks without

The nursery is not completely finished so I will post pics when it is. I am waiting for my glider to be upholstered and need some stuff for the walls. I have a little less than 2 months to get it all done (hopefully).

New Year's Eve

2010-01-06T23:13:00.004-05:00

Eating dinner at my sister's house - zero dollars

Coming back home and watching television with my awesome husband - zero dollars

Falling asleep at 11:55 p.m. New's Years Eve - Priceless

I hope some of you had a more spirited New Years than the Grants... I kind of think it's overrated but that's just me.

So....

2009-12-27T21:29:00.002-05:00

Tell me your thoughts on pregnancy pictures. You know, the pictures people take when they are pregnant.
Oh, and I know I need to update the pic. I will soon. I just need to download it off my sucky camera.

Coughing out the Baby Worm...

2009-12-02T18:54:00.003-05:00

I have no voice and am about to cough up a lung. I actually feel guilty for all my coughing because of all the shaking the baby is having to endure. I don't think you realize how much stomach muscles you use until you have a little human living in there. Is is possible to cough so hard the baby falls out??

I had a dream last night that I had the baby yet she was so early she looked like a worm. Then, she morphed into a little baby and started talking in full sentences. The weird thing is that, in the dream, I was more weirded out about the fact that my newborn was speaking in full sentences then I was about the fact that I gave birth to a worm...

2009-11-08T17:10:00.012-05:00

I know. I KNOW. I don't want to hear it. I haven't blogged since August and my facbooking skills are still to be desired. Life is different in Texas than it was in Georgia. My time goes somewhere and blogging just isn't making my "to do list." I want to get back into it so hopefully you will all stick with me. Ok, so people have been asking for preggo pics so let's start there:
6 Weeks

11 Weeks

13 Weeks

16 Weeks

19 Weeks

21 Weeks

And... It's a GIRL!!!

I haven't posted the most recent pictures on Facebook. I feel weird posting pictures of my bare stomach where all my old random high school friends can see them. Is that weird?

Well, my boobs are offically a 36DD. My mom bought me a bra from the Dolly Parton collection when I was barely pregnant and I laughed when I saw it. I mean, boobage is not really where my gift lies. I said "no way will I ever be able to wear this thing!!" 20 weeks in, the tags from Dolly's hand me down were off and it's really all I can wear. My B cups just aren't really doin' it for me anymore. DD half way through the pregnancy. Where will I be at 40 weeks?? I don't even know what comes after DD!!

Let's see...what else? Oh, Ben passed the Bar!! We are so thankful that he passed the first time around. Ben worked so hard all summer and studied harder than I ever would have. I am very proud of the work he put in and it is paying off. We know quite a few people who graduated law school and still haven't found jobs and than we hear people you would never think didn't pass the bar. Ben has a great job and did well on the bar, healthy baby, easy pregnancy. God is so good.

Random I know. I found this picture a while back and died when I saw it. When Ben and I were dating, we went on a cruise with my mom and dad and this was the picture that was taken when we boarded the ship. Love my dad's flip glasses.

Ok, that is all I have for now. I have to ease back into the blogging world. I vow to do better. Maybe this should be a lesson to those out there who said my Palm Beach blog was bad...

2009-08-30T14:40:00.017-04:00

Well, this year at Palm Beach was a little different than last year. It was supposed to be very relaxing for many reasons:
1. Ben finished the bar the day before we left.
2. I had been freakin busy at work and was looking forward to not dealing with other people's problems.
3. We knew this would be our last vacay with no children.

I laxed, big time, on my picture taking. I don't even think I got a picture of Ben and I together. This irritates me because long time loyal reader, Heather S., has challenged Taylor and I to a 2nd annual "Best Palm Beach Post" contest and I really don't have anything to back it up. I didn't see any 70 year old men in a red Speedo with matching Crocs, no ladies tried to run me over on a motorized scooter by the pool, and I didn't even come close to getting "Steve Irwin'd" by a gang of stingrays. And if that isn't bad enough, Ben and I left 2 days early. With all this in mind, here is my attempt at a second win (if you don't remember last years contest let me refresh your memory; I beat Taylor so badly he re-did his blog and STILL lost). Pitiful, just pitiful.

Day 1
Ben and I traveled and waited in airports all day. We flew out of Abilene at like 9 in the morning and got to Miami at about midnight. Luckily for us, Taylor and mom were feeling hospitable and picked us up from the airport.

Day 2
Sunday, August 2, was my 30th birthday. I cried. I told myself I was actually turning 29. I threw up a little. But alas, I could not deny any longer that I am no longer a coveted 20-something. The magazine articles for 30, 40, and 50 year olds, where they tell you how to take care of your skin and what clothes are now "too young for you," now apply to me. Heather and Taylor took the day very serious and decided to prepare a fabulous, gourmet dinner fit only for a mature lady such as myself. Ok... So I actually thought I had a picture of the meal but I don't. Anyway, it was hotdogs. Heather did get me a birthday cake and I have a picture believe it or not:

Day 3
We chartered a fishing boat and Paul, Taylor, Mitchell (my nephew), dad, Ben and I went out fishing with a guide. It was really fun and something I had never done before. Mitchell was sea sick pretty much 10 minutes into the trip and laid in the back of the boat most of the time. Dad seemed to be doing ok until he threw up over the side of the boat. Paul started to get queezy but held it together. Taylor, Ben and I felt fine for the whole 4 hours and we decided they got sick because they all ate bananas for breakfast. It was the only sensible conclusion...
Ok, I found one picture of Ben and I.

Love this picture. Dad looks like some rando who stepped into the picture.

Day 4
This day was like most. Beach, pool, food, fun with some random activity and not much else. I love days like that.
Anna's head. If you can enlarge this picture, do it. Her face is hilarious.

Heather doing her "High School Musical Jump." I didn't take the picture correctly. If you want to see the complete "High School Musical Jump Competition" between Heather, Anna, and myself go to Taylor's blog (you can link there on the right side of my blog). I think I clearly won.

Making Tie Die shirts

Day 5, 6, 7
What a little jerk...

So here are your instructions: Read Taylor's post and then come back and vote by leaving a comment.

The Mover and the Shaker

2009-08-11T23:18:00.002-04:00

I would like to thank all my loyal "Macon Fun of The Grants" readers for their comments on my blog. I appreciate the excitement over the baby and the sympathy for my lack of blog comments. I have good readers. I had 10 comments and none of them were from me!! Now that is exciting.

I went to the doctor today and everything was great. I love my doctor. My due date is March 7th. After seeing the sonogram, I am more excited. I think I was anxious about what the doctor would find and, I know it sounds crazy, but I wondered if I was even pregnant!! I mean, I haven't been sick and other than having two positive preggo tests, being really tired, and all of a sudden having HUGE boobies, I had no indications. I know, I sound crazy but we all knew that. Anyway, he/she moved tons which Ben and I were both surprised about. The doctor laughed at one point because he/she looked like they were shaking their butt. That's my kind of kid.

I know I promised Palm Beach pictures and I know you are all on the edge of your seats waiting for them but I am freakin tired. Next time.

Our Little Juvenile Delinquent...

2009-08-07T18:53:00.008-04:00

So, our parents have bigger mouths than we do which is why, for many, this announcement doesn't exactly put the "new" in "news." I was wanting to wait and announce this with a picture or something else big but I guess I will just have to settle with: I'm preggos. I think I forget sometimes that yes, I am 30 years old and can't continue to say "hey, what's the rush? I'm still young, I've got plenty of time to have kids!" No ma'am. Not no mo'. The time has come. Ben and I are both very excited.

I go to the doctor next week so hopefully, everything will be ok. I have this fear that something will go wrong since I am only 10 weeks and now, since everyone is starting to know, there will be a problem that I will have to then announce to the masses. I know, I know, I am weird and have some serious hang ups but that's what makes me so awesome. I will update after the doctor's appointment next week.

This story is something only an animal lover could truly understand:
Well, Ben and I had an awesome vacation in Palm Beach, FL with my entire family. This has started to become a tradition since this was our second summer and we have already booked the condos for the next summer thanks to my dad's timeshares. We have two condos every year that are ocean front and only steps from the beach. Really, I should still be in Palm Beach and not sitting here in Abilene typing this post but this year was a little different. Heather and Taylor hired a housesitter to stay at their house and watch their dog and cat. Eleanor, our chihuahua, was also going to stay with them for the week. Wednesday night, Taylor tells Ben that he has some bad news. The housesitter's called and said Eleanor is missing and has been since 9:00 that morning. He said they have been all over the neighborhood and called the pound but have not been able to find her. Well, I seriously freak out. If you haven't figured out yet, Eleanor is my child. I think when you don't have children of your own your pets tend to take over that role so this was more then just some dog missing. This was my baby missing. I start to cry like a little baby and can't stop. Heather lives in a nice neighborhood but over the past year, all the cats in the hood have gone missing and, on numerous occasions, there have been very large paw prints on her driveway from some sort of wildcat. Eleanor is a typical chihuahua and only likes 1 or 2 people so I knew, even if she is being called, she would not come to anyone but Ben or myself. I felt like, in my heart, I had to at least try to find her and comb the neighborhood or else I would never forgive myself if she was never seen again. Ben talked to a woman at American Airlines who told us we either had to pay $480.00 per ticket or use 12,500 points per ticket in order to move up the flight. He then called again later and talked to another woman who said she was an animal lover and has put her job on the line but will move up our flight for free. Anyway, we cut our incredible vacation short by two days and come home. I cried all night and all morning. We to DFW and Ben calls the housesitter who says they went to the pound and found her there. We were relieved. When we got to Abilene, we got her rabies tags, went to the pound and after doing the all the paperwork they told us which holding tank she was in and sent us back. Eleanor was sitting on a concrete floor and looked at us like she couldn't believe we were actually there. I noticed a red sign on her cage door that read "WILL BITE! DO NOT TOUCH!!" She slowly got up and came to us when Ben opened the cage but when we picked her up she started licking and waggin her tail. The worker came over and I told him we went ahead and pulled out and asked if that was ok. He said "I would have needed you to get her out anyway. She bites me!" Needless to say, she was dirtier then she has ever been, she was shedding really bad and her butt showed serious signs of diarrea. It is a complete bummer we had to come home early but we are just so thankful to God that she is safe and alive. Hmmm, coming home early from vaca to bail out our child...I hope this isn't a preview of what's to come.

Next post: Palm Beach recap with pictures. Stay tuned all 2 of you loyal "Macon Fun of the Grants" readers. Just out of curiousity, does anyone read this thing? I have gotten like 2 comments on my last 3 posts and I think one of those was actually written by me.

Cheri, is this Better?

2009-07-25T22:06:00.007-04:00

Can you read this better?

Quote of the week:

Heather, Mom, Dad, Holly (sitting at the kitchen table): So what do we want to do for dinners in Palm Beach?
Dad: Let's do something easy, like **thinks for a few seconds**...tortilla soup.
**Strange looks between everyone**
Holly: Torti....what??
Mom: Soup at the beach?
Heather: We aren't eating soup at the beach, dad.

What About Grandma?

2009-07-17T19:22:00.006-04:00

I died when I saw this. Read the caption below the picture. Makes it even funnier.

What About Grandma?

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What a Slacker

2009-07-12T18:17:00.017-04:00

I know, I know. I have been a complete blogging slacker. I just can't seem to get motivated to post on this thing. Ok, so here goes:
Since we left off, Ben has graduated law school, moved back to Texas, lived in Austin for 7 weeks taking a prep course for the Bar exam and, as of Thursday (his birthday) he has officially moved to Abilene and into our new house. I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
We celebrated Ben's birthday at the swim club. I forgot my camera so just take my word for it. Ben, you went from:
This cute little thing

To this... little thing

To this handsome thing. Happy 27th birthday and I love you very much!

Just a cute picture of Eleanor

While Ben was gone, Penelope decided to catch some poor little bird and then bring it in the house for no other reason than bragging rights. It was still alive and I was screaming and sweating profusely (I don't handle rodents or other wild animals in my house well) with my broom trying to sweep it out of the house. It would move everytime my broom would hit it and when I would jump back and scream, 3 cats would pounce causing a blood bath which I really wanted to avoid in my house. Penelope finally got the bird away from me, took it into my bedroom and proceeded to eat it under Ben's bedside table.

I have been keeping our work cat at my house for nights and weekends. We have a new kitty for our farm at work but it is just too hot to keep it in the workshop. Fitz doesn't want anything to do with him but Penelope sees him as the son she'll never have. My clients decided the name "Midnight Rodeo" fit him perfectly. I refuse to call him that so he's just "Midnight" for short.

Early this afternoon, Ben was in our office studying and I was in the living room watching "Ms. Pettigrew Lives for a Day" on HBO. He comes out of the office and says "Ummm...I think we have a mouse in the office." Midnight and Penelope were in there so he shuts the door. I become frantic. At one point, I made Ben put a towel at the threshold of the closed door just in case the mouse flattened his body and escaped out the bottom of the door and then I went to sit on the kitchen table with all the chairs pushed up really close to the table so the mouse couldn't use them to climb up and kill me. While Ben and I were trying to figure out what to do, we hear the mouse scream (remember, he is locked in the office with two cats) and we are hoping they got him. Ben puts his boots on and goes back in. At one point he is holding the desk up and Midnight goes under it. He is calling for me to come in and move the cat so he can put the desk back down but I told him that is just NOT going to happen and that I was very sorry I could not help him. Midnight is the only cat with claws but has the attention span of a...cat. Penelope, as you can see above, can catch just about anything without claws but couldn't concentrate since Midnight was trying to play with her. I could hear Ben saying to Midnight "Ok, get ready. When I move this back, you go in and get him." It just wasnt' working. We call around to see if anyone has a bb gun. My nephews had theirs with them at the river so that was out. Finally, after all ideas had failed Ben went in with... a golf club. He walked out 10 minutes later and said "Holly, I'm a changed man."

As tradition, every July 4th we go to Leakey with Paul and Susan to their cabin on the Frio river. It is always really fun and this year Heather and Taylor joined us. Here is our weekend in pictures. I took a lot of pictures but for some reason I didn't get any of us at the river or at the parade. I suck.

Heather waiting for the fireworks to start

Ben making Will laugh

Nathan on the swing

Anna playing with fire

All the kids and grandkids

The girls (Susan, Heather and ME!)

Second Verse, Same as the First...

2009-06-07T22:16:00.016-04:00

Well,the summer is upon us and, once again, Ben is gone for the summer taking a 7 week class in Austin that prepares him for the bar. So you know what that means. That's right. Chick Flicks. When Ben is gone for an extended period of time I watch all the movies I would otherwise never watch out of pure embarrassment. For example, last summer when he was in Texas and I was in Georgia, I Netflixed "Traveling Pants" (Ok, I can't for the life of me think of the full name of that movie but you know what I mean) and I actually really enjoyed it; which is embarrassing. So, when Traveling Pants 2 came out I wanted to see it but never could get the nerve to actually go to the theater, dragging Ben, request 2 tickets to Traveling Pants and than afterwards have to tell Ben that yes, I did enjoy the movie. So the better solution is to Netflix these movies in the privacy of my home so if they suck, yet I still enjoyed it Ben will never know. 1. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (I just remembered the full name): Good movie. That chick from Gossip Girl had a really boring story line. The chick from Gilmore Girls liked some black dude with a snaggle tooth which was kind of weird. The big Hispanic girl actually got some action in this one which I am sure she enjoyed. Overall, not as good as the first but still good. 2. Margot at the Wedding: Some indy movie with Nichole Kidman and Jack Black. Weird movie. I don't recommend it. I think I came to this conclusion when Nichole Kidman's character's pre-teen son told her he masturbated in the bathroom the night before. Too weird. Mom doesn't need to know these things and Holly doesn't need to watch a mom being told these things. Moving on... Ben had a graduation party thrown in his honor in Austin by his dad and Cheri. Since we could not be in Georgia on the day he was to actually walk, his parents threw a party on the same night which was very cool. There was a good turnout and Ben did his graduation walk around the pool which a bunch of idiots blowing the graduation song on kazoos while his dad read bad lawyer jokes. He wasn't missing much. It was basically the same as his graduation ceremony at Mercer University...
Amanda, Eleanor, and Me David, Daniel, and Ben Me, Ben and his cake Sam and Me Blake, Cal, and Hayden. Despite the looks on their faces, it really was a fun party I know what you're thinking, "Are they smoking joints?" Actually,those are little kazoo's which is very appropriate since the kazoo was invented in Macon. I have been meaning to take pictures of our house but I just haven't found the time to do it. I was very busy today going to church, eating Chinese food, sleeping, watching DVR'd "The Big Bang Theory" and now my blog... I will get those taken so you can all see our house! Which reminds me, let me tell you a little story which leads to the below pictures of our new front loading LG washers. One night, Ben and I came home to find my granny's dining room set, which I had just gotten into my house 2 days earlier, covered with water. Ben had gotten me some flowers and had put them in a vase on the table and Penelope had knocked it over. Not surprising knowing Penelope but still very upsetting. This dining room table is beautiful and was in my dad's home when he was a kid. It is in imaculate condition and after having it 2 days, I am thinking this thing is freakin ruined. So, Ben gets on the internet and reads that if you put vaseline on the table, it will help the water spots (the water spots were these HUGE white puddles all over the table). We worked on this table for over an hour and finally decided to put it in the garage since it had vaseline all over it and Penelope kept jumping on the table and sliding all over it because of the grease. We then walk into our bedroom tired from the table and find Eleanor sitting on our bed, ears back, with a big yellow pee stain right next to her. We run over and I pull up the sheet so it isn't sitting on the foam mattress top while Ben pulled the sheets off the bed. I then put the sheets in the washing machine and after a few minutes I go into the laundry and find the washing machine pouring water out the bottom. I start yelling for Ben and he says "GO GET TOWELS!" For some reason, I come back with a little mop and he just stands there looking at me. He then says "A MOP!!!??? Seriously? WE NEED TOWELS! LOOK AT ALL THIS WATER!" So we wipe up all we can but then realize we can't move the washing machine because it is FULL of water. So, we get a bucket and a cup and manually drain the washing machine that way. The only positive thing to happen from that night is seen below. This is the vase and flowers that were on the dining room table. I moved them to the bar in the kitchen and the little brat knocked them over again and shattered my vase. After killing birds and bringing them in the house, knocking over vases of flowers and cups of water, picking on Fitzgerald and somehow getting mud all over my walls, little Penelope is a tired little girl.

Is Anyone Out There?

2009-05-09T01:01:00.018-04:00

Hello...? Helllooo? Is anyone there? I think I just heard an echo. Ok, so I have totally sucked when it comes to blogging. Life has been so busy I go to bed completely exhausted at nignt. And yes, said bed is in Abilene! So, I have started my new job and moved into our new house. Ben has finished law school and is leaving for Austin in a week to study for the bar for 6 weeks. I don't even know where to start or what to say so I will just sum it up in pictures...and two stories that I find amusing.
1. The first thing I did in the new house is paint my dining room. I decided I was going to paint not only the walls but the ceiling, too. I went to Benjamin Moore with my Pottery Barn color all picked out and I was sitting on a chair talking to the store employee about paint. All of a sudden, he jumps up and says "I have an urge!" He runs through the back door and I can hear him hauling butt through the warehouse. No one else was in the store so I was just sitting there with my mouth, literally, hanging open. All of sudden I hear a woman's voice behind a heavily tinted window say "Is he all right?" I said, "Yeah, he just had an urge." She gives me this weird look and goes back to her bookkeeping.
2. My 3 year old niece, Kate, was at my parent's house playing. I asked her if she wanted to play and she looked at me and said "No, I think I'm just gonna sit here and text. I need your phone." She's 3...
Penelope enjoying the new house

Mason staying warm in the Snuggie

Anna looking crazy in the Snuggie

Cute Little Anna

Ben, Kate, and Anna

Dad and Fitz bonding

Fitz and Penelope

Fitz and Eleanor on their last day as Georgia Peaches

We decided to take a family picture after a big dinner at Heather and Taylor's house. Taylor gets his camera and sets it up on a tripod. He apparently sets it up to shoot like 5 pictures in a row. He was the only one who knew this would happen. Look at his face during each picture (normal smile). Look at everyone elses (mouths hanging wide open, people looking to the side). I feel like my mouth is the first thing people notice! It's HUGE!!!

The only "normal" family picture taken that evening

More family pictures. I guess with 6 kids a good picture is hard to come by!

Next time: Bea Arthur Tribute, Pictures of the new house, Pictures from Ben's Graduation Party in Austin (if anyone shows up)!

An Update: Random and Kind of All Over the Place but an Update None the Less.

2009-03-12T13:04:00.023-04:00

Two more weeks until I move back to Texas. I am excited yet sad at the same time. We will miss LeRoy and our friends but look forward to living near family and moving into our new house. We finally closed on our house in Georgia after two months of setting closing dates only to have the buyers lender not send the money. Apparently, lenders don't have money to lend in this economy so they lie and say it's been sent, never to be received by anyone! Idiots.

Anyway, it snowed in Georgia which was HUGE news.
It was 75 degrees on Saturday. We went to the park near our apartment.

Sunday, it was snowing. It was so pretty!

Fitz and Penelope have become best friends. They are so cute!

Penelope hogging the bed. By the way, my pillow case isn't tie dye. It's been totally bleached from my acne medication. Piece of crap.

Valentine's Day
Ben and I spent Valentine's Day with LeRoy. Ben and LeRoy decided that the Golden Corral, which just opened a new location in Warner Robins, would be a good place to eat. I wasn't excited about the idea but the minute I walked in and saw rows and rows of fried chicken and every kind of dessert you could imagine, I got into the idea. However, after a mad dash to the grill for some prime rib, I got some nasty food on my pants, hence the gray sweat pants I am wearing. I asked LeRoy if I could borrow some pants, preferably with an elastic waist band. He came through. We then went back to LeRoy's house and played Chicken Foot with the dominoes.

We took a short break to take a picture.

I took this opportunity to turn my losing streak into a winning streak by taking a little peak at Ben's cards.

Lily sitting next to the heater I have to use at LeRoy's house and Eleanor in my lap. LeRoy keeps his house SOOO cold. Good thing I was wearing sweat pants.

Ben won. LeRoy lost. Ben isn't a very humble winner.

After a few shots of crown and a Miller Lite chaser, they were friends again.

LeRoy pretending to be from Texas.

I showed him how it's really done.

All the girls in my lap. Watch your heels, they can be one mean pack of chihuahuas.

Next Post: Vinyls in Atlanta where we saw Lisa Hannigan (that girl who sings with Damien Rice) with Tucker and Erika and our St. Patrick's celebration trip to Savannah with Seth and Amy coming up this weekend.

Crime Really Can be Funny

2009-02-26T21:24:00.005-05:00

Now that we are actually living in Macon and not outside of it, we have become more aware of the high...what's the word I'm looking for...oh yes, crime. Needless, to say, Ben and I were more concerned with cheap then we were with crime. Living in Warner Robins, we lived in such a nice, safe area and, to be honest, we never really thought about having to look at the crime rate in the area we were choosing to live for 3 months. Here are a few facts:

1. Macon had 22 homicides this past year. With a population of 230,000, that is a lot of murders.

2. We live at 1420 Gray Highway. On the radio Monday morning, I was listening the radio and heard about an armed robbery at 1080 Gray Highway. Apparently, Chen's Wok was held up at gun point by a man wearing a rag over his face which begs the question, whatever happened to the trusty old ski mask?

3. Tuesday morning, Ben called me and said he was listening to the radio and heard about a double homicide at the gas station on the corner of Shurling Dr. and Gray Highway where two men were killed, one was just sitting in his car. This gas station is less then 1/2 a mile from our apartment. Ok, this one is not so funny but still a fact.

4. At the gas station right next door to our complex, a man held up the clerk with a pistol and then fled into Glenwood Village Apartments. (Oh, did I mention that is our apartment complex?) My favorite part is that the robber was described as being 20-to 25-year-old black man, between 5 feet 2 inches and 5 feet 3 inches tall, who weighs between 110 and 120 pounds. If I were that store clerk, I bet I could have kicked some serious ass, pistol or no pistol. What's the worst he can do? Shoot my keecap out?

5. The CitiFinancial at 1396 Gray Highway (remember, we are 1420 Gray Highway) was robbed by a man with a silver revolver. The man, who was wearing a bandanna over his nose and mouth, is reported to have told the employees that he “was not a bad person” and that “his children will be thankful,” Awesome. That makes it all better, sir.

6. The Burger King on Gray Highway was robbed. The robbers dropped $240 in quarters while running to their getaway car, a Honda Accord, according to the report.

7. A man with a shotgun tried to rob a convenience store at 1105 Gray Higway. The owner screamed and the gunman ran away heading north. Loves it!

5. While watching a news broadcast they talked about a robbery (not on Gray Highway) and were asking people to identify the suspect that was caught on video surveillance. Here is the description they posted:
Black Male
6'1
185 pounds
Wearing all black
Possibly Cross-Eyed

This description, alone, makes all the crime in Macon soooo worth it.

And in case you are worried about us, don't be. LeRoy lent us a gun so we have our own bad-a shot gun. Nobody messes with a big, mad white woman with a shot gun under her arm.

Anyway, just to update you. We finally closed on our house a month after the closing was supposed to take place. Talk about stress. We have a contract on a beautiful home in Abilene and we are thrilled about moving into it. My mom will be flying into Atlanta on March 24 and then making the 16 hour drive with me and the animals. We close on our house on March 26 (I will be the power of attorney for Ben) and Ben's spring break will be April 6. Ben's dad will fly in to Atlanta, they will get some guys together and pack up all our stuff and then drive the u-haul to Abilene where Ben will be for a week before coming back to Macon for two more weeks and then back to Texas for good.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T12:29:00.008-05:00

Since today is Valentine's Day, I decided this would be a good post since it's about me and the love of my life. We truly have a wonderful relationship and I am thankful for Ben everyday.
My "aunt-in-law", Sandy, did this on her facebook but I decided to bring it to life on the blog.

Ben

+ Holly

= LOVE

♥ What are your middle names?
Leanne and Edward (Ben Leanne, Holly Edward)

♥ How long have you been together?
Married 3 years in April, together 4 years.

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met several times but it took Ben all those meetings to even remember who I was. On our 3rd "meeting" he finally asked me out.

♥ Who asked who out?
Oh, I think I just answered this above. Ben asked me out.

♥ How old were each of you?
Holly 25, Ben 22

♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most?
Holly's

♥ Do you have any children together?
No human kids yet.

♥ What about pets?
I guess you could call them pets. They are children to us. Chihuahua-Eleanor, 6-toed gray tabby-Fitzgerald, straight from the 'hood gray tabby-Penelope.

♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Our ghetto apartment.

♥ Did you go to the same school?
No, Ben went to Pflugerville High School and I went to Abilene High School.

♥ Are you from the same home town?
I believe I just answered this above.

♥ Who is smarter?
Ben says him, I say me.

♥ Who is more sensitive?
Ben. Hands down.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Quiznos. I gots to get my sammies fix. Ooohhh-Oohhhh!!

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
We went to Belize together. Grand Caymen also. Which one is further? Who knows, who cares.

♥ Who has the craziest exes?
Holly. Hands down.

♥ Who has the worse temper?
Neither one of us really has a temper but if I had to say someone, I would say me.

♥ Who does the cooking?
Holly does the cooking. Ben's cuts the tips of his fingers off and burns his stomach with hot oil.

♥ Who is more social?
Holly.

♥ Who is the neat-freak?
We are both very clean but I am the actual freak about it.

♥ Who is the more stubborn?
Neither one really. We are both really laid back and one usually gives in when something is really not that important to them. If I HAD to say one of us, I would say me. (Man, I kind of sound like a bitch on this thing!!)

♥ Who hogs the bed?
Neither.

♥ Who wakes up earlier?
Depends. It's usually around the same time.

♥ Where was your first date?
Abilene, TX. Dinner and movie. Back to his house to hang out and just talk and get to know each other.

♥ Who has the bigger family?
I think me. I have one brother and one sister but they are both married with three kids each. Ben has three brothers and one is married and the others are single.

♥ Do you get flowers often?
Yes. Ben is the flower king! He would send me flowers from Texas to Georgia when he was there all last summer. Randomly, he will just come home with them. Sometimes I tell him to stop spending money on them!! He's awesome.

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
Usually with my family. It's been hard since we live so far away so this past Christmas we spent it with his family. But usually mine.

♥ Who is more jealous?
Neither.

♥ How long did it take to get serious?
Hmmm. We didn't date anyone else after our first date but we were long distance so I guess immediately since we weren't dating anyone else but really probably a month before we actually talked about it and made it official.

♥ Who eats more?
Oh man, this question sucks. Ben eats more but sometimes my plate will be empty WAY before his. I think I COULD eat like him but I definitely restrict myself more.

♥ Who does/ did the laundry?
Ben is not allowed to do the laundry. This kind of goes back to that clean freak question. My in-laws think I am crazy because I have what I call "The System." Everything, down to how the glasses are facing in the kitchen cabinet, are part of "The System." So, when it comes to laundry, I, of course, have a system and Ben is not part of said system. Basically what it really comes down to is that I am so anal about how things are done I don't think Ben should have to deal with it so I just do it, happily, myself. Oh yeah, and one time Ben washed and dried my $150.00 wool-lined Banana Republic pants. Literally, the lining hit my ankles and the wool sat nicely right below my knees...

♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Ben, for sure! He just always seem to know how to fix a problem or what short cut to take when spell checking or something like that! I'm good at computers but he is very knowledgeable.

♥Who drives when you are together?
Ben, 95% of the time. Especially when we travel. I have this really bad habit of sleeping when driving long distances. I get soooo tired and literally CANNOT stay awake! I will fight it so hard, (Ben can attest) and my head will be bobbing and weaving and I'll say every few minutes when I jerk my head up "Sorry!! I'm awake! Sorry!!" I just can't help it!!

So, I would love to see this on other's blog. I think these things are interesting and fun to read since you really learn about people and on this very special day, you can talk about your hot lover as well! Leave a comment if you decide to do it so we can all come to your blog home and read about you! Happy Valentines Day everyone!

Tales from the Crypt

2009-02-11T21:14:00.007-05:00

Here is the latest news from our home in the ghetto. No seriously, I'm not using that term loosely. We really are in the ghetto and I can prove it.

1. Penelope and Fitzgerald hated this apartment when we first moved here. They would meow constantly and run out the door the minute it opened. They were used to having a doggy door where they could go outside anytime they wanted and they just had room to roam. So, since the closing on our house has STILL not taken place, we decided to move the cats back to the house and just leave the back door open so they could go outside to the backyard. We would go by the house everyday and check on them but last Thursday, Penelope was not there when Ben stopped by. Long story short we freak out because no one had actually been to the house since the morning before and it was now 6:00 in the evening on the next day. If you know Penelope, you know she does not leave the yard. She never goes far when she goes outside and will always come back when one of us shows up. Ben, who is the king of printing up flyers for lost cats (The one of Fitz, shown above, is from a few years ago when he went missing in Dallas), prints some up at LeRoy's house and then we distribute them around the neighborhood. I am crying and generally freaking out when we decide to go a block over and start knocking on doors there. The second house we come to has black plastic bags on the windows and we decide they would not have picked up our cat. As we walk by the house, Ben stops. A car passed by and he says, "I think I heard something but that car passed by so I'm not sure." We call out Penelope's name and we hear something again. We ring the doorbell 5 times over and over again and hear Penelope freaking out crying and screaming at this point but we can't find her. The lady at the house finally decides to open the hood of her car and there is Penelope sitting on the engine, trapped. She was scared and filthy and when I picked her up off the hood, she melted into my arms. Needless to say, the cats are back with us in the ghetto.

2. The same night we are in bed asleep and all of a sudden we hear a loud knock on our neighbor's door. I look (more like squint since I am seriously blind without contacts) at the clock and it's 3:00 a.m. We continue to hear knocking and then voices. All of a sudden, there is a knock at our door. Ben gets up and goes to the door and says "Who is it?" The guy says "It's Brennan." Ben goes "Who is that?" And the guy responds "I'm Moe's friend." Ben says "You have the wrong apartment." and the guys goes away. Now, I watch a lot of A&E so I pretty much stay consumed with The First 48, Cold Case Files, American Justice, basically all those shows where people are living their everyday lives and then they are tragically murdered. So, of course, my first thought is "He wants to murder us!" The next day, I am talking to my friend, Amanda, and telling her about this and she says she thinks the guy was looking for a drug dealer. I think, wow, that's a good idea. Makes more sense then the whole murder plot. I tell Ben about this and he says that was what he thought the guy wanted. I guess I'm the only paranoid one.

3. I was standing outside with Eleanor, talking to one of my service providers for a client, when I see two detectives walk by and go three doors down. A couple of hours later, I see a cop in uniform go to the same guys house.

4. I meet my neighbor next door. He says his name is Mike but he goes by "coach." He says he is glad we are living in this apartment because he has had issues with drug dealers living in this apartment in the past year. He said he told management but they just told him to call the cops (so glad management is worried about their renters). This story also told me that the guy from 3:00 in the morning was, indeed, looking for drugs. Coach also told me that the guy at the end (where the cops frequented today) hates cats and has threatened to kill all the cats if they step foot on his porch. Oh yeah, and Coach told me this all while holding a 6 pack of Amstel Light and a gallon plastic jug of Vodka. I'm just saying.

5. The guy who lives in between "Coach" and the cat killer has skulls hanging from the tree in front of his apartment, above the door, and on the screen door.

6. The "Cat Killer" is apparently some old guy in a motorized wheelchair who likes to wheel and smoke at the same time. He will get that wheelchair going as fast as he can in order to get it up a very small hill next to the steps people with legs use in order to get to the parking lot. He will drag big branches and leaves under that motorized wheelchair as he goes up that hill and doesn't even care. When he goes down the hill, his wheelchair will kind of make a 180 degree turn. I don't really know why. I just know that is what I saw this afternoon.

7. I just saw a roach crawl across the floor.

We are in the process of getting our approval for a mortgage in Abilene. We found a house that we LOVE and hope to put an offer on it tomorrow. As of Saturday, I have a great job and will be moving back to Abilene end of March to start my job April 1. It is basically the same job I have now working with people with developmental disabilities. I am VERY excited about this agency and look forward to getting started. Ben will finish his last class April 29 so he will move out then. It's sad to think about my time here in GA as being over but on to a new chapter. And a new place to live...

The Great Debate: Slanket or Snuggie

2009-02-08T23:26:00.004-05:00

I am always cold. My uncle LeRoy got sick of hearing me complain about how cold I was in his house so he did what any good uncle would do, he bought me a snuggie. Some prefer the slanket but I am all about the snuggie.

I think I look like a monk. You may call me Prior Holly.

So cold. But wait, I have a snuggie!

I love to read but it's just so dang dark in here. Good thing I have my free book light that comes with every snuggie purchase.

Beverly Hills Slums

2009-02-04T16:30:00.025-05:00

Hello??? Is anyone out there? It has been so long since I posted last I wonder if anyone is still there. I have a good excuse for not posting. You see, we moved. That's right. We sold our house and had to move out end of January so this month was spent packing, locating and renting a short term apartment, moving boxes and furniture to a storage unit and moving everything that wouldn't fit into an apartment one could only describe as "groovy." All this + work (the kind where I am actually paid) = no time to blog.
Picture from our house. Penelope decided the pillow was, in fact, hers.

One last get together at the house. Our friends Amy, Seth, Letson and Laura came over to mourn/celebrate the last week in our wonderful home.

Fine, one serious one.

Eleanor will only be your friend if you have food in your lap.

Ok, here are picture of our new apartment. Don't judge us too hard. We are only white trash for three months.

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After (Office/living room/kitchen all in one)

You have to step over the coffee table in order to get to the couch. And no, it's not an illusion. The chair is, indeed, sitting in front of the couch.

Before

After - Our refrigerator would not fit in the storage unit so it is sitting in our kitchen.

It might be hard to see but those spots on this linolium is not dirt, it's stained. Oh, and I also saw two roaches last night; one on the bathroom wall and another on the kitchen counter. EEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

The apartment is gross but, we didn't have to pay a pet deposit and they gave us a short term lease without making it more expensive like every other apartment place wanted to. On our first night in the apartment the toilet overflowed when someone just went pee. Ben called the maintaince guy and after snaking the toilet, he found a toothbrush that had been flushed. It was so backed up, he had to go get us a brand new toilet. The cats are still living in the house (our closing date was pushed back) because they were obviously unhappy here. It's small and cramped and they would bolt out the door when it opened. They will have to come home tomorrow since we will close this Friday. Poor babies.

After a 3 month hiatus, Ben and I are back in boot camp. I decided it was time to go back when this conversation took place:
Holly: I am so fat.
Ben: You aren't fat. You're...healthy.

And then this conversation.
Holly: I have GOT to lose some weight.
Ben: Well... We BOTH could lose weight. (as if that makes it any better)

He's a Little Bit Country, She's a Little Bit...'Hood?

2009-01-08T22:04:00.004-05:00

The older my mom gets, the funnier she gets. I have offically heard the funniest lines ever spoken by a 60-something year old W.A.S.P and they come from the mouth of my mother. If you know her, seen her, ever heard her voice you would understand why the following strikes me as funny.
1. Ben drove my mom's car by himself one time. My mom then uses the car and when she returns home she says to us: "Who ghetto styled my car?" I looked at Ben confused as to what she meant and Ben says "I leaned her seat back kind of far." Who would have thought she knew that car seats leaned way back is, in fact, pretty ghetto?

2. A couple of days ago, my mom left a message on our home answering machine. The message stated the following: (In thick Texas accent) "hey yaaa'lll. Just callin' to say hiiii! Just wanted to tawlk so when you get this message, holla at me." Ben looks at me, smiling, and says "Did she just say 'holla at me?'

I am not exactly sure where she is getting this but I have an idea. My mom goes to the prison every week where she volunteers with the chaplain and also has inmates she visits and will talk to for an hour a week and write to encourage them. The inmates are new Christians so she talks to them about God and other Bible related topics. But, they are still inmates so I think they are starting to rub off on her. That's my only explanation.

So, in short, my dad dresses like this.

And my mom speaks like a 20 year old black man

I must say, I love it.

Christmas in Pictures and the Return of a P.E. Coach

2009-01-02T15:55:00.027-05:00

Ok, I know you are going to think I am out of my mind when I make my next statement but here goes: I think my 8th grade P.E. teacher is featured in Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover." Let me present my facts.
1. The picture. I know what you are thinking. "Holly, you were in 8th grade 15 years ago! Don't you think your teacher would look completely different now? Well, my answer is yes and, apparently no. If I remember correctly, this p.e. teacher was straight out of college so she was very young and would most likely look somewhat the same now. Also, I don't remember her last name but I know her first name was Suzanne and she was not married at the time so the last name would be different now anyway. I remember her first name because me and my friends made fun of her one time and she over heard us. She cried. We were in big trouble.
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B

Here you will see her name is Suzanne AND her job, PHYSICAL EDUCATION ASSISTANT. Also, she was right out of college when she was a coach at Franklin M.S. and her age listed in the book is 38. So, she would have been 23, 15 years ago which would make sense. Your honor, I rest my case. The witness is yours.

Does anyone out there know who I am talking about? Do you think this person is her?? If you can't see the picture very good go to your local bookstore, find the book, open to page 134 and see for yourself. Then, let me know your thoughts.

Moving on. We here at Macon Fun of the Grants are proud to announce that our beautiful and beloved house is currently under contract! Due to the state of the housing market, we put our house on the market 6 months before we need to move back to Texas and after 6 weeks the house sold (God willing). Full price! The guy who bought it is using a VA loan so the house still has to be appraised but we are very optimistic that it will appraise. We are closing January 30th so we are in the process of finding an apartment that will give us a short term lease, finding a storage unit and packing up the house. It is bittersweet because we love our house but we are so thankful that it sold in this market so quickly and at full asking price. GOD IS GOOD!

We had a wonderful Christmas. My in-laws, David and Cheri, came to spend the holiday with us and we had a fun, relaxing time. Here are some pictures to give you a better idea of how our days were spent. They were here from the 23rd to the 29th and it went by way to fast. I have the tendency to embarrass my loved ones with pictures on this very public forum so I will do my very best to not embarrass anyone...
Eleanor got into the Christmas spirit with her argyle sweater.

Since the weather in Georgia has been so hot, Ben thought the full Santa suit was a bit much for a "Southern Santa." I fixed that.

Some more Christmas cookies I made

I told Ben I hadn't eaten any of the Santa or candy cane cookies. Somehow, he new better. For some reason, this only happened to my teeth.

We worked on puzzles

Not a good idea to fall asleep while everyone else is awake.

Where's Waldo? Or in this case, Penelope.

Christmas morning. Santa comes to homes even when there aren't any kids around!

We have wonderful families who gave us a lot of great gifts. Eleanor, get your big butt out of the picture.

Eleanor begged David for everything on his plate. It might have something to do with him secretly dropping prime rib under the dining room table where Eleanor just so happened to be sitting.

All the cooks in the kitchen

One of the best meals ever! Prime rib, homemade sour cream mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus, Yorkshire pudding (the bread), salad and good wine. We were all in heaven!

The crew at dinner

LeRoy decided to make an appearance

The town we live in has one the larges aviation museums in the country. It was a lot of fun to see all the airplanes and memorabilia from past wars.

Behind every great woman, is a man who apparently needs a booster seat...

LeRoy and Ben. Freakin perverts.

We then went to Atlanta and visited the Georgia Aquarium. The aquarium is fascinating. All of the pictures of us were fuzzy so this is the least fuzzy. Thanks Cheri!

The day before David and Cheri left, we went to eat at a restaurant in Atlanta called "Bones." The next day was David's birthday so we did it up big! The restaurant was amazing. The Matre' d greeted David, wishing him a happy birthday. We had a private table and the best service.

The birthday boy

Ben and I at Bones

David and Cheri at Bones. David, you can't put the spoon down for just one picture?

All in all, a great time was had by all. I wish everyday was Christmas vacation.

A Christmas Picture only a Mother Could Love...

2008-12-31T11:12:00.001-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE GRANTS!

It's a Family Feud kind of Christmas

2008-12-15T22:53:00.005-05:00

I hope everyone is having a fun holiday so far. I love Christmas and get very excited about Christmas. These are some labor intensive cookies I made. I think it took me about two days to make the dough, cut them out, make the icing, put in the different colors of food coloring and then actually make them. Totally. Worth it.

My friend Jacy sent me this in an email so I thought I would make it into a post since it's pretty entertaining. Ok, these are Family Feud questions. If you need an idea to post on your blog then you can take this but you have to answer them with the first thing that comes to your mind and you can't use my answers.

1. Name something you use in the shower? Razor

2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform? cup

3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield? bird crap

4. What is something a man might buy before a date? condoms

5. What is another word for blemish? pimple

6. Something you cook in the microwave? popcorn

7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving? piano

8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman? She's lonely and easy

9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner? drag its butt across the floor

10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for? drug test

11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for? camping

12. Name a phrase with the word home in it: "Don't be such a home-o-phobe."

13. Name a sport where players loose teeth: hockey

14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day? show up for class

15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying? runny nose

16. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat? vulture

17. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it? crotchless panties

18. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it? lipstick

This is a clip of my all time favorite Family Feud episode. It is actually called Family Fortunes in Great Britain (England, France, where ever it is) and this guy is the best contestant ever! Watch one of his family members face when it pans to them after he is finished. The guy looks like he wants to kill him!! You tube is sucking lately so you might need to press play, then pause it and let it run all the way and then watch it. It's worth it, I promise.

A Look Back

2008-12-02T21:09:00.022-05:00

Please, don't be discouraged. I have returned. The Grants had a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving with my uncle Leroy, cousin Marie and her son Marcus. Ben and I cooked a big dinner and it was thrilling if I do say so myself. It is now a hectic month of work and I am trying to complete everything by the 22nd since my in-laws are coming on the 23rd for Christmas which we are super excited about. Cheri and David, my in-laws, were here last year for New Years. This trip also fell on David's fiftieth birthday. We always have a good time when we are together so if last year is any indication of how this year's trip will go, we will be having a good time. Here is last year, in pictures (and video). Ben and I got a pair of Leroy's old dentures and put them in a cup. We also borrowed a walker from Leroy. We had to make fun of David, I mean he was officially an old man. I think it's funny Leroy had all of these "old person" items sitting around his house. He even said he had a wheelchair if we needed one. Here is a video of David celebrating his birthday, old man style. Watch until the end. Classic Eleanor...

After one too many glasses of wine, Cheri decided to put balloons on her head.

After one too many glasses of wine, the rest of us said "Why Cheri, that does indeed look like fun."

We ate a really nice restaurant in Atlanta to celebrate the big 5-0 called Rathbuns.

For New Years, our friends Tucker and Erika decided to join in on the fun. They think we are Texas freaks. They think anyone from Texas is a Texas freak and I tend to agree with them so I made some Texas inspired cookies for the Mostellers to enjoy.

I decided we needed a picture of everyone before the ball dropped. I put the camera on the mantle and told everyone to get in the picture.

"Cheri, put down the bottle and get in position." (Classic Cheri-bottom left of pic!)

"Why isn't this working? Let me move the camera over so everyone is in the picture this time." "Hey, what happened to David?? At least Eleanor made it in this time."

Oops.

It's a Grant/Mosteller kind of New Year!

I cut my hair off. About 6 inches. It's been YEARS since I had short hair. Thoughts?

Oh yeah, and Penelope tried to pickpocket my cousin over the holidays.

She was exhausted after her crime spree so she decided to relax by the fire.

Longest Post EVER. Give it a Chance. You'll Like It.

2008-11-14T09:26:00.006-05:00

I have had blog block. I have strained my brain to come up with something to talk about and there is just nothing there. My head is a big ball, sitting on my neck, and there is just not much going on up there. Wait. Did I just insult myself?

One of my clients, James, is in the hospital on a breathing tube and is not doing well. He is known to steal food and then cram it in his mouth and then swallow without actually chewing. This is actually a common problem amongst people with disabilties. I am not sure why but you have to really watch them and lock up the food at their homes. Anyway, James somehow stole a peanut butter sandwich in the cafeteria at the workshop he works at, went into the bathroom and ate it without swallowing. He came out of the bathroom, gagging and coughing and then collapsed. He has not breathed on his own since then. I am a social worker and this is a business where you obviously work closely with people who are in need in one way or another. I love my profession. I truly love working with indiviual's who are developmentally disabled but it does come with a price. One, is that you get attached to the people you work with. You become meshed in their lives and they depend on you to ensure they are safe and taken care of. I see my clients more then I see my own family and I am in their business more then I am my own friends. They depend on me more then anyone else does in my current world. It's difficult to see one hooked up to a breathing machine, dying. But saying that, the other price you pay working so closely to people in need is that you start to feel nothing. I worked for Child Protective Services for almost 3 years and still, when people say to me "I don't know how you could work there. I would want to bring all the children home with me" I think "Not me!!" Sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect to an infant child has no emotional effect on me. Zero. And even as hard as it is to SEE James in the hospital, I don't really FEEL anything. At CPS, we would always say "We laugh so we don't cry." We would laugh about the most grim details of an abuse case. Even yesterday I was cracking jokes about James needing full physical support on a support scale we do for our clients (it determines how much money they receive) and how staff would tell me he really is no problem to them what-so-ever (you know, since he is lying in a hospital room in a coma) Get it? I think if we were to actually feel something when dealing with these types of issues we wouldn't last long in the business. Anyway, that is my "deep thought" for the day.
My long time friend, Jacy, sent me an email where you have to list things about yourself. I decided to put the list here.
1. What time did you get up this morning
8:00 a.m.
2. Diamonds or pearls?
diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Body of Lies. Helloooo, Leo DiCaprio. Could you be any sexier?

4. What is your favorite TV show?
The Office. and of course, Golden Girls.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Cracklin Oat Bran and a cup of coffee

6. What is your middle name?
Leanne. I think according to the state of Georgia my middle name is actually Watts!

7. What food do you dislike?
Liver. My mom used to make liver and sweet potatoes every day (at least that's how I remember it). I also HATE viatnamese food much to my father-in-law's dismay.

8. What is your favorite CD at moment?
John Mayer-Where the Light is...Live in L.A.

9. What kind of car do you drive?
Chevy Blazer. When we move and Ben has a job I want to get a Nissan Murano.

10. Favorite sandwich?
Peanut Butter and Tupelo Honey

11. What characteristic do you despise?
People who are judgemental of people who are different then them.

12. Favorite item of clothing?
Jeans. I would wear jeans everyday if I could. Except when I gain weight and they get tight. Then they really suck.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would
you go?
Greece. Umm, hello nude beaches anyone? Yeah, me neither.

14. Favorite brand of clothing?
J.Crew all the way

15. Where would you retire to?
Florida. The Villages retirement place. That is where Ben will be so I will be there with him! Golf course, ceramics, bingo, water aerobics...

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
My 29th I guess. It was a sad one because I am very close (too close) to having to say "I am thirty(fill in the blank with a number). Yeah, I'm one of those people.

17. Favorite sport to watch?
Easy one. Anyone who reads this blog knows this. MEN'S SWIMMING!!!

20. When is your birthday?
August 2, 1979

21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Kind of both. I have been making an effort to get up early but I don't go to bed until after midnight. I could sleep in or get up early. I could go to bed early or late. Basically, I am both and that makes me perfect.

22. What is your shoe size?
It used to be 10 but lately it's been 9 1/2. Am I shrinking?

23. Pets?
Chihuahua-Eleanor, 6-toed cat-Fitzgerald, Cat from the Hood-Penelope

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
I haven't pooped in three days...YEAH!!!!

25. What did you want to be when you were little?
Honestly, at one time I said I wanted to be a maid. I dreamed big back then...

26. How are you today?
I am excellent. And yourself?

27. What is your favorite candy?
Heath bar

28. What is your favorite flower?
Pansies in my flower beds. Tulips in vases

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Christmas!! I freakin LOVE Christmas!! And my in laws are coming for a week over Christmas so that makes it even better.

30. What is your full name?
Holly Leanne Watts Grant

31. What are you listening to right now?
The rain

32. What was the last thing you ate?
salad for dinner last night.

33. Do you wish on stars?
Not since I was 15.

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Black. I would be very slimming and would go with anything.

35. How is the weather right now?
Awesome. It's raining and I love the rain.

36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?
No one yet but give it some time. My phone rings all day during the week because of work.

37. Favorite soft drink?
Coke but I drink Diet Coke.

38. Favorite restaurant?
Quiznos. I'm a high class girl.

39. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Barbies.

40. Summer or winter?
Summer. I want it to be cold around the holidays though.

41. Hugs or kisses?
This question is sooo cheesy. Hugs from clients and anyone who is not my husband or my nieces and nephews. Kisses from Ben or said nieces or nephews (no tongue from the kids thank you very much). Neither from strangers, creepy men or over anxious lesbians.

42. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate

43. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

45. When was the last time you cried?
This question weirds me out because everytime I see one of these things people always put "today" or "last night." Why are people crying so much??? I don't even know the last time I cried. Probably one year ago when my grandmother died.

46. What is under your bed?
Nothing. Maybe a lost cat toy.

47. What did you do last night?
Watched My Name is Earl, Kath and Kim, The Office, 30 Rock and Celebrity Rehab. Thursdays are a t.v. night and no one better interupt.

48. What are you afraid of?
Being sterile. Ben being sterile. Being murdered. I watch a lot of cold case files and American Justice. It gets my imagination working in overtime.

49. Salty or sweet?
Sweet. Give me dessert over anything.

51. Favorite sound?
Opening theme song to Golden Girls "Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again..."

52. Favorite day of the week?
Friday at about 6:00 p.m.

53. How many towns have you lived in?
5, I think.

54. Do you make friends easily?
Yes but I can be picky. I mean, I do have a 6 month waiting list so I have to weed out the weak and un-funny. Seriously though, I love people and being social but sometimes people get on my nerves. If someone doesn't have a sense of humor, I just don't have time to sit around being bored with you. Is that mean? Don't hate. Like you aren't thinking the same thing about your friends choice.

A Few Stories on Life (or Sexdrive, Waffle House and that Biyotch D. Brown)

2008-11-01T21:21:00.010-04:00

Life has been extremely busy lately. Our house is officially on the market as of Friday. We hate having to attempt a sell in this market but we have no choice. We are putting the house on the market in November to, hopefully, have it sold by May. SAD! You can see pictures of the house at goldenkeyrealty.net, click on "Our Agents" and then click on "Janice Stefanski." Scroll down the page to her listings and click on "108 Cello Lane."
I went to Mentone Alabama to meet my mother and her friends who were staying in a cabin for the week. We had a great time relaxing and enjoying the beautiful fall weather. Mentone is a gorgeous town and it was great to see my mom.
Here are some funny (at least to Ben and me) things that have happened over the last couple of weeks. If these stories don't translate well, sorry in advance.

Ben and I were at the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie "Body of Lies" with our friends Tucker and Erika. There were three older couples, in their mid-60's, sitting a few rows in front of us and to the left. The movie had not started yet and everyone was sitting around talking. One of the older gentlemen walk into the theater and sits down with this group. He has a bag of popcorn in his hands and he turns around and says to the group, "I walked into the wrong theater. I was sitting there watching some movie called Sexdrive." This is funny to me for three obvious reasons. One, could an old man not accidently walk into a more perfect/funny name for a movie!? Two, how do you sit in a movie like Sexdrive and not realize you are not watching a gritty terrorist movie like Body of Lies? And three, did he not notice the fact that he didn't know anyone else in the theater even though, when he walked out of Body of Lies, he was sitting with 5 other people he obviously knew? I picture him walking into Sexdrive, not see his group and thinking "screw 'em, I've got the popcorn and I'm gonna sit right here."

Ben and I were eating brunch at the Waffle House which, as white trash as this may be, we really love the Waffle House. Our waitress's teeth were so dirty and infected with disease, Ben could barely get his hash browns down. The funny part is that these two wiggers walked in, sat at the counter and as they looked over the menu one says to the other "I ain't gonna eat. I'm just here to get my draaank on."

Ben and I were going through the drive through at Taco Bell. The worker comes on the speaker and says "Hello, welcome to Taco Bell. Are you ready to order?" Ben says "Hold on just a second." The worker says "Sure. Just say 'Taco' when you are ready." We look at each other and I say "Did he just say "say Taco" when you are ready?" We laugh and I tell Ben he has to say it and Ben agrees. When we are ready, Ben says "Taco!" We then get to the window, he gives us our order (which was right for the first time ever at that place) and when the transaction ended he says "Have a taco of a night!" Which we responded "Thanks, we will!" And we did.

When I was a kid and I would see a dirty car, the cool thing to write on the back window is "Wash Me." Right? Well, times have apparently changed. Ben and I were driving down the road and we look over at a dirty car and some kid has written on the dirty back window "D. Brown is da man, biyotch." Times, they are a changin...

The Mis-Adventures of Penelope Grant

2008-10-16T22:20:00.011-04:00

Greetings! It's been awhile since I last posted so I thought I would greet you with a beautiful beach, my cute little toe-headed nephew and me of course!

Can I just say how disappointed and hurt I am that my previous post only received two comments. That is an all time record low for "Macon Fun of the Grants." I have always prided myself with having the most loyal readers but I feel you have all failed me, except for Sam and I guess Taylor even though his post was somewhat rude and condescending. The rest of you can suck it.

So, I was sitting here trying to think of something to write about and decided to google "good blog topics." Up came websites that list "interesting" topics for your blogs. Maybe the problem is that I'm not interesting therefore these topics bored the crap out me so I will just let you be the judge.
Here are a few samples of some "interesting" blog topics:
1. Ask your loyal readers to email you links to their best resources and make a post about what you found.

My "loyal readers" have serious issues with commenting so this would never work for me...

2. Make a post that involves New York City, London, San Francisco or Sydney

Huhh....???

3. Create a post that utilizes a bar chart or pie chart.

Ok, seriously. Huhh...????

4. Create a post that incorporates the words, “desperate” and “futile”.

Hmmm, I think I could do that.

5. Make a post turning a negative into a positive through humor ( e.g., tell a joke: “My parents tell me I’m autistic. I tell them they have an attitude problem.”).

My personal favorite, however, I don't think I could ever be as funny as this zainy one liner!

Ok... what now. Oh! Here is the latest update featuring our favorite little kitty, Penelope. To catch you up or just remind you, Penelope has torn up our carpet to the point that we have had to put packaging tape under all the doors and on the seams where the carpet meets the tile. She has diarrhea-ed all over our floors and walls for 5 days straight. Nurses on our faces at night. Spilled water all over my new keyboard and broke it. Well, I have something else to add to this list.
Exhibit A:

I woke up and walked into the living room without my glasses or contacts on so I wasn't quite sure what I was looking at (I'm seriously blind without some sort of corrective lenses) but I thought it must be shredded carpet. All I could see were spots on the carpet and tile. I screamed out of fear of the bald spot in the carpet I knew I was about to see...

I then kneel down a good 2 inches from the carpet so I could get a good look and feel very confused as to what I was seeing. "Are those...feathers?" I ask aloud. I then look up and see a black spot on the tile, under the oven. I run back to my bedroom to get my glasses and run back out to the kitchen and I scream!! It's a freakin half eaten bird lying on my newly mopped kitchen floor. I stand there wondering what I am supposed to do??! I call Ben but he is in class and doesn't answer. I then call my mom and yell in the phone that I have a dead bird who obviously had a struggle in my living room and kitchen considering her feathers were everywhere! My mom told me to pick up the bird and put it in a sack. I asked "How am I supposed to get the bird in the sack?" Mom says "You pick it up by the foot and put in the sack. What kind of question is that, how do I put it in the sack?" She then asked "Who do you think did this?" Oh, I don't THINK I know who did this. I KNOW who did this. Fitz has never, in the 7 years as my child, killed any living creature. True, he is 17 pounds on a good day and I think Ben could probably out run him in a contest but I still don't think he would ever lower himself to eat something dead. I will say, as I was cleaning up Penelope's trophy I saw a glimmer of respect from Fitz towards Penelope. He seemed almost proud of her and even allowed her on the counter near his food without hissing even once. In all honesty, I was kind of disappointed in his attitude but that's another story. I just thought I raised him better then that... Oh, and I didn't touch that nasty bird. I got a piece of paper and swept into the Kroger sack. Penelope then jumped in the sack with the bird as it was lying on the floor as I swept up the feathers. She is so ghetto it's not even funny.

The proud older brother. He even let her sleep with him in his chair.

Tired after her kill. It's hard to be a gangsta...

One more thing. I don't think this could be re-created if you tried 100 times. This is a fly that was killed by the closet door being shut. So weird.

Eyepatch and Saggy Boobs in a Holly Bush...

2008-10-03T22:47:00.008-04:00

I have a client who is a 13 year old boy. He is autisic, blind and ADHD. He attends The Georgia Blind Academy which is a really great school for the blind. Anyway, since my client is developmentally disabled, he is way behind on learning how to walk with a cane so he uses a pre-cane. The pre-cane has two wheels and a handle so they can push it and it will hit say, a wall (or a bush in this case), before they do. I was walking with my client and his teacher one day last week and we were talking and watching him walk with his pre-cane. I see him veer to the left where a row of big bushes line the building. I begin to get a little nervous when I look at the bushes he is about to fall into and all I see are the unmistakeable pokey spikes of the holly bush. Now, I have thrown my sister, Heather, into a holly bush and 8 years later she retaliated and threw me into one so trust me when I say, you don't want to end up face down in one these suckers. The teacher reaches out and puts him back on the path and away from the bushes before he can actually fall into them but I think this begs the question: Who, when designing the landscaping for a school full of BLIND kids who, by the way are LEARNING how to get around their environment, would think "holly bushes!? Why yes, of course!! Who can resist their bright red berries and green leaves." Blind academy, people...School for the BLIND.

In my previous post, I wrote about my experience with the cupid shuffle. I think I actually referred to it as the cubic slide but, whatever. Unfortunately, I did not get video of Ben and myself doing this dance but I found a couple of videos that will give you the same effect. What you need to do is picture the first video (MSU Greek Show) and then add the Granny doing the "One Eyed Shuffle" into the MSU group and, bwa-la, you have our Friday night a week ago! The first one represents everyone at the party except for Ben and me. And yes, they really were as good as the people in the video. The second, well, that's me. Eyepatch and saggy boobs included...

Now Dip Baby Dip

2008-09-27T23:08:00.005-04:00

UPDATE: Penelope pooped in the kitchen sink. She also pooped in our jacuzzi tub. I guess the bright side is that she isn't having diarrhea anymore.

Ben and I went to Wal-Mart today to buy soap and deo for our B.O. As we were walking to our car in the parking lot, Ben noticed an old convertible with the top down and a car seat in the back seat. It was a car seat for an older child and was facing forward. Ben says: "Ooohhh, that's safe. The poor kid probably has bugs in his teeth, a sunburn and a whacked out neck from being driven in high winds!" I died. Literally. I could not keep it together.

Last night, Ben and I went to a birthday party for our trainer, Shon. This training that we are a part of is basically 95% black people and 5% white people. I say this because it's important later on. So we go to the party and we are all standing around talking. No one wants to eat because we all work out together and our trainer is there so everyone is trying to be good. Ben and I, along with two other girls are the only white people there which is really no big deal until...the dreaded dance music starts and it was at this moment I felt utter panic and absolute disbelief that I might actually have to get out there and dance with a bunch of black people who are notoriously excellent dancers. I say dance music but I actually mean line dance music. Now, being from Texas, line dancing to me means Electic Slide, Alabama Struttin and the All Around Shuffle but this kind of line dancing is a little different. As you can probably guess, you need 1. rhythm and 2. a little sass. I don't really have either but this, unfortunately, has never really stopped me. **Cut to the John Peter Smith Hospital Annual Christmas party where my brother Paul and I were the only ones on the dance floor and we were doing the Cabbage Patch, The Hammer and the Dip or the butterfly. Whatever it's called.(It goes "Now dip baby dip!").** Back to the present birthday party. I try to think of a reason why we have to leave. A movie!! Yeah, that's it. I'll say we have to leave to catch a movie. But what movie? What's out? Crap, I'v got nothing! I quickly say to Ben "What's a movie that's out right now? Ben: "Umm, Nights in Rodanthe?" I consider this for a couple of seconds but then decide that is too over the top, even for me, so I drop the movie idea. Shon then says everyone has to at least do the first line dance called the Cubic Slide and Ben and I get called by name to join in. Ben and I get out there and give it our best. But then, everything becomes slow motion. I can read their minds and I know they are thinking "Wow, white people really CAN'T dance." I feel like I am letting my fellow Caucasions down as I shake my butt a little too hard, give a couple good snaps of my fingers and kick my leg in the air a split second behind everyone else. The music stopped and I was brought back to reality. And it was then that I realized I just line danced with all black people who are REALLY good dancers. What was I thinking? And if that wasn't painful enough, I did it again later that night...

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride and Other Stories about Diarrhea and Stuff...

2008-09-19T18:50:00.014-04:00

So, you know the saying "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride"? Well, I think it would be safe to say after 4 nephews and 2 nieces "Always the aunt, never the mother". I don't say this out of jealousy of mothers or even out of pure desire for my own children, I say this simply for the fact that it's true. My brother and sister each have three children and I have 2 cats and 1 dog which count for something in my mind. Ben and I are just not ready for children at this time and I have a serious issue when it comes to kids. Ok, I know this is going to sound crazy but bear with me and then put yourself in my shoes. When I worked for Child Protective Services, I became (and still am) hyper-sensitive when it came to being around children. My life was consumed, due to my work, with kids making allegations (true and untrue) so I became very aware of not being alone with kids and making sure others were around when I changed a diaper or helped a nephew go to the bathroom. I never thought my nephews would ever say anything that was not true about me but when you deal with that type of thing all day every day you start to get paranoid. Now that I work with individuals with mental disabilities I have serious concerns about having a child with a disability. I mean, scared to the point I sometimes think having children is not even worth the risk. I know, I know what you are going to say; "Put this in God's hands" and I do. Really, I do. I know that He will do what is best for me and my family and that He has a purpose for everything but when you see the issues and all that goes into caring for someone with disabilities, it gets you thinking. I sound obsessive now but really I'm not. I just think about things and try to put myself in the position of others and I don't want a kid with a disability. That's what this rant is really all about. I don't want a kid with a disability... or one that will make false accusations about me. There. I said it. You all now know how crazy I really am and you know what, I can deal with that...Isn't that what a blog is really intended for? To put out there all your crazy thoughts and paranoias about life in general for all to see? No? Well, I already typed too much to delete so I guess I'll just leave it.

On to better topics. That cute little boy posted above is my new 2 day old nephew. William Gray Tidmore was born on September 17, 2008 to my sister Heather and my brother-in-law Taylor. I wish I could be there to welcome the little nugget but alas, I am 16 hours away and can only enjoy him through pictures. Welcome to the world Will and don't get too big until your favorite aunt and uncle see you!

Ben and I are right in the middle of boot camp. It feels good limping around the house due to getting my butt worked out to the point of pure exhaustion. We will be running the 5K Susan G. Komen race for the cure in October with our trainer. Cancer research of any kind is very close to my heart since my mother is an ovarian cancer survivor. Seeing her go through cancer treatment was a real life nightmare, one that turned my life upside down. Even though this is a run for breast cancer, I will be running for her. I just hope I don't come in last in the race by crawling across the finish line, or by getting piggy backed by some 60 year-old breast cancer survivor.

From Saturday to Wednesday, that's right, for 5 days straight Penelope has been diarrhea-ing (that's a mouthful) ALL OVER our house. The diarrhea is apparently jumping out and scaring her since she feels the need to run from it. And when I say run, I mean run from room to room to room... Literally. Penelope, while diarrhea-ing (seriously, a mouthful) runs through the house getting poop on the walls and carpet. She got poop on my nice dresser and the new runner my mother brought me back from St. Thomas a few weeks ago. We went through 2 1/2 bottles of Spot Shot trying to clean the carpet. I stepped in it a good 4 times and scrubbed the same wall about 3 times. One time I caught her running through the office where we were sitting and was able to grab her and hold her while she went all over the board under my desk. We then had to throw away our nice rug that was under our kitchen table because the diarrhea had seaped into the fabric and the little holes in the rug. She would go 2 to 3 times a day and even ran inside from the outside in order to diarrea on our carpet and walls. She went to the vet and he said this is actually pretty normal in kittens and gave her medication and food that is easy on the intestines and luckily for us (and her) she is no longer having diarrhea. I haven't had to clean the litter box in a couple of days and wondered if she was now constipated. Ben solved this mystery when he told me this morning that Penelope is indeed pooping because he just found a steaming pile of it in the corner by the kitchen...She's such a good addition to our family (seriously though, we do love her).

Penelope and Fitz playing on the bed. Penelope is about to get body slammed by Fitz and she totally deserves it. Penelope watching Eleanor eating dinner (that's the now defunct rug in the corner of the picture) Penelope sleeping. We have had to cover our nice leather chair because she has poked little holes in it. Do you see the Strawberry Shortcake sheets!?

6 Rando's About Me

2008-09-13T00:22:00.004-04:00

Sam has tagged, nay, dared me to post 6 rando facts about me. I thought long and hard and had to narrow down my quirks for a short list of 6 but I think I finally came up with some good random things about me, Holly Leanne Watts-Grant...

And now, in no particular order:
1. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I moved from Abilene to Ft. Worth and told my parents I would never move back. I also told them I would never marry a guy from ACU and I would NEVER marry a Gamma Sig (my brother and brother in law are both Gamma Sigs and I knew many of these guys and thought they were all so dull and conservative). As you have read in previous posts I loved long haired hippies who worked in vintage clothing stores and who said things like, "I attended 15 different high schools in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area because I was kicked out of all of them for smoking pot, fighting and just generally being a douche bag so when I say I graduated from Dallas Christian I mean I really only graduated from there and attended maybe 2 weeks total." Ahhh, the memories...Ok, where was I? So, I made all of these statements about how I "would never" and now I am married to an ACU graduate who was also a Gamma Sig. Not just a Gamma Sig, but an OFFICER in Gamma Sig (BTW, I was wrong about Gamma Sigs, they are actually good guys). Oh yeah, and Ben just accepted an offer to join a law firm in Abilene after he graduates so we will be moving back to Abilene this summer and I am actually excited about this fact! I guess the random fact is that I ate my words in a major way...

2. I can't swallow a pill if my life depended on it. Now, I am very healthy and don't take any pills except for Zyrtec (Taylor, I swear I take it every night regardless of what Ben tells you) so I don't really run into this problem but I started taking vitamns and they are these HUGE horse pills! I literally went through TWO water bottles trying to swallow ONE pill and never actually got it swallowed. Ben thinks I am crazy as he sits next to me and swallows 10 pills at once with no problem. I have always said I have a weird throat and I think this is just proof of my claim. Random fact #2: I can't swallow pills due to my weird throat.

3. I freakin love Quizno's Sonoma Turkey Sammies. I would eat them every day if I weren't so embarrassed about the number of times I frequent the place anyway. I have actually tried to go incognito by wearing my sunglasses while ordering. It didn't work, they knew it was me. One time, I ordered two Sonoma Turkey Sammies with a side of a Sonoma Turkey Sammie.

4. Ben and I do not have human children so one would think I got a full nights rest and woke up refreshed and excited to start the day dedicated to my wants and needs only. The truth is that I have not gotten a full nights rest in, ooohh, 3 years I would say. Eleanor is 3 years old if you are wondering where I got that number. Eleanor can and does hold her bladder for up to 7 or 8 hours sometimes due to Ben and myself being away from the house yet, when it's the middle of the night, she HAS to go to the bathroom after just going 4 hours earlier. Also, she will only go outside if we turn the porch light on which, of course, wakes me up even more. Eleanor sleeps next to me in bed so I am the one who feels when she gets up. I will hand her to Ben sometimes to take but most of the time I figure I am already awake so I might as well take her. Now we have the new kitty Penelope who wakes me up every night at about 4:00 a.m. by trying to nurse on my face. Random fact #3: My animal childen are out of control and I hope this isn't a testament to my future human children.

5.When I was kid, I loved old sit-coms. Actually, I still do. One of my favorite shows was Dennis the Menace. I thought the mother was so pretty and I noticed one day in the credits that her real name was Gloria. I then loved this name and said I was going to name my children Gloria, Madonna and Maxine. Not sure where Maxine came from but I loved it all the same. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is one of the many reasons children should not be having children. If I had gotten pregnant and had a kid when I was 8 years old, the poor kid would of had to live with the name Madonna Watts, Gloria Watts or Maxine Watts. Wow... (I'll go ahead and apologize now to any Gloria's, Madonna's or Maxine's who may have been offended by this random fact).

6. And finally my 6th rando fact. I love these cookies called Murray's. They are sugar free and are made with Splenda. I refer to these cookie as my golden nugget because they were such a good find since I stay away from sugar as much as possible. Ben thinks they are nasty but I told him he just doesn't know how to eat them. It takes me approximately 8 bites to finish a cookie the size of an Oreo and I'm telling you, the taste is different then if you were to put the whole cookie in your mouth. The cookie is like an Oreo in that it has the two crackers with the cream in the middle. First, I bite the bottom cracker on the top and then on the side. I then bite the top cracker to match the bottom (4 bites). I then bite the other side on the bottom and then the side on the top (2 bites). And finally, I take one bite of the whole cookie and then finish off the cookie with one final bite (8 bites total). I also do the same thing with Fat Free Cheez-Its. Try it, I swear it changes the taste of the food and makes an already good snack that much better!

Ok, do I dare tag anyone? Will you hate me for tagging you? Sorry, got to do it and you better post about this topic. I personally like being tagged because I don't have to think of a topic so get over it if you don't like being tagged for this stuff: Taylor, Heather W. and Meredith, do it or die.

The Most Random Post in the Entire World

2008-09-04T22:43:00.005-04:00

I couldn't think of anything to post so I will just post some random thoughts.

1. I have seen one chick flick since Ben returned and it's Definitely/Maybe. I think definitely maybe this movie kind of sucked.

2. There are some beauty shops in Macon and Warner Robins Georgia that have some very interesting names. Which one do you like the best?
Shhhh....It's a Wig
Bobbin' and Weavin
Ain't Nuthin but a Hair Thang

3. Ben and I went to the grocery store on Monday in my Blazer. The back of the car has the rear hatch that swings up and down when you open and close it. I thought Ben was out of the way so I put most of my weight into closing the door when all of a sudden I hear "BONG." I look over and see Ben, with his hands full of groceries, ducked backwards and almost fell from the impact. I had pulled the rear hatch down and the edge caught him right on the head. Ben has this thing with being hit in the head and he thinks that is the most embarrassing thing that could happen to anyone. I was like "Are you ok!!???? Oh my gosh!!!??" And all Ben could say was "Be quite and go in the house!" It hurt him but he wasn't mad and said it really wasn't that bad. I felt terrible but for some reason I couldn't stop laughing!! I really didn't think the act of hitting him in the head was funny, I really felt terrible but for some reason I couldn't stop giggling. I think it has something to do with my sick sense of humor when someone falls. Hurt=Funny...

4. If you click on the right side of the blog on Taylor and Heather, you will find Taylor's latest post about how his patients think he isn't old enough to be a doctor and how he has dealt with this his entire adult life (braces in college weren't helping the situation but that's a different story). Loyal reader Heather S. and my loyal reader/sister Heather T. have provided a picture that proves Taylor hasn't always looked young his adult life.

Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up....

2008-08-22T22:45:00.003-04:00

So, I was inspired by loyal reader, Heather W., and her blog to write about my favorite "falling" stories. Is it just me or is the act of falling not the funniest thing ever to be seen?? I love when people fall and can't help but laugh out loud when this happens. I also love to hear others stories about them falling because the mental image is just too much! I think it's always embarrassing to fall. There are a lot of things that might embarass one person and not another but, no matter who you are, falling is always humiliating. So, enjoy at my expense. Believe me, if you ever fall in my presense I will be laughing at your expense so I think it's only fair.

1. I was a freshman at ACU and was running around the school with my friend Lauren one night. There was an intramural football game going on and we were running up Campus Court right by the fields. We were both turning our necks to the left, watching the game and seeing who we knew while we were talking. All of a sudden, I trip over Lauren's feet, start to fall but then move my feet real quick to try and regain my composure while my torso is practically parallel to the ground and right when I think I have it all together I fall flat on my stomach. Of course, Lauren having a twisted sense of humor like myself, stood there laughing uncontrollably. I got up, laughing, pulled the dirt and rocks out of the wounds that were in my hands and knees and prayed no one at the football game saw me or, if they did, not recognize who I was. The next day in a class, this guy goes "Hey, didn't I see you fall last night?"

2. Fast forward 5 years. I was living in Ft Worth Texas in a second floor apartment. I was leaving for work one morning wearing black shoes and black pants. I get to about the third step from the bottom and the next thing I know I am falling down the stairs and land, once again, flat on my stomach. My bag and purse hit the ground and everything in them goes flying. I look up, praying no one just saw that and this guy walks by, gives me this look like he thinks I'm pretty much the most pathetic person he has ever seen and KEEPS WALKING!! No "Are you ok?" or "Let me help you up." or even better " Can I help you find your dignity anywhere?" NOTHING! My pants had a hole ripped in the knee and my black shoes were scuffed on the toes.

3. Fast forward 1 year. I was in Abilene visiting my parents and spending time with my best friend Amanda M. Amanda had just bought a new silver Honda Metropolitan (a scooter) with a huge silver helmet to match. I asked her if I could take it for a ride and she, of course, said yes. She showed me how to accelerate and brake and said it was really easy and I won't have any problems. So, I get to the end of the street and I am doing ok. I have to turn either left or right and I figure a right hand turn is probably my best bet. I decided I would turn REALLY wide so I wouldn't have to lean really far over. I get kind of nervous because, in order to turn, the bike has to lean. Ok, I guess I got more then "kind of nervous" at the lean because I held the handlebars so tight I accelerated on the turn, hit some gravel and flew over the scooter's handlebars. Again, on my stomach, I look around the make sure no one saw this. I had no idea how to start the scooter back up because when it fell it turned off. I was luckily wearing jeans and a t-shirt so my legs weren't that bad off but I had serious road rash all up and down both arms, rocks stuck in my hands, and my hip bones were bruised so badly I couldn't even touch them for weeks. I had to do the "walk of shame" back to Amanda's house, walking next to the bike wearing that huge silver helmet. Oh, and the scooter suffered some road rash of it's own. Amanda was a good sport about it though!

4. Fast forward 4 years. Ben and I had just gotten married and we were living in Dallas. One night, we went to a movie theater in the mall next to our apartment. As we were walking from the parking lot to the theater, I look over at the "Coming Attractions" they post to show what movies will be coming in the recent weeks/months. I say to Ben "Oh look, that Ashton Kutcher movie is com...." Before I can even finish my sentence, my foot has hit the curb. I stumble around trying to get straight again and, in trying to NOT land on my stomach AGAIN, I somehow flip onto my back. Ben goes "Oh my gosh, your just turtled!!"" I start laughing really hard and these two punk kids who were sitting on the curb a few feet away start laughing and one said through his laughter "Hey lady, are you ok???!!!" I don't know what upset me more, the fact that he was laughing at me or the fact that he called me "lady." As if it could get more embarrassing as we were waiting in line for our tickets, Ben looks over at me and says "ummm, you can totally see through your shirt." This movie was a last minute thing and we were just hanging around the house so I wasn't wearing a bra. I didn't think I should have to put one on since we were just going to a dark movie theater and it was late at night so it was dark outside also. I rememeber looking in the mirror before we left and I couldn't see anything through my white tank top...

Ok, that's all I can think of right now. Do any of you have some embarrassing "falling" stories? We would all love to hear about them so please share and post them in the comment section. It feels weird not posting any pictures. What the hell, here's one for good measure.

The Meat Market is back and Here to Stay...

2008-08-16T17:52:00.016-04:00

I know all my loyal readers have been lost without a recent update of Macon Fun of the Grants. I have been absolutely OBSESSED with the Olympics and can hardly think about anything else. Loyal reader Sam has asked I update so she doesn't have to keep looking at this beautiful picture of Michael Phelps but I love it and had to post it again. As Heather W. says "Watch out swimmers, my schlong is long and my arms are strong!" I miss Ian Thorpe and wish he was still racing. He too is a beautiful speciman as you can see below.

Hello Handsome...

Come to mama...

By the way, Ben said he wants this blog's name changed so no one thinks he is associated with it. He said he doesn't want to be a part of my "meat market" anymore. I don't know what he is talking about...

Ben is back in Georgia from his summer long clerkship in Abilene. I am very glad to have him back home and things finally feel like they are back to normal. We have our new baby, Penelope, and she is really cute but a complete turd. She wakes us up every morning trying to nurse on our noses and mouths. She has tried to nurse on Fitz (yeah, he's a boy) which makes him angry. And no, she was not weaned too early from her mother. She is over 2 months old, she is just spoiled.

A trip to the vet wore her out.

Eleanor's a little jealous.

My birthday was on August 2nd and I had a good time celebrating with my family.

Anna and Mason help me with my birthday cake.

Taylor trying, and failing, at the hoola hoop

Finally, our whole family was together

Penelope sleeping in the car. We drove (fine, Ben drove, I slept) 16 hours to Georgia from Abilene in one day. Penelope did awesome!

Another nasty rash while driving from Texas to Georgia.

One story I will tell before I close. I was sitting in my living room singing Violet Hill by Coldplay and wrapping my mom's birthday gift. I stop and a second later I hear Ben, who's in the office, go "Aauugghh" like he just saw something that disgusted him. I said "What's wrong?" and he answered "Your singing." Later that day Ben says to me "You're being rude." and I answered "I'm rude?! You're the one who goes aauugghh when I was singing!!" Ben says "Well, it was disgusting!" Oh. well then. I guess it's ok since my innocent,angelesque singing made you want to throw up!

A side note. Ben and I like to give each other a hard time and I was not offended by him saying that, in fact, I thought it was hilarious. We always tell each other "like it is" and never a hard feeling.

Alright, that's all I have for now. I have to mentally and emotionally prepare for the Olympics. You know, I would never watch, say, women's water polo on a regular day but for some reason, when it's in the context of the Olympics I find it to be the most fascinating sport and I talk about it like I'm an expert from all my years as a player! Water polo, volleyball, synchronized diving you name it I love it during the Olympics but wouldn't give it a second thought any other time of year. Swimming and gymnastics I love no matter what time of year. Enjoy my man candy and until next time...

A Moving Tribute plus the Netflix Que is back along with Some Stories

2008-07-30T18:12:00.016-04:00

First off, I think the day Estelle Getty died was a day that will go down in history as one of the saddest days America has ever seen. I watched Golden Girls all day on the day she died and then Lifetime had a marathon on Friday with all of Estelle's greatest moments on the show. I am starting to think I have a serious problem. I watch the Golden Girls everyday and I don't just mean when they come on t.v. I will play my DVD's over and over and over while I work on my laptop. I never get tired of the episodes. Even Ben can quote Golden Girls episodes. But hey, if that's bad then I don't want to be good...

Secondly, let me thank those of your who voted in the "Who has the best Palm Beach Post" contest I had entered into with my brother in law. I was, hands down the winner and I couldn't have done that without my loyal readers. So I would like to send a special "Macon Fun of the Grants Thanks" to all the little people.

This is a very good week because it is the last week that Ben will be in Texas. Don't get me wrong, I have actually enjoyed my time alone doing what I want and not having to worry about anyone else. It was a good reminder of my single days, minus the dating, but I am really excited about Ben coming back home. I am leaving for Abilene Friday and will spend my birthday (August 2nd)with my family and then Ben, Penelope and I will drive back to Georgia. I am ready to get life back to normal.
I don't really have much to talk about but I was feeling the pressure of needing a new post so I will just ramble and you will just have to deal with it.

Yesterday was an off day, if you will, with my clients. As you all know, I work with developmentally disabled individuals and love every minute of it but yesterday, I was not feeling the love. I went to a day center to visit one guy who has some serious issues with biting, spitting, running away and some other "sexual" things which I won't discuss in this forum. I leaned over the table to get eye to eye with him, from a distance of course because the day he spits in my face will be the day he gets his balls kicked but I, of course, digress. So, I ask him "How was your trip?" and he proceeds to look me straight in the eye, plug both ears with his fingers and hum. I start talking to his instructor who came over and he is still humming with his ears plugged as if to say "Just the sound of your voice, either directed at me or anyone else sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard and I can't stand it." He stays this way until I leave the room.
I then go to another clients group home and find him lying on the couch resting. This guy can walk but prefers to crawl everywhere which causes his pants to be pulled by his knees so his big butt is always hanging out of his jeans AND boxers. I walk up to him as he is lying there and say "Hey C__, how are you?!" He grabs the pillow from behind his head and covers his face with it and refuses to even look at me. The staff person tries to play it off by saying "Hmm. I guess he's being shy today." Yeah right. I can take a hint.
I also have two clients who are apparently dating the same man. I went to one woman's home and she was talking about her boyfriend, Kelvin, who helps do yard work for a certain provider who provides services to people with disabilities. I then go to another consumer's apartment a few days later and she was telling me how she and her boyfriend are on the same softball team. "Oh!", I say, "What's his name?" Kelvin. Kelvin?? Do you mean Kelvin who does yard work at ___? Yep, that's him. I proceed to ask her if she's sure she is the one dating him because I heard he's dating someone else. She says "I'm dating him and I can prove it." She goes into her bedroom and brings out a framed picture of Kelvin. I had to give it her because my other client did not have a framed picture of Kelvin in her bedroom. I guess "She who has the framed picture of Kelvin, wins."

Ok, is anyone interested in my "It's a chick flick kind of summer with my Netflix Que" movie reviews? Hey, did that just rhyme? Here is my list which starts where my previous review (if you didn't read the previous one, shame on you) leaves off:

Waitress-I'm not really a fan of Kerri Russell but still a cute movie. She can't pull off a southern accent if her life depended on it.

The Bucket List-Good. I laughed, I cried, I gave serious thought as to why and how Morgan Freeman has freckles and how Jack Nicholson is still getting laid. I mean he is getting really old.

27 Dresses-hmmm. I liked Knocked Up better. It was entertaining though.

Dan in Real Life-I really liked this movie which I didn't think I would like it as much as I did. Of course, I love Steve Carrell.

Maude Season 1-Ok, to all my fellow Bea Arthur/Golden Girls fanatics you must watch Maude. It is Bea Arthur's sitcom in the 70's and I love it. She is brash, liberal and it was so interesting to watch episodes based on Nixon and race issues. Also, I love Good Times and Florida from Good Times was Maude's housekeeper and then got her own spin off. Sorry, I told you I'm a fanatic. Love ya Bea!

We are Marshall-Loved it.

License to Wed-Love John Krasinki. I think he is the sexiest thing to walk the earth since....Ben. Yeah, the sexiest thing to walk the earth since Ben. The movie sucked. Wow, I actually feel bad saying that. Sorry John. I love you almost as much as I love Bea (and Ben).

So, my birthday is this Saturday and I have to admit I'm feeling a little weird about it. I know I'm young, but still it's my last birthday in my 20's and that makes me feel...in my 30's which kind of freaks me out. Ok, while I'm on the subject, has anyone out there met those people who are young but love to say they're old? Almost like being older is cooler then being young? You know those people who go "Ohhhh, you wouldn't know about that because YOU are soooo young." Like it's an insult! To me, that is the best compliment you could give me. There is this girl who goes to our church who is married with two kids. Her kids are like 9 and 7. Ben and I were at this meeting where we were talking about getting a class together for the 20 something/young professionals in our church. Because this girl's kids are older, I really didn't know how old she was but she looked about my age. In this group, there were college kids and a lot of people in their early 20's. So some of us were standing around talking and I hear her say "Ohhh my gosh, I feel so old being here! I am just so old. These people are little babies!!" And she was saying this like "I am so much better and wiser then these little peons here. If only they would let me teach them the ways of the world.." So I look at her and say "Oh, really how old are you?" And she says "28." I choked on my coke and said "Are you serious? You're 28? Hmm, I'm 28 and feel really young." She just looked at me and started another conversation. I was kind of offended by her saying how old she was. Hello!? 28? That is not old and how dare she say it is when I am 28! Oh and to answer your question, I will be one of those people who will cry when they turn 30 and from, say, 45 on will always lie about their age. Yeah, I admit it. Jealous?

One more thing. Who is super pumped for the Olympics?? I freakin love the summer Olympics! And, hello, men's swimming anyone? So I was looking at pictures of Michael Phelps,the American swimmer, and came across a rather disturbing picture. Do you see anything, oh, I don't know, semi-pornographic in this photo?

Exciting Palm Beach Pictures and Stories by Holly

2008-07-23T19:18:00.028-04:00

Ok my loyal blog readers I have returned from my wonderful and relaxing vacation that was Palm Beach. My parents have a time share that is an ocean view so my entire family (minus Ben who had to stay in Abilene and work) came out to Florida for a ligit vacation. It seems "vacations" are mostly spent going to see family so this was a nice change of pace to vacation like normal red-blooded Americans. Also, you should know that Taylor and I have been challenged by loyal reader Heather Sommerville (big shout out to ya, my sista)to see who can post the better Palm Beach blog. I have linked you to Taylor's blog so you can give Heather (via my blog) your feedback should you choose. I think Taylor's post was, how shall I put this...lacking. But some might say I'm biased and I would never want to sway your vote so I will move on. I shared a condo with Paul (my brother) and his family while Heather (my sister) and company shared with my parents. This was to split up the 5 kids because that would have been CRAZY to have them all in one condo but I personally could have cared less and thought the better option was to put my parents and me in a condo (pure tranquility) and everyone else should be left to deal with their wild spawns but no one asked me. The first night, Kate and Nathan decided they wanted to take a bath in the big jacuzzi tub in my room. Paul was filling the tub and asked me if I thought the water looked yellow. Yes. The water was indeed yellow and there was even a sign on the counter saying that the city of Palm Beach recognizes the water is a little off but it is not hazardous to your health and is just the natural "humidic and tannic" something or another of the water.
Yellow water? Who cares, we're in Palm Beach!!
Basically, everyday was the same. Beach in the morning, pool late morning, back to the condo for lunch, back out to the pool or beach in the afternoon. Thankfully, I didn't have kids waying me down so I was able to spend all the time I wanted at the beach/pool. View of the condo from my permanent lounge chair at the pool View of Palm Beach from my balcony View of the ocean from my balcony
We all decided that we needed to try out the hip-hop dance class. I never knew how white we were until I saw this. Seriously though, everyone was a good sport and we had a good time laughing at ourselves! You can see Taylor in the background and Mitchell and Nathan.
Paul (Vanilla Ice)
.
As you know, I am not above showing myself dancing on this blog but Taylor has the only copy of my skills during the hip hop class so I cannot post it and for some reason, he decided not to so that's everyones loss...
Taylor and Anna(Go White Boy, Go White Boy, Go!)

We also performed tricks at the pool. We truly are a family of talant.

Anna in her acrobatic debut

Nathan as the human water fountain

Anna mysteriously floating on her back

Paul, Mitchell, Taylor and myself got up early and went deep sea fishing. It was a lot of fun.

Mitchell and I before the boat took off.

My catch. Actually I didn't catch anything, that was my bait. Pitiful, I know

Paul's catch. Jerk...

Taylor's promise:

That little fish is going to look great on his calf. I know a good, ehh, decent tattoo artist named Willow who I can hook him up with.

Pregnetto and me

Mom and Dad relaxing at the pool

All the kids (minus Ben). I love Anna's goggles. Everytime I saw her I would think of Elton John.

I have more videos but I will post those another time since this is getting long. I have some great karoeke videos of Paul, Susan and I but Paul has the video of my singing so when I get that from him, I will post it. It's really funny let me tell you!

Now I will end this post with a story from the end of my trip. When I boarded my plane to come back to Georgia, there was not a space above my seat for my carry on so I had to go to the middle of the plane (I was up front) to store my bag. I was thinking the whole time back to Atlanta about what a pain it was going to be to have to go against the traffic to the back of the plane in order to pick up my bag. When we landed and the pilot said we could get up, I jumped out of my seat and head butted my way to my bag. Of course, I had to stand there and wait for the people ahead to move off the plane once I got the bag and I, unfortunately, was stuck in front of these two small children who did not know the words "personal space." They were kind of bumping into me but I really didn't mind since I understand that is just how kids are. Then, I feel something on my butt. I didn't turn around because I thought maybe the kid was just bumping into me again. Then I feel a small child's finger tracing a circle on my left butt cheek. My eyes go wide but I didn't want to draw attention to this because of how awkward I felt. Then, he starts to do it again and his mother sees it and says "Adam, don't touch the lady. You are in her personal space." The little heathen proceeds to poke my butt cheek while saying "This lady?? This lady?? This lady?? Momma, this lady???" I kind of wanted to laugh but I was so uncomfortable I didn't know if I should acknowledge it or ignore it. I chose to ignore it which might have made the situation even more awkward for everyone involved.
Oh, yeah one more short story from the airport in Ft. Lauderdale. I was sitting by my gate waiting for my flight reading. I had to get there early since everyone else's flights left before mine so the only people at the gate at this point was me and then some girl who sat in the row behind me. All of a sudden I hear her say "Toto, Toto, Toto, Toto, Toto, Toto!!! She sounded like she was trying to get someone's attention and just kept saying "Toto!" I kid you not, for a split second I actually thought to myself, "Am I Toto? Is she talking to me?" That just seemed like the only rational explanation but then I remembered that I didn't know anyone in the airport or in Ft. Lauderdale and, oh yeah, my name isn't now nor has it ever been Toto. I turn around slowly and see she is on the phone. I then hear her say very loudly "Toto, Toto, Toto, Toto, Toto, TONESE!!!! Listen to me!" Apparently Toto was not listening to her so she was getting annoyed. Still, I thought it was weird.
Ok, fine, one more VERY short story. There were these stray cats that we would see from our balcony wondering around the property. Heather and Paul saw a cat one night from the balcony and swore it was a Puma. A puma?? Why a puma? Why not a cougar or a wildcat? Can any one of you look at a cat and know that it's a puma as opposed to some other cat? Turns out, it was just a small stray house cat which made their claim that much more ridiculous, in a funny way.

Ben's Birthday and Texas Trip

2008-07-09T16:53:00.035-04:00

Happy Birthday Ben!! I wish I could be with you today but I had a Sonic Blast in celebration of your big 26th birthday! Oh to be 26 again! I love you and can't wait for you to come home.

I'm back!! I got back from Texas around 10:00 Sunday night and I was exhausted. After sitting on the runway in Dallas for two hours watching Nims Island I was ready to be home. I sat next to an Asian man and his wife. He took oh...35-40 pictures of the clouds. While we were landing in Atlanta, he took pictures of a concrete slab used as a parking lot, a Marriott, and a Flash Foods Convenience Store. This annoyed me. I don't why it annoyed me. It wasnt' my camera he was using. It wasn't space on my memory stick he was wasting. It wasn't my batteries in his camera. He wasn't even leaning over me to take the picture. But still, I was annoyed. Everytime I would hear the "click" of his camera with yet another cloud picture my lips and legs would tense up. I would look over at his camera to see the picture he just took and THEY ALL LOOKED THE SAME! And, of course, this annoyed me even more. I could not understand why his wife didn't tell him to stop being an idiot and that two cloud pictures are really two too many. Could you imagine his poor friends and family who have to sit through his vacation pictures! Clouds and convenience stores. Man, with friends like him, who needs friends?? Anyway, I had a wonderful trip home but it was so busy and I don't feel like I actually relaxed once. It was really great to be with Ben again since we had not been together in over 6 weeks. First, we went to Austin for my brother-in-law, Daniel's, wedding. It was beautiful and a lot of fun. My mother-in-law, Cheri, and I threw Amanda a lingerie shower and it was fun. Here is a picture of her best and most often used gift.

Candy "Posing Pouch" thong for men. This is for all you freaks out there...

We danced

We drank

We got really sweaty (I love the ladies face behind us!) Priceless...

and apparently some people lost their shoes in the process.

I got to hang out with some hot Grant (and Brown) men (me, Jon, Justin and Ben)

After the wedding, Ben and I went to dinner with Hayden and Jen who were freshly back from their honeymoon in Cancun. We love spending time with them and wish we had more time to do so. Apparently, a story was going around the wedding that Jen forgot her clothes when they went snorkeling (or something like that. I actually think I still have the rumor wrong). Ben and I thought this was an odd thing to do since, most likely, when you leave your hotel that day you are most likely wearing something whether it be jeans or a "posing pouch." We got the story straight at dinner and it wasn't near as funny as forgetting your clothes. She just didn't have a swimsuit for the snorkeling trip. I love rumors that are completely off base that can make it around a room in 10 minutes. I think I should start one here and see what happens. Ok....let's see. Amanda Musick is pregnant with John McCain's love child and Ben's jealous.

Ben, me, Jen (with clothes) and Hayden

We then went home to Abilene to see my family. Ben is living with my parent's this summer and my brother and sister and their families are all there. Heather and Taylor moved into their home on Monday so I spent some time entertaining their kids, Mason and Anna, and helped them unpack. Their home is beautiful and totally pimped out. Ben and I can't wait to move in to the upstairs guest suite after Ben graduates. Paul and Susan's home is really nice also. They are still renovating but it will look great when it's done. I went to watch my nephews, Mitchell and Nathan at swim lesson. My dad has a new "summer attire." He has started wearing shorts, suspenders, t-shirt, socks, velcro sneakers and a cowboy hat. When he is at home, he wears this same outfit, including the suspenders, just minus the shirt. Unfortunately...actually fortunately, I didn't get a picture of the shirtless summer attire. Your welcome.

Mom and Dad in his summer attire

Mitchell and Nathan at swim lessons

Heather and Taylor (our future roomies)

Paul and Susan. Paul spent hours sunbathing in baby oil to get that tan. Go Paul!

I then went to exercise class with my parents. They take an aerobics class that is called "The Blue Haired Class" a.k.a. "The Old Person's Class." I went to sit and watch and basically take pictures while laughing at them (Did I say that? I meant laugh WITH them) but my mom decided I needed to participate so after I signed the waiver saying I would not sue should I have a heart attack from the over 60's workout class we got down to business. I will say, it would be a good workout for someone in their 80's but I did not break a sweat. However, during cardio we were walking around the room and I thought the instructor said "Ok, now march around the room." Well, I start marching but everyone else is walking. Obviously you go slower when you march then when you walk and some old "Blue Hair" came up behind me and said "keep it moving." I thought I was going to die when she said that to me. Well, I showed them. I walked faster then everyone of them and I passed that old blue hair twice. Yeah, I counted.

Buns of Steel

I must, I must, I must increase my bust...

My mom and I decided Ben has been spending way too much time with my dad. Please note the outfit!

We ate at Chicken Express which I love. Ben got Cayenne pepper in his eye and couldn't open it. I thought it was funny. Ben, not so much.

Mason, Anna, Ben and I.

One of my mom's stray cats had kittens and we are all getting cats. Ben get's the tabby since she is the cutest and will match our already existing tabby, Fitzgerald. We're all about the coordinating cats.

Introducing: Penelope! She is adorable. Taylor and Heather are getting one white and one black kitty. Taylor said he is going to name them Ebony and Ivory. He was kidding but I think that is hilarious.

Penelope, Ebony and Ivory

After a fun week in Abilene, Ben and I went down to Leakey with Paul and Susan and their kids. We like to spend as much time their as possible and we always have a great time sitting in the river, talking to everyone. Here are some of the highlights.

Leakey parade. The floats always throw candy and beads to the audience. We were the only group throwing beads at the parade! It was a lot of fun.
Rockin Grannies. And yes, they were rockin. Ben threw some beads and hit a granny right on the head. He said he hit her on the bee-hive so she's ok. She did keep right on rockin!

Ligit fireworks

Watts-Grant fireworks (Or as Susan so effectionately called then "Fluffers") Ewwww!!!

Nathan is so patriotic. Mitchell gave him a tattoo that says "I love USA." This struck me as funny for some reason.

And now for the Top 5 Quotes of my Texas Trip:
5.. "That look's awful." -Mom referring to my dad's new summer attire as he walked to the car for lunch.

4.. "I just walked into the cabin and Nathan had a plastic bag over his head." -Ben referring to Nathan at the river.

3. Holly: "Dad, I don't think mom likes your manly physique anymore."
Dad: "I don't care, my physique is retired."

2. While were in Leakey at the river, Ben and I had this conversation:
Holly: "Hmmm, I wonder why she's wearing a neckbrace."
Ben: "She's building a case!"
Holly: "What do you mean? Is she in a lawsuit?"
Ben: "When we all get subpeoned for court and her attorney asks us "Was Sue wearing a neckbrace on the weekend of July 4th, we'll have to answer yes!"
Holly: "Sue, why are you wearing a neckbrace?"
Sue: "I have a degenerative vertebrae and had major surgery."
Ben: "Hmmm."

1. "Your boobies are driving me crazy." -Mom was sitting at the breakfast table with my dad and I and my dad was wearing his summer attire, minus the shirt. She was looking at his boobs and then just randomly said this out loud. Ben and I both think this is one of the funniest things we have ever heard!

A Little Wine and A Lot of Ego...

2008-06-25T11:42:00.019-04:00

So, I thought I would go ahead and post since I will be leaving for Texas on Friday for 10 days and I know all my loyal readers will be fiending for a new post. I am very excited to be going to Texas. I will get to see all of my family since they are all moving to Abilene, see my brother-in-law, Daniel, get married, throw a lingerie shower, tube down the Frio River (or just sit in my chair with a good book and an even better beer) and spend as much time as possible with my wonderful husband. Here are some pictures of what this trip just might look like if we are going by past events.

Time with family (I couldn't find a picture of everyone in my family but, you get the point)

Time with my awesome in-laws, David, a.k.a Anonymous and Cheri

Fireworks at the river in Leakey

Hanging out in the cabin at the river

Relaxing in the river (No, you're not imagining it. Eleanor really was pissed)

Imagine my future sister-in-law, Amanda, in the wedding dress and one of her bridesmaids in place of Amanda Musick. (Sorry Musick, out with the old in with the new)

Again, imagine Amanda holding up the lingerie.

I had to add this one. My mom gave me the raunchist piece of lingerie I have ever seen and she was telling the story about some woman in the store thinking she was buying it for herself!

My brother-in-law Daniel and the real Amanda.

So, as you all know I always have to add some random stories so here they go. Enjoy!

Last weekend my uncle LeRoy and I worked on my yard and then went antique shopping and out to lunch for the afternoon. LeRoy got to my house at 10:00 a.m. and we worked on the yard until about 11:00 a.m. when we finally left, in LeRoy's car, to go shopping. We returned at around 4:00 that afternoon and were both a little shocked when we saw my garage door open. Hmmm, we must have left that open after we put all the lawn stuff in there. Oops. So, we were talking about how glad we were everything was still in there and not stolen. At this point, I was searching through my purse for my keys and couldn't find them. Leroy said "I think I saw you lock the front door so you have to have them." Luckily (or unluckily) I had left the door from the garage that leads into the house unlocked so we didn't actually need the keys but I was still confused as to their whereabouts. When we walked in, I dumped my purse out and still didn't see them. At this point, I look at the front door and notice that it's NOT locked either! Leroy then points out that the back door was left open and unlocked as well!! I then remember that I had gotten into my car to get my umbrella before we left so I thought maybe I left the keys sitting on the seat. When I went out to my car, which was sitting in the garage, I see the car is unlocked with the keys in the ignition. So, to recap: I left my garage door open with the door leading into the house, from the garage unlocked. I also left my front door unlocked, my back door open and unlocked and my car unlocked with the keys in the ignition. And to make the story even more weird, nothing was stolen and no pervert was hiding in the bathroom behind the shower curtain (the place I know all rapists will be hiding should they choose to hide in my house).

Brief Intermission: If you have never read "The Kiterunner" or "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini go out and buy it, check it out in your local library or go to Barnes and Noble and stick it under your shirt and run. They are both beautiful stories of a culture we really know nothing about in a country we are currently at war with. Both books give the average Afghan citizen heart while not making excuses for their leaders. Go out and get these books and be ready to do nothing but read.

Next, has anyone ever been offended by not being a part of someones "Top 5?" Well I have been. I was looking at LeRoy's phone, searching for the calculator when I realized I was not in his "Top 5." "What the -?" I say. "Why aren't I in your Top 5??" He says, "Well....I don't know." He then searches though his phone book and finally come across my number. I said "What, you can't even put me on speed dial?!" Later that night, LeRoy says "Alright, I'll put you in the Top 5 but I have to take someone out." I told him to get rid of my 80 something year old great-aunt because, and I quote, "She's dead weight." A little wine and a lot of ego makes you say some crazy things...

An Historical Event Has Taken Place...Oh yeah, and Some Other Stuff about Beef, Chunky's and Inappropriate Dog Kisses

2008-06-20T22:07:00.023-04:00

I would like to thank the following loyal readers for making my last post the highest commented post in the history of "Macon Fun of the Grants" with a total of 13 comments. If you read but did not post, shame on you.
So, a special "Holly Thanks" goes out to:
Annalee
Makinzie
Taylor
Ben
Amanda
Sam
David
Meredith
You should all take pride in being a part of such an historical event. Congrats to you all.

Today, I was driving by Chick-Fil-A in Macon and their sign read:
New: Leafy, Hot Beefy Salads.
Is it just me or do the words "hot" and Beefy," when combined together, not remind you of a fresh dog terd with smoke rising off it? I know, I know it's a gross image but now you know what has been going through my mind since I read this very disturbing discription of their new salads. Needless to say, I will not be eating a hot beefy salad from Chick-Fil-A any time soon.

Speaking of weird food, Ben decided a few months ago that he needed to try a Nestle "Chunky." For those of you who don't know what a "Chunky" entails, it is a candy bar with milk chocolate, peanuts and raisins. So gross! What freak came up with this combination? Ben ate a couple of bites and threw it out. You know it's gross if even Ben won't eat it.

So, I was looking through some pictures on my computer and came across a very disturbing realization: Eleanor licks me on the lips. A lot. And I have the pictures to prove it. I don't know which I find more upsetting, the fact that I allow my dog to lick me on the lips on a daily basis or the fact that I have so many pictures documenting this. My mom thinks it is disgusting and screams whenever she sees it. I don't think it's gross at all. In fact, I have even recruited my nephews and they let her do it also AND I have the pictures to prove that as well!

Extreme Close-up

Even while on the telephone...

No shame

Seriously, no shame

Eleanor is more into it then Nathan

Nathan is more into it then Eleanor

Ben giving her a taste of her own medicine

Pure exhileration. And just pure disturbing.

I had another realization a couple of weeks ago. I have been lazy on the weekends and haven't been making it to church and I told Ben not to tell my mother. He said he didn't but they are in "The Plastics" (if you don't know what I am talking about, please refer to a previous post entitled "Mean Girls, Stray Cats and Netflix Ques")together so you can never be certain but I digress...Well, I was talking to my mom on the phone on a Saturday night a couple of weeks ago and she said (in a thick east Texas accent) "I know you haven't been goin' to chuuurch. You better geet up tomorrow and gowww." And what did Holly do? Got up and went to church. I think I was even the first one in the building. So, what was my realization? I am almost 30 years old and live 16 hours away but I am still afraid of my mother.

Random Stories, Random Thoughts, and that Random Diane Lane

2008-06-13T19:38:00.006-04:00

So, with Ben gone and our closest friends, Tucker and Erika, gone also (Tucker is in law school and working out of town) I don't have a lot going on that is really "blog worthy." I mean, don't get me wrong I stay really busy but nothing I think my blogging public would really want to read about. This being the case, I have decided to grace you with two stories I find funny but am not really sure they will translate through a blog. You can just leave me a comment and let me know.

Ok, for the first story. I was talking to Ben on the phone and we were talking about how, lately, when he gets to spend time with the family I am not there but when we go to West Palm Beach I will be with the family and he won't. We were laughing at the fact that we just can't seem to spend time with everyone together. So I said "When I'm in Palm Beach I am going to call you and laugh in your face." (**explanation: Basically, since Ben is in Texas and I am alone in Georgia, I am happy that I will finally be in the middle of everything and he will be alone. Does that sound mean? Oh well, get over it.**) Ben responds "Well I laugh in your face, behind your back, everyday. It doesn't make since but I still do it."

My uncle, LeRoy, and I were at a flea market called Smiley's last weekend. I have heard about Smiley's from a lot of people who said I had to go and experience what is "Smiley's" so I mentioned to LeRoy that I had never been and he suggested we go after we mow my lawn on Saturday. Let me tell you, this was the biggest square feet of pure crap that I have ever seen. We found a box full of markers that looked just like "Sharpies" (Registered trademark) and were saying what a good deal 99 cents was for 12 Sharpies when LeRoy took a closer look and said "Wait, what does that say?" Shoupies. That's right, they were not Sharpies, they were Shoupies. So, after being there for about an hour I said "I'm hungry." LeRoy looked down at his watch and I saw him tapping the face. He says, "See this watch? Look at what time it says. Now look." LeRoy proceeds to tap the face and show me the watch and everytime he shows it to me, there is a different time. I said "you need a new watch." LeRoy responded, "No I don't. It still works. When I turn the dial the hands still move so their not broken. And it still keeps the correct date. See, it says the 6th." I said, "Yeeeaaahhh, today's the 7th." **Silence** Leroy: "I need a new watch."

And now for some random thoughts:

Has anyone out there heard about this blog called "pioneer woman cooks" or something like that? Ok, I know some of my reading public reads it and some have even suggested I read it saying it is funny, sweet, blah, blah, blah. Can I just say this is one of the worst pieces I have ever read. It is cheesy, useless reading and I don't get why this lady, who posts recipes and pictures of a farm, has so many readers. I mean, I think my blog is waaaaay more interesting yet I get 3 comments, if I'm lucky, and half my friends, when asked, say they read my blog a month ago but forgot about it (Amanda). If I sound bitter, good. I meant to.

If anyone is interested in the state of my "Netflix Que: It's a Chick Flick kind of summer" here is an update on what I have watched and my often sought after critique:
Lars and the Real Girl: Loved it
P.S. I Love You: Stupid yet entertaining all at the same time
Catch and Release: Loved it
Under the Tuscan Sun: I have never seen a movie by Diane Lane and I think she is a terrible, unsexy actress. So, I wasn't really fond if this movie thanks to her. I'm going to just come out and say it. I don't like Diane Lane at all. There is really nothing redeemable about her to me. Really pretty movie though. Yeah, pretty movie.
Must Love Dogs: Again, the untalented and unsexy Diane Lane. Hated it.

I will be watching The Hours tonight which is one of my all-time favorite movies. If you haven't read the book/watched the movie/listened to the Phillip Glass soundtrack and are feeling like something is really missing in your life, then I bet this would solve that issue.

I love the two songs from the new Coldplay album that have been released. I have pre-ordered the album from iTunes and am really pumped to listen to it. Oh and in case you didn't know, Coldplay really rocks my world...I mean totally.

Does anyone out there watch Top Chef on Bravo? If so, don't you think Richard TOTALLY deserved to win? I also loved when Andrew ended one of the episodes with "I have a culinary boner right now." That made me laugh...Anyone else? No..?

Our friends, Jen and Hayden, are getting married this weekend in Austin and I wish I could be there enjoying it. I guess me and Diane Lane will just have to learn to get along.

Fitzgerald and Eleanor said to tell everyone "hello"

Revenge of the Nerds Part 2: Meredith Thomesen Ware

2008-06-01T14:31:00.014-04:00

Alright, the time has come that everyone has been waiting for. We are on to part 2 of my Revenge of Nerds series and our featured player is Meredith Thomesen/Meredith Ware/Teredith Momesen/Megadeth/Daddy long legs/Mere Bear. I met Meredith in 1st grade at Taylor Elementary and we were instant friends. We never had the same teacher after 1st grade but remained best friends. We were always together and lived within walking distance of each other. I have a lot of good memories of our friendship and even though we haven't seen each other in years, I love her to death and she will always be in my "elite group" of lifelong friends. Ok, enough of the mushy stuff. Let's get down to the stories. I remember Meredith as being the only girl who was as tall as me, which I loved. She was really into tennis, had long skinny extremities and was always looking for ways to unfrizz her frizz. She was also hilarious which, to this day, is still a top priority I look for in friends. Here are some of my favorite stories of Meredith and me:
1. We would take her poor striped orange tabby, Dot (who would literally climb the wall using the wallpaper to hang onto), and dress him in doll clothes. We would then put him in a stroller and walk around the neighborhood thinking people actually believed we were walking a real baby.
2. We would close her mom and dad's bedroom door so Dot couldn't escape and play "Cat Olympics." We would, again, dress Dot up, put him in the same stroller and do a processional where he was announced before his event. What was his event, you might ask? Duh...gymnastics. This is where the closed door comes into play. We would flip this poor, poor cat to where he was doing double, sometimes triple flips and would land on the bed and RUN. The closed door ensured we could catch him for his next event.
3. Meredith was the QUEEN of throwing parties in middle school. I don't mean, "my parents are away for the weekend let's throw a party" party but more like "Let's throw a party solely for the sake of inviting boys" party. We would sit in her room and decide who to invite, plan our outfits for a week and then Meredith would actually follow through and have the party. Her parents were always really fun and cool so her house was a great place for this. I remember the evening before one of these parties, we were at her house and one of the invited boys (I won't say who so as not to embarrass him but if anyone out there knows, you are more then welcome to post his name) came to the door, rang the bell and we both came to the door. His parents were sitting in their coversion van outside and he thought the party was that night. He had his hair slicked down and parted and was dressed in nice clothes. Poor guy. And yes, we laughed after he left.
4. One night, Meredith, Kelly Strickland and I were spending the night with Meredith and her parents were out that night. We called radio stations and requested "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred. We then ordered pizza and when the delivery guy came, we were wearing bathing suits and told him our boyfriends were in the hottub which was located in the garage. (OK, I can hardly type I am laughing too hard remembering this one!)
5. Ok, I think this is one of my all time favorites. Friday nights during football season, we would always go to the Abilene High Football games. Now this was a HUGE deal which meant we had to plan this night all week. We would decide where we were going to spend the night, who's parents would be taking us, what we would wear and what we would be doing after the game. This particular night, we were spending the night at Meredith's house and we decided we weren't tan enough. We had planned our outfits which I think we were wearing out matching Espirit long sleeve, black button down shirts with printed pieces of gold jewelry all over it, jeans and black shoes so, since our arms and legs would not be showing we came up with a "Tan Plan." We went into Meredith and Heather's bathroom and found Heather's Clinique foundation. Heather was a tennis player and lifeguard so was always really tan so, of course, her foundation was darker then our skin at the time. We put this foundation on our faces, ears, neck (only the part that wasn't covered by our hair), and our hands. We were standing outside in the sun so we could make sure the other was completely covered in foundation when Heather must have realized half her base was missing. She came out and told us never to use her expensive makeup again and that we both look like idiots. After she left, we looked at each other and said "she's right, we look like idiots" and thankfully we had a enough sense to rinse if off. Heather, I thank you for pointing that out because had we gone to the game looking like that, we would have been humiliated!!!
Ok, this is getting really long so I will stop here. I have posted some really funny pictures of Meredith and I. I have a lot so I chose the best ones. It was a hard choice!

Cross-Eyed Meredith

This was our group of friends, some we were closer to then others. If you can't tell, Meredith and I are on the right end of the diving board.

This picture has always made me laugh. I am actually taking a picture of Sarah Stuteville but Meredith was apparently hopping, alone, in the background.

I thought she looked cute here!

Matching jean shirts...

Why are my pants sitting so high on my waist?

Poor Dot the Cat.

Thick bangs, frizzy hair.

Two Peas in a Pod.

Hoola Hoop

Enjoy but beware, I have many more pictures of childhood friends so you never know when your turn will come...

Mean Girls, Stray Cats, and Netflix Ques...

2008-05-30T12:22:00.017-04:00

Well, it's been a little over two weeks since Ben left for Texas but it feels much longer. The separation is difficult for several reasons. One, I love Ben and always enjoy spending time with him and I miss him when he isn't here. Life is just more fun when he is around. Two, he is living with my parents and, honestly, I would like to be living with my parents too. The three of them are always going places and having fun and I feel left out. I sometimes think of them as the "Mean Girls" even though there is technically only one girl in their clique. They leave me out and hang up the phone when talking to me so they can go shopping or eat out, so to me, they are the Mean Girls. Also, I am obsessed with these two stray cats that have been coming around my parents house for awhile so I call throughout the day to get hourly updates. I got attached when I was there beginning of May when I realized one of the cats was pregnant. She has been sick and now she has been missing for two days. The other stray has been coming around for a couple of years to eat but won't let anyone touch it. This cat is thug. I saw him walk across the street, get pecked by birds and just keep on moving like he wasn't even feeling it. If that ain't thug, I don't know what is. There is a bird around here that pecks Fitz (this must be birthing season for birds or something) and he ducks and meows and runs back into the house. So yes, these stray cats are part of what makes this separation so difficult. Third, my brother and sister and their families are all moving to Abilene in the month of June. So, my entire family, with my sweet little nieces and nephews, will all be there and I am in Georgia. So, to pass the time this summer, I have joined a fitness boot camp which kicks my butt! My entire body, even my feet, are sore. I have also motified our Netflix que to all chick flicks that Ben would never want to watch. Here is the list of movies in my que at this time:
Lars and the Real Girl
P.S. I love You
Catch and Release
Under the Tuscan Sun
Must Love Dogs
Atonement
We Are Marshall (Ben thinks this is the most random movie on the que)
Maude Seasons 1,2,3 (Bea Arthur from the Golden Girls stars. You know it.)
Dan in Real Life
Out of Africa
In Her Shoes
The Holiday
The Other Boleyn Girl

Wow, how embarrassing. Let me just say I would never be watching these movies if I weren't alone this summer. These really aren't my type of movies that I tend to enjoy. I just thought I would endulge myself since I would never watch these movies with Ben around. You might be asking, "Then why are you watching them now if they aren't even your type of movies?" My answer, "Because I'm thirty, flirty and thriving..." (Name that chick flick. Come on Ben and Taylor, you know you can!)

I am also keeping myself busy with my recipes. I have been retyping them and putting them in a notebook, in alphabetical order. Wow, how embarrassing.

The "Plastics"

My nieces and nephews who Ben will get to see daily and I won't.
Mitchell and Nathan

Kate

Mason

Anna

Well, in June I will be in Texas for 10 days which I am very excited about. Ben's younger brother Daniel is getting married in Austin the last weekend of June so I will be there for that. Then I will be in Abilene for awhile and then on to Leakey to tube the river with my brother and his family (they have a cabin in Leakey) which Ben and I love to do every July 4th. Then in July I will be in West Palm Beach Florida with my entire family (minus Ben, he has to work) so don't worry, I will actually have more interesting posts in the future. Until then, you are stuck with recipe stories and Netflix ques.

Strangest Marketing Tool...Ever

2008-05-21T20:19:00.004-04:00

So, I was driving down I-75 and looked up to read a billboard. It was the strangest most confusing billboard I think I have ever read.

Cafe' Erotica: 10 Beautiful Strippers and 1 Ugly Stripper!

A couple of questions:
1. Why would you interview and eventually hire an ugly woman to work in your strip club?
2. When coming up with your marketing tool, why is your token, ugly stripper the hidden treasure that is, for sure, going to lure men into your club?

I like to think the meeting with the marketing team went something like this:

Marketing Team (M.T.): So, let's think of something about your club that is special and unique. Something that will really bring in the customers. How's your bar? Maybe a good wine list or large beer selection?

Club Owner: Nooo... We, uh, actually lost our liquor license last year due to a little "incident" (finger quotes) so I guess you could say we are BYOB (finger quotes) at this point.

M.T.: Ok, Ok. Well... how about your D.J.? Would you say your D.J. plays good music that can really get the crowd pumped?

Club Owner: Nooo....Noooo...I would actually not say that. Our D.J. struggles a little with his music selections.

M.T.: Hmmmm...Well, what about your dancers? Are they especially beautiful or exotic in any way?

Club Owner: Oh yes. Our girls are very pretty. Well... all except for 1. Yeah, one of our dancers is fugly. I mean a reeeaaal butterface.

M.T.: A butterface?!! A really fugly girl!!? Well why didn't you say so!!

I think the "and 1 Ugly Stripper" looks something like this woman.

Let me just say that when I worked for Child Protective Services, I had several moms who worked for Cafe' Erotica so, trust me when I say, there's more then just "and 1 Ugly Stripper."

Last thought: Don't you think the dancers sat around wondering who the ugly stripper was that was being advertised on their billboard?? I wonder if a customer ever walked in asking, specifically, for the ugly one! I freakin love it!!

Family Tribute Series: Benjamin Grant

2008-05-15T23:12:00.015-04:00

So, my wonderful husband has left me. That didn't come out right. Ben is working in Abilene this summer at a law firm so, technically he has left me but it's for a good cause. We really want to return to Texas after Ben graduates from law school so this is the best way to make that happen. Ben will be in Abilene until August 1st which TOTALLY sucks but I have several trips planned this summer to see him so, we'll make it work. May 8th we traveled 16 hours (one way) by car to Abilene but made a stop in Atlanta that night for a Radiohead concert. Radiohead rocks my world and apparently all 20-something, pot smoking, hippies worlds as well. I have no problem with the hippies. I have always loved hippie men with long hair. Throw in some dreadlocks and maybe even a little grundge under their armpits and that would perfectly describe all of my boyfriends from age 18 to say 25 (yes, you finally have your answer as to why I was not married until I was almost 27). But I digress. When I first met Ben, he was playing in a band at a small folk festival in Abilene, TX. The band was named "Ben Blake and the Latter Day Saints" and the reason I came to hear them play, you might ask? Well, I was told by my good friend Amanda Musick that they, and I quote "Are really, really bad. You have to come and hear this!" So, 11:00 a.m. on the second stage, I came to hear "Ben Blake and the Latter Day Saints." They weren't terrible which made me quite disappointed but they weren't good either. There was an exceptionally bad piano solo by the lead singer (not Ben Grant) which made me laugh (at them, not with them). After the concert ended Amanda introduced me to Ben. He had long hair and that "hippie vibe" so I, of course, thought he was really good looking. Fast forward a couple of months later and I was at a party with Amanda and, again, saw Ben. I remembered him and still thought he was really cute. Someone asked if we knew each other and I said "yeah, we've met" at the same time Ben said "No, we've never met." In my mind, I'm thinking "Who does he think he is??" Ben swears to this day that he does not remember meeting me at the folk festival. Anyway, we talked for a good 30 minutes that night and then went our separate ways. Fast forward ONE MONTH. I meet Ben again at a going away party for a mutual friend. Ben, once again, does not know who I am. This time, I'm thinking "This dude is just plain stupid because he has got to at least recognize my face!" Ben says he did remember my face but couldn't place where he met me and even if he did meet me. So, his pick up line at the going away party? "How's your Christmas?" And the rest is history.

Now, since this is a tribute to Ben I will get into the "nice" part of my blog. Let me say, I loved being single before meeting Ben. I dated a lot but still liked my independence and I was always a little scared of marriage. I don't know why I felt that way since my parents have a great marriage but I would see everyone around me divorcing and, since I don't believe in divorce, I knew the man I married had to be incredible before I would take that major step. Here is a Top Ten List of some of my favorite things about Ben.

10. Ben can answer just about any "Golden Girl" trivia question I throw at him.
9. Ben has a voice for our dog and our cat.
8. Ben will sit and watch Golden Girls, Step It Up and Dance, Project Runway, and Small People, Big World and NEVER complain.
7. Ben loves my family as though it was the family he was born into. He is especially good with my nieces and nephews who have always been very important to me. I think they love him now more then they love me (and they love me a lot).
6. Ben is funny. I don't think many people are funny but he makes me laugh everyday.
5. When I throw cold water on him in the shower, he rarely tries to get me back.
4. Ben worries about our cat Fitzgerald when he goes outside. When Fitz won't come back in, I say "screw him" but Ben will worry and wait up until Fitz finally decides to come in the house.
3. Ben dances for me. Ballet, jazz, hip-hop, you name it, he's got a dance for it.
2. Before Ben started law school and had free time at night, he would blow dry my hair for me when I didn't feel like it.
1. Ben is a good Christian man who I know will be an amazing father to our kids if we ever have any. If we are not blessed to have them, he will be an amazing father to Eleanor, Fitzgerald and the 10 cats we will end up with to fill the void...

These pictures are to show my readers how happy Ben is and has always been. Even his baby pictures show him smiling. So cute!

Ben and I on a cruise with my mom and dad

See, he's smiling and didn't even know the pictures was being taken

Wearing glasses and still smiling

A little evil but a smile still

"I drink out of a green sippy cup. (smile)."

"We wear matching sailor outfits. (smile)"

"My dad's shirt is so busy I feel cross-eyed (smile)"

I got nothing for this one. I just thought he looked really cute.

Me, Ben, Tucker and Erika at the Radiohead concert. That's right, full body ponchos.

Ben and I at the Radiohead concert

And now for your listening pleasure, just a sample of the greatness we got to experience.

Deep Thoughts, By Jack Handey...

2008-05-03T15:33:00.009-04:00

Ok, not deep thoughts but I love vintage SNL so, what I can say, I went with it. I have had serious writer's block lately so I decided I would just post some random thoughts about some pictures I was looking through.

Makinzie Conley (Makinzie Heard, she'll always be Conley to me) and I were in New York City our freshman year of high school on a choir trip. We were on this cruise that went around Manhattan and there was a German tour group on this cruise as well. On one row, there were two German men, Makinzie and then me. One of them asked Makinzie if I was Cindy Crawford and in true Kinzie fashion, she said "Why yes, she is Cindy Crawford." The man then hands her a business card and asked if he could have my autograph. Makinzie hands me the business card and, through clinched teeth, mutters "They think you're Cindy Crawford. Sign it Cindy Crawford." I wasn't really sure what was going on but I liked what I had heard so I played along. As the night wore on, I was getting my picture taken with these tourists, the rest of the choir kids were playing along and I even overheard one German taking a video of me and saying into the microphone of his camcorder, "Deees ees Cindy Crrrawford and arrrround her are the crrrrazy Amereecans." Now, I tell this story because, at the time, I thought, yeah I could totally pass for Cindy Crawford but 13 years later I look at the below picture and I can't help but wonder what and how many pills these Germans must have been on...

Fast Forward one year. Makinzie and I took this picture for a friend of ours. I don't remember the circumstances behind it, who took the picture and why we were trying to look so serious and yet so sexy all at the same time. Ben once asked me, "ya'll took this picture as a joke right??" I had to admit that no, we were serious as a heartattack while taking this picture. High school kids take themselves so serious sometimes and when that high school kid grows up into a self-depricating 28 year old woman, she pays the price by this piece of embarrassment. Unfortunately, Kinzie pays for it also...

Last fall, I signed up to help serve at a dinner and auction fundraiser for the private school that shares a building with our church. After I agreed to help, I was told we had to wear "uniforms." I knew before I even heard what the uniform was that I was going to regret signing up for this and I was right: black pants, black shoes, white button down shirt and...a tie. I am serious when I say I told Ben the night of the dinner that I was dropping out because of this whole tie business! Ben thought I should wear a "baby tie" because it's more "feminine." He proceeded to tie the baby tie to prove his point. I know it sounds like he was just trying to be helpful but that really was not the case. He just wanted to see me squirm in this baby tie and then take my picture for his own enjoyment. Oh, who am I kidding, I thought it was hilarious. For some reason, I felt very trendy yet very lesbian. FYI-I did not drop out but I waited until the last minute to put on the tie and no, I didn't wear the baby tie.

Last fall we went to South Georgia with our friends Letson and Laura. Letson is the youth minister at our church and he was taking a few kids camping so Ben, Eleanor and I tagged along. We were at this state park, walking around when we saw this sign posted by some water which begs the question, what kind of perverts actually live in South Georgia?"

Same trip as above. Letson, Laura, Ben and I were trying to take a picture when this high school kid thought it would be funny to jump into the picture. Kids between the ages of 12 to about 18 annoy the crap out of me...

X-Rated Petting Zoo Parental and Prudish Discretion Advised

2008-04-21T21:32:00.006-04:00

So, this weekend Ben, my uncle LeRoy and myself went to the Mossy Creek Festival in Perry, GA. Mossy Creek comes to the area twice a year and I have always wanted to go but it's rained every year we've lived in Georgia so I have never been able to go. Mossy Creek is basically a bunch of vendors from Florida, Georgia and Tennessee who come to sell their crafts. We ate good food, I bought some cool stuff and the weather was overcast and cool so all in all, it was turning out to be a pretty good day. Well, Ben and LeRoy decided they were going to eat this greasy, orange substance the Rotary Club was calling BBQ and I said I was going to wait and weigh my options once I see everything there is to eat. LeRoy ate quickly so while Ben savored his "meat" we said we were going to walk over to the petting zoo and he can join us once he was finished. At the petting zoo, there is a fence keeping all the animals in and the adults were lined up along the fence while the kids were inside the fence petting the animals. It was actually a pretty weak petting zoo. They had two Shetland ponies, a few goats, chickens, bunnies and labrador puppies (weird). Right below LeRoy and me was one of those plastic kiddie pools full of bunnies. We started laughing because over 1/2 of them were "doing the nasty." They were seriously going at it and I was a little weirded out because kids were putting their hands in the tub to pet them. At this point, Ben came over and we pointed to the rabbits which he thought was pretty funny, and a little creepy, what with all the kids around. So then I saw one of the workers pick up one of the two Shetland ponies and I pointed at it. Here is how the conversation followed:
Holly: "Awww, look at that pony!" (first pony being held by the worker)
Ben: "Look!!" (unbeknownst to me, Ben was referring to the second pony)
Holly: "I know, isn't it so cute?" (first pony)
Ben: "Do you see that?" (second pony)
Holly: "I know, she's really cute!" (first pony)
LeRoy: "You don't see that?" (again, the second pony)
Holly: "What are you talking about?"
LeRoy: "Look at it hanging all the way down to the ground!"
Ben and LeRoy: Uncontrollable Laughter
Holly: "A few choice words and "SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I had never seen anything so gross and HUGE in my life!! I tried to mentally measure it and I swear it was over a foot long! And, to make matters worse, there were three kids standing next to it just petting away! I felt like I was being punk'd. It would be a pretty good premise you have to admit: children's petting zoo with extremely hormonal rabbits and ponies. I must admit though, as we left to give the animals their much needed privacy, all I could think was, "I wish I had my camera, this would be great for my blog!"

So sweet, yet so perverted. Who knew?This is "Janet, Ms. Jackson if your nasty..."

And the Award for "Most Un-Photogenic Dog" goes to...

2008-04-19T01:02:00.010-04:00

As many of my readers might know, there is an annual contest for the ugliest dog in America. The dog on the left, Sam, was the winner for 2003, 2004, and 2005 until his untimely death in November of 2005. Since his departure, the competitive world of "Ugliest Dog" has yet to find a reigning champ with the same charisma, charm and disgusting rat tail. Though we don't feel we have found the next Sam, we do think we have a strong competitor for "The World's Most Un-Photogenic Dog."

See our submissions below. Eleanor has a difficult time keeping her eyes open when being photographed.

Could have been really cute.

Tried again. Nope...

Decent effort yet no progress.

Gave a nice pose but just couldn't bring it home.

You've got to be kidding.

After 20 tries and several treats later, it all finally comes together.

Revenge of the Nerds Part 1

2008-04-11T20:24:00.022-04:00

I am sure all of my readers went through a "nerd phase" at some point in their life. Some people's phases might last a couple of years, while others might still be weeding their way through. This post is the first in a series I shall title "Revenge of the Nerds." I have decided to put myself and poor Ben out there first before I post the pictures of friends and family. I must warn you that I have a picture album sitting by my desk with pictures from elementary through high school and I'm not afraid to use them...

Here is Ben in the bluebonnet fields on the side of a highway. Every child growing up in Texas has had their picture taken in bluebonnet fields. It's a right of passage if you will. I have to say the bluebonnet picture is cheesy all by itself but add Ben's pasty skin, oversized glasses and greased back hair to the mix and you have one nerdy honkey.

Side part, greased down with L.A. Looks and one rockin' Bugle Boy shirt.

Band. Need I say more??

Third grade school picture. You could fit jelly beans in between each one of my teeth.

My shirt reads "I've Got Some Body." I know the shirt is actually referring to the hair product but still a little weird for an 8 year old to be wearing.

Being a foot taller then your peers will always make you a nerd, especially when said peers are 2 years older...

And now, because I am vain I can't leave you with these images. Here is a recent picture of Ben and I, post bluebonnet pastures.

Nashville, Anniversary, and Some Other Random Crap...

2008-04-07T16:08:00.018-04:00

The last weekend in March, Ben and I went to Nashville to spend the weekend with my parents who were there for a computer conference. As some of you might know, I love a good computer conference t-shirt so Ben went into the Expo center with my dad to check out the loot and my mom and I went shopping. We stayed at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel and it was beautiful. We had a great time.

Me, Dad, Mom and Ben, in that order...

I think this is the worst picture I have ever taken. My eyes are squinty and I look like I have been awake for days. But, I post the good, the bad and the ugly of others so I have to do the same for me. It's only fair.

Mom and Dad

Playing Phase 10 in the hotel room. We pulled an ironing board in between the beds, pulled out the snacks and played a seriously heated game of cards. Dad put my fur blanket around his lap because he didn't think others would like to see his boxer shorts. We all agreed. Ben won every game which hacked my mom off. She said she wasn't playing cards anymore with Taylor (he cheats) and Ben (he wins too much).

Monday was our 2 year wedding anniversary so we went to dinner and then came back to our house for champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. Ben made them at my uncles house and I had no idea! He is the best husband ever and I love being married to such a wonderful man.

Ben's face in this picture makes me laugh every time I look at it!!

And now for the random crap. This is our jasmine in our backyard. It bloomed for Spring and looks beautiful. It also attracts bees. Big, yellow, scary bees.

Yet another rash. My leg was swollen and had HUGE welps all over it and I really did consider posting it. I actually downloaded it onto the post but then I was reminded how vain I really am. My leg looked like an old woman's leg and was swollen because of the welps. I looked fat and I just couldn't do it. I am ashamed and this is my confession, "My name is Holly Grant and I am one vain mo-fo."
This is the only leg post I could stomach

Ben and Fitz. Could this be any cuter!?

This is a video of this vine thing at Opryland. It's this girl, on stilts, wearing a vine costume and she moved really slow like a vine. Ben called her "his woman" because he thought she was really pretty. I think he was getting payback because one of my favorite shows on T.V. is on A&E called "The First 48." It's a documentary styled show about homicide detectives and I love watching the Miami detectives. There is one detective, Det. Rick Martinez, whom I often refer to as "My Cuban Lover." I get the Cuban, Ben gets the Vine. That sounds about right...

Back from The Florida Keys

2008-03-27T22:45:00.024-04:00

So, Ben and I are back from the Florida Keys. We had a great time relaxing and spending time together. Below is a photo journal of our trip South.

We woke up at 5:30 a.m. and started driving. Ben is a student and I work from home...We don't wake up at 5:30...ever.

Old, retired men who live in south Florida stereotypically love their pastel linen shirts. Ben decided this would be a perfect opportunity to pull out his own pastel linen shirt, a.k.a. "cruise wear." What constitutes "cruise wear" you ask? Three things: linen, short sleeves and pastel in color.

Ben loves when the commercial for "The Villages" comes on television. The Villages is an upscale retirement community in Florida where they golf, do yoga and paint ceramics. Ben would have fit in perfectly had he shown up in his cruise shirt. We passed the exit for The Villages on the way to The Keys and Ben started singing "The Villaaggeeesss!!" I think the third person back looks like Ben in 40 years.

This was our room. It was very "Golden Girl"-esque which made me extremely happy.

The sunsets were beautiful off our dock. Everyone at the lodge would bring their wine and sit off the water and watch the sunset.

Since we stayed in Key Largo, we made a trip down to Key West which was really fun. Of course, we ate Key Lime Pie...

and Key Lime Pie on a stick dipped in chocolate.

We also visited Earnest Hemingway's house where his famous 6-toed cats roamed the property (40+ cats). People were going crazy over these 6-toed cats, saying they had never heard of anything so cool. Below is our beloved 6-toed cat, Fitzgerald....

and this is Hemingway's 6-toed cat, Princess Six-Toes.

Here we are at the Southern Most Point of the United States. Just 90 miles from Cuba.

You are probably asking "But Holly, how did ya'll get around Key West so effeciently to see all of these great site?" Well, we biked it.

That's right, two baskets...

On our way back to Key Largo, I noticed I had broken out in a gnarly rash which is honestly not that unusual for me.

Ben smoking...something....(Don't freak, it's a cigar)

We were so relaxed and chilled, Ben decided to take this opportunity to sport a molester-ish sized mustache.

It's funny that I recently posted on celebrity twins because this issue came up in Key Largo. I met this 60 year old Greek woman from Boston whose name is Soupy. She and her husband were down for a two week vacation and she and I were a lot alike (basically, we both talk a lot to people we don't know). Our lodge had a heated pool so I was in the pool and Ben was sitting on the side when Soupy came in to the pool area. After we talked for awhile, she says (In a very thick Northern accent) "Oh my gawd, I just figured out who Ben looks like!! He looks like a young Tom Cruise!"

Young Tom Cruise

Ben

She then says to me, "And you look just like Paul McCartney's one-legged ex, Heather Mills!"

One-legged Heather Mills

Two-Legged Holly Grant

I don't know, Corky maybe but Heather Mills? I just don't see it. I think Ben is a great looking guy and Tom Cruise, to me, is creepy so I don't see the Tom thing either. It's ok though, I told her she looks like the mom in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding..."

It was really cool because the squirrels would come up and eat out of your hand. This is a video of a squirrel eating a chocolate chip cookie from my hand.

Fact: Squirrels do not eat Goldfish crackers.

Fact: Squirrels love cookies

Fact: Holly loves feeding squirrels

Family Tribute Series: Taylor Tidmore

2008-03-23T17:37:00.011-04:00

This is my brother-in-law. Today is his birthday.

Taylor thinks he's real smart because he's a doctor.

He likes to say he's as smart as this guy:

Doogie Howser, M.D.

However, we think he's more comparable to this little fella:

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

Taylor sure does love cupcakes...

And he sweats in the most inconvenient places.

He is a great husband to my sister, Heather and a great father to our niece and nephew, Anna and Mason.

Ben and I enjoy Taylor so much. He is one of the funniest people we know and we love spending time with him. Taylor is one of "those people" who can successfully juggle family, work, church, friends and time for himself. I am so glad he has been part of my family for the last 10 years and we look forward to the time when we are all back in Texas and can see each other more often.

My mom used to always call Taylor the "Cream of the Crop;" a nickname he has always bragged about and cherished. However, upon being caught cheating in a heated game of Skip-Bo, my mom took away this status and has since given it to Ben. Taylor, you'll always be "Cream of the Crop" in our eyes. We love you and hope you have a wonderful birthday!

Who's Your Celebrity Twin?

2008-03-13T18:49:00.016-04:00

It can be exciting when someone notices your "celebrity potential." You know what I'm talking about; someone comes up and says to you, "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like fill in the blank with attractive celebrity?" Our outward response is always a shocked, "No!! But thaaank you!" while on the inside we're thinking "Finally someone else noticed it..." Ok, not really but it is a nice compliment when someone realizes you have the look of a famous person...Right? So, the other day Ben and I were looking through old baby pictures and, besides noticing what a smiley baby Ben was, we both noticed striking resemblances between our baby pictures and certain "celebrities." Below are childhood pictures of Ben and myself and our respective celebrity twins. I think Baby Ben looks like the handsome and irreplacable actor/comedian Patton Oswalt of "King of Queens" fame.

Ben

Patton Oswalt

Ben thinks I have uncanny similarities with that "special" actor/humanitarian/80's icon Chris Burke a.k.a Corky from "Life Goes On."

Holly

Corky

So, it's not quite the same as "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like Heidi Klum/George Clooney" but...they are celebrities, so we'll take it.

All I got for Christmas was a plasma car...

2008-03-07T23:24:00.010-05:00

One of our cute little nephews, Mitchell, received a plasma car from my mom and dad for Christmas 2 years ago. It was apparently "Toy of the Year" and it looked like it had some potential. Mitchell didn't seem very excited because he said he didn't think it would work very well. So, Ben set out to prove him wrong. Do you think Ben's attempt was a success?

Notice towards the end of the video when Mitchell's friend comes speeding up on his new shiny bike, I think you can see Mitchell wiping away a tear because he got a plasma car...

Key Largo, Montego, Baby Why Don't We Go...

2008-03-01T18:46:00.014-05:00

Since we are living three hours from Florida, we decided we need to take advantage of this. Ben has Spring Break mid-March and so we have booked a trip to....KEY LARGO!!! Some might say, "Hmmm, Key Largo. Why Key Largo instead of the more popular and sexy Key West?" Well, we looked into going to Key West but alas, Key West is the official site of "Gay Spring Break 2008." Now let me say I have no problem with my readers out there who might want to venture down to the Keys for Gay Spring Break but we saw pictures from "Gay Spring Break 2007" on the internet so trust me when I say; disgusting. The last time we were anywhere tropical was on our wonderful honeymoon so I have attached some pictures from this trip so you can enjoy a preview of what our Key Largo trip just might look like.

Our previous tropical vacation included:

Wearing our helmets crooked

Drinking Margaritas

Perfecting our tan

Ziplining through the rainforest

Boating

Enjoying our time together

And now I'll leave you with a tale of danger, bravery and adventure.

Ben and I went swimming with the stingrays in Grand Caymen. We were really excited and had been told by several people how cool it was. We didn't know how big they were or even what to expect so when our boat pulled up to the location, I had immediate reservations. The guide told us the stingrays like to play with people and will swim up to you and bump your leg. They also said to shuffle your feet because they like to bury themselves under the sand and if stepped on, they could sting. When I saw these things swim up to our boat, I freaked out! They were huge and scary and it was all I could do to just get off the boat. I stood in one place and would turn my head left, right, back and then forward just watching for one. Ben was off touching them and doing his thing when all of a sudden I see a huge stingray coming right for me. Well, when I saw this stingray coming, I screamed at the top of my lungs and grabbed this unfortunate 12 year old girl by the shoulders and threw her in front of me. From a distance, Ben hears some crazy person screaming and immediately looks up and sees it's me and, now, this 12 year old! I mustered up enough nerve to touch one in order to get a picture and I'm glad I did. It was a cool experience.

This video shows the ferocity of the stingray as he messes with some kid who is trying to climb his dad like a tree! I was laughing at him but, let's face it, I had tried to climb some pre-teen just minutes earlier!

A Deal's a Deal

2008-02-28T19:59:00.008-05:00

Ok, the final tally is in for the "George Jefferson Walk-Off." I would like to thank all the voters (and those who abstained-Mom and Cheri) for taking part in this highly democratic process. And the envelope please:

Holly - 4 Votes

Ben - 1 Vote

A tacky "Neither" - 1 Vote

A peculiar "Needs more research" - 1 Vote

So the obvious winner is Holly!! Now, Ben and I had a "Gentlemen's Agreement," if you will, that whoever lost got an embarrassing video (of the winner's choosing, trust me when I say there are many) posted on the blog. Stay tuned for more walk-off's. And now, without further ado I present Ben Grant in "The Running Man..."

Yes, this is Ben's version of the 90's phenomenon "The Running Man"

Gremlin or Gizmo?

2008-02-26T15:33:00.000-05:00

Eleanor, our Chihuahua, is our little baby. We don't have human children so our dog and cat have taken on that role. Eleanor is sweet (like Gizmo) but has a real attitude (like the Gremlins). Ben knows how to really irritate her and, apparently, touching her paws is enough to set her off. Take a look and decide for yourself if she is more Gizmo or Gremlin! But seriously, does she not look JUST LIKE a Gremlin in this video!!??

Gizmo

Is Eleanor Gizmo or the evil Gremlin Spawns?

Gremlin

*Watch until the very end. She gives the best "Gremlin look."

George Jefferson and "The Walk"

2008-02-25T17:07:00.000-05:00

Alright, how many of you out there are fans of "The Jeffersons" starring Sherman Hemsley and the incomparable Isabel Sanford? Well Ben and I are HUGE T.V. Land fans (stop laughing) and get pretty darn excited when "The Jeffersons" come on. One night, we were watching an episode where George Jefferson did his "walk". You know the one. He puts his head in the air all cocky like and swings his arms from side to side. Gets us everytime! So we decided we would try "the walk" and see who was better at it. Of course, I thought mine was more authentic while Ben decided he captured the cockiness that is "the walk." So I bring the videos to my blog and will ask the reading public to cast their vote on who is more "George Jefferson like." I know many of my readers are not the commenting type since a lot of people have told me they have read the blog yet many times my comments remain at a big zero, which is fine. My ego only hurts for a few days. If the voting turn out is sufficient, next time I will post our "Good Times-Michael Evans Dance" for all of you to feast your eyes on...

*Make sure your sound is turned on!*

Family Tribute Series: Jim Watts

2008-02-23T12:56:00.001-05:00

This is my Dad!

My dad loves to tell…and retell…and in case you forgot, tell you again how cool it was when common everyday objects began to be made out of plastic. For example, did you know that toothpaste used to be made out of metal tubes? Dashboards in cars were also made out of metal...

The man loves plastic and I would bet, if possible, he would even buy plastic socks to eliminate this problem.

My dad can and will sleep anywhere at any time. No place or event is off limits: church, opening presents at Christmas time, mid sentence...

My dad has a good sense of a humor. He always said when he was younger, he was “pimples on a toothpick.” I always thought he was joking until I saw this picture:

In all seriousness, my dad is awesome. My dad is extremely giving and does so without wanting or needing recognition. He used to put money in my wallet without me knowing until I was halfway back home in Dallas. My computer crashed and with a husband in law school, we couldn’t really afford to buy a new one so he bought one without telling us. He gave Ben a truck when we first got married because Ben’s car was on its last leg and, with Ben going to law school and only me working, there was no way we could buy a new one. He is a lot of fun and Ben and I love hanging out with him and my mom. They took Ben and I on a cruise a couple of years ago and while we were getting ready for bed, wondering where they were at 12:30 in the morning, dad and mom were out dancing and then made fun of us for being in the room before them! Dad, this first family tribute is for you! We love you!

Jumping: More Difficult Than One Might Think...

2008-02-21T14:47:00.000-05:00

One night, Ben and I were sitting around and I decided I want a picture of me jumping and I want the picture to show me in mid-air. I thought, you know, this would make a really funny if not cool picture... Ben sat on the couch with the camera and said, "When I say go, you have to immediately jump." My response: "No problem."

1st Attempt

2nd Attempt

3rd Attempt

4th Attempt

So, Ben says, "How hard could this be?" I tell him, "You try it and let's see how many attempts it takes for you to nail it!!"

Ben: 1st Attempt

I told Ben, "You got lucky. Let's see if you can do it again!" Ben's response: "No problem."

Ben: 2nd Attempt

I could not believe what I was seeing. I said, "Ok, Ok, I see what you did. Let me try it again and I will get it, no doubt, this time." Ben reminded me to jump when he says "Go" and not a second later.

5th Attempt

6th Attempt

7th Attempt

8th Attempt

I DID IT!!!

I tend to think I accomplished this extreme skill out of lots of practice and sheer determination but reality says that, statistically speaking, it was about time...

Neighbor Drama

2008-02-20T11:24:00.000-05:00

So, my brother-in-law Taylor made a tacky little comment (which I know I deserved after all of my tacky little comments on his blog) on my previous post about how I could understand my neighbor who doesn't speak English so I thought I would explain. Our next door neighbors, Pete and Non, are this older exentric couple. Pete has a huge white beard, is missing one of his front two teeth and is in college studying geology. When we first moved in he asked if he could have our satelite dishes, which we weren't going to use, so he could set them up to communicate with something in space. Non is from Thailand and was a college professor but when she moved to the U.S., her education, unfortunately, did not carry over so she works in the lunch room of an elementary school. They have about 8 cats, one of which my cat, Fitzgerald, fights with constantly. Anyway, Ben and I have always been confused about how they met and how they communicate since she speaks VERY limited English. We finally settled on the explanation that Non is a mail order bride. We like this couple. They are excellent neighbors. Since our cats fight, we came up with a schedule for our cats "night out" so they aren't outside at the same time. They always let us borrow garden tools and Pete gives us a lot of advice about car stuff or gardening. Non is very sweet but not the best driver (not to be sterortypical). She has seriously almost hit Ben TWICE in the same intersection near our house and Ben always says we don't owe them for all of their advice/tools because he has paid them back by not hitting Non when she pulls out in front of him in that intersection! So, one night Ben and I are eating dinner and Non knocks on our door. She is crying and holding a notepad and telephone and we are just standing there staring like, what is wrong?! Ben finally breaks the silence and asks her what is wrong. All we hear is Pete.....Americus (city in Georgia)...doctor appointment 3:00....paper....not sleeping.....still not home....fall asleep driving....911 no wreck. I look at her notepad and she has the non-emergency 911 number written on there which I know well since I used it daily when I worked for CPS. So we call 911, ask if there have been any wrecks around here and they say no. After many questions, and side way glances at each other asking "did you just understand what she said?" we come to understand that Pete has had a paper due in class where he attends in Americus, GA and has not been sleeping. Non had a doctor's appointment at 3:00 today and he was supposed to be there. She was afraid he fell asleep while driving. Luckily, he pulled up to their house around this time and she ran home screaming.
So to answer your question Taylor, we speak the universal language of "love" and "goodwill towards others" and that is how we communicated with her so well...
Funny thing. After she left Ben asked "Where is she from again?" I said "Thailand." Ben said, "So she speaks what... Thailandese?"

Stole it from Meredith who stole it from Amanda who stole it from...

2008-02-19T11:12:00.000-05:00

1. Do you wear a name tag at work? I have a badge but it stays in my work back.

2. What kind of car do you drive? Chevy Blazer

3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? Some type of burrito with a taco and a Dr. Pepper or Pepsi, depends on my mood. It's the #1 combo meal I think.

4. Have you ever had a garage sale? No. Never have, never will. I take my stuff to Goodwill or a service center (yeah, that's right, I'm just a giving kind of person...)

5. What color is your iPod? Silver

6. What kind of dog do you have? A fawn Chihuahua named Eleanor

7. What's for dinner tonight? Enchiladas!

8. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? A Pomegranite margarita on Valentine's Day

9. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? I will talk on it while driving and then set it in my lap. EVERYDAY when I get out of my car, it drops on the ground and the back flies off. I can't believe it still works!

10. Last time you were sick? last month I had some stomach bug and the bottom fell out of my world and the world fell out of my bottom...too much?

11. How long is your hair? Shoulder length

12. Are you happy right now? Yes!

13. What did you say last? "That sounds awesome!" (Ben and I were looking into spending his Spring Break in Key West but "Gay Spring Break" is hitting it hard there during that time and Ben just read about it)

14. Who came over last? My neighbor. She was crying because her husband was late getting home and she doesn't speak English and needed us to call 911 because they couldn't understand her.

17. What is your favorite key chain on your keys? Hmmmm, My Kroger Plus Card?

18. What was the last movie you watched at home? I think Knocked Up. We Netflix mainly sitcoms and we are in the middle of Arrested Development.

19. What is in your pocket? No pockets right now.

20. Who introduced you to your crush? Amanda Musick introduced me to Ben.

21. Where do you hurt? My bladder. I need to pee.

22. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? Let's see, I'm 28 years old with no children. I'm going to have to say NO!

23. What DVD is in your DVD player? Golden Girls Season 2

24. What's something funny you did today? It's still morning so not much has happened. I scared Ben in the shower and he jumped. That was funny.

25. Who was the principal of your high school? Mr. Curtis

26. Has your house ever been TPd? Yes

27. What do you think of when you hear the word 'meow'? Hmmm, I don't know, a cat?

28. What are you listening to right now? Ray LaMontagne

29. Drinkin? Water

30. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? The check out aisle. I hate Wal-Mart and every time I am in there I think "We need a new plague." The Office anyone?

31. When is your birthday? August 2nd

32. What's the area code for your cell phone? 478

33. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? I didn't. My dad got it at a computer conference. It has a man with frizzy, curly hair in a straight jacket with glow in the dark words above his head that read "Are you Certifiable?" I wear it around the house alot. Ben is a lucky man let me tell you...

34. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? No.

35. How many states in the US have you been to? No idea, 20ish maybe.

37. What are you going to do after this? I have a meeting with one my consumers at 2:00 p.m. and I will work on paperwork at home until then.

38. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Ben

40. What about your favorite dessert? I love chocolate pie

41. What is something you need to go shopping for? I need clothes that fit. I have gained some weight and have refused to buy clothes a size bigger. I really need nice church clothes because I wear jeans almost everyday for work so I don't really have nice professional clothes anymore.

42. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives? No but my Great-Aunt is named Mogie and my aunt is Mogie Charlene and my cousin is Mogie Marie.

43. What kind of car do your siblings drive? Heather drives a pimped out mini van! Paul drives a Jeep Cherokee.

44. Do you like pickles? Not really

45. What about olives? No

47. What is your favorite kind of juice? Diet Snapple. I drink it everyday and buy it in bulk so I get all the different flavors.

48. Do you have any tan lines? In February? No.

49. What hospital were you born in? Medical City in Dallas Texas

50. Do you remember the name of your kindergarten teacher? Mrs. Cox at Abilene Christian Schools. I think she was kind of old and mean.