Tales from the Crypt

Here is the latest news from our home in the ghetto. No seriously, I'm not using that term loosely. We really are in the ghetto and I can prove it.






1. Penelope and Fitzgerald hated this apartment when we first moved here. They would meow constantly and run out the door the minute it opened. They were used to having a doggy door where they could go outside anytime they wanted and they just had room to roam. So, since the closing on our house has STILL not taken place, we decided to move the cats back to the house and just leave the back door open so they could go outside to the backyard. We would go by the house everyday and check on them but last Thursday, Penelope was not there when Ben stopped by. Long story short we freak out because no one had actually been to the house since the morning before and it was now 6:00 in the evening on the next day. If you know Penelope, you know she does not leave the yard. She never goes far when she goes outside and will always come back when one of us shows up. Ben, who is the king of printing up flyers for lost cats (The one of Fitz, shown above, is from a few years ago when he went missing in Dallas), prints some up at LeRoy's house and then we distribute them around the neighborhood. I am crying and generally freaking out when we decide to go a block over and start knocking on doors there. The second house we come to has black plastic bags on the windows and we decide they would not have picked up our cat. As we walk by the house, Ben stops. A car passed by and he says, "I think I heard something but that car passed by so I'm not sure." We call out Penelope's name and we hear something again. We ring the doorbell 5 times over and over again and hear Penelope freaking out crying and screaming at this point but we can't find her. The lady at the house finally decides to open the hood of her car and there is Penelope sitting on the engine, trapped. She was scared and filthy and when I picked her up off the hood, she melted into my arms. Needless to say, the cats are back with us in the ghetto.


2. The same night we are in bed asleep and all of a sudden we hear a loud knock on our neighbor's door. I look (more like squint since I am seriously blind without contacts) at the clock and it's 3:00 a.m. We continue to hear knocking and then voices. All of a sudden, there is a knock at our door. Ben gets up and goes to the door and says "Who is it?" The guy says "It's Brennan." Ben goes "Who is that?" And the guy responds "I'm Moe's friend." Ben says "You have the wrong apartment." and the guys goes away. Now, I watch a lot of A&E so I pretty much stay consumed with The First 48, Cold Case Files, American Justice, basically all those shows where people are living their everyday lives and then they are tragically murdered. So, of course, my first thought is "He wants to murder us!" The next day, I am talking to my friend, Amanda, and telling her about this and she says she thinks the guy was looking for a drug dealer. I think, wow, that's a good idea. Makes more sense then the whole murder plot. I tell Ben about this and he says that was what he thought the guy wanted. I guess I'm the only paranoid one.

3. I was standing outside with Eleanor, talking to one of my service providers for a client, when I see two detectives walk by and go three doors down. A couple of hours later, I see a cop in uniform go to the same guys house.

4. I meet my neighbor next door. He says his name is Mike but he goes by "coach." He says he is glad we are living in this apartment because he has had issues with drug dealers living in this apartment in the past year. He said he told management but they just told him to call the cops (so glad management is worried about their renters). This story also told me that the guy from 3:00 in the morning was, indeed, looking for drugs. Coach also told me that the guy at the end (where the cops frequented today) hates cats and has threatened to kill all the cats if they step foot on his porch. Oh yeah, and Coach told me this all while holding a 6 pack of Amstel Light and a gallon plastic jug of Vodka. I'm just saying.

5. The guy who lives in between "Coach" and the cat killer has skulls hanging from the tree in front of his apartment, above the door, and on the screen door.


6. The "Cat Killer" is apparently some old guy in a motorized wheelchair who likes to wheel and smoke at the same time. He will get that wheelchair going as fast as he can in order to get it up a very small hill next to the steps people with legs use in order to get to the parking lot. He will drag big branches and leaves under that motorized wheelchair as he goes up that hill and doesn't even care. When he goes down the hill, his wheelchair will kind of make a 180 degree turn. I don't really know why. I just know that is what I saw this afternoon.

7. I just saw a roach crawl across the floor.


We are in the process of getting our approval for a mortgage in Abilene. We found a house that we LOVE and hope to put an offer on it tomorrow. As of Saturday, I have a great job and will be moving back to Abilene end of March to start my job April 1. It is basically the same job I have now working with people with developmental disabilities. I am VERY excited about this agency and look forward to getting started. Ben will finish his last class April 29 so he will move out then. It's sad to think about my time here in GA as being over but on to a new chapter. And a new place to live...

The Great Debate: Slanket or Snuggie

I am always cold. My uncle LeRoy got sick of hearing me complain about how cold I was in his house so he did what any good uncle would do, he bought me a snuggie. Some prefer the slanket but I am all about the snuggie.

I think I look like a monk. You may call me Prior Holly.

So cold. But wait, I have a snuggie!

I love to read but it's just so dang dark in here. Good thing I have my free book light that comes with every snuggie purchase.

Beverly Hills Slums

Hello??? Is anyone out there? It has been so long since I posted last I wonder if anyone is still there. I have a good excuse for not posting. You see, we moved. That's right. We sold our house and had to move out end of January so this month was spent packing, locating and renting a short term apartment, moving boxes and furniture to a storage unit and moving everything that wouldn't fit into an apartment one could only describe as "groovy." All this + work (the kind where I am actually paid) = no time to blog.
Picture from our house. Penelope decided the pillow was, in fact, hers.

One last get together at the house. Our friends Amy, Seth, Letson and Laura came over to mourn/celebrate the last week in our wonderful home.


Fine, one serious one.

Eleanor will only be your friend if you have food in your lap.

Ok, here are picture of our new apartment. Don't judge us too hard. We are only white trash for three months.

Before

After

Before

After

Before


After

Before


After (Office/living room/kitchen all in one)

You have to step over the coffee table in order to get to the couch. And no, it's not an illusion. The chair is, indeed, sitting in front of the couch.

Before

After - Our refrigerator would not fit in the storage unit so it is sitting in our kitchen.


It might be hard to see but those spots on this linolium is not dirt, it's stained. Oh, and I also saw two roaches last night; one on the bathroom wall and another on the kitchen counter. EEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!


The apartment is gross but, we didn't have to pay a pet deposit and they gave us a short term lease without making it more expensive like every other apartment place wanted to. On our first night in the apartment the toilet overflowed when someone just went pee. Ben called the maintaince guy and after snaking the toilet, he found a toothbrush that had been flushed. It was so backed up, he had to go get us a brand new toilet. The cats are still living in the house (our closing date was pushed back) because they were obviously unhappy here. It's small and cramped and they would bolt out the door when it opened. They will have to come home tomorrow since we will close this Friday. Poor babies.

After a 3 month hiatus, Ben and I are back in boot camp. I decided it was time to go back when this conversation took place:
Holly: I am so fat.
Ben: You aren't fat. You're...healthy.

And then this conversation.
Holly: I have GOT to lose some weight.
Ben: Well... We BOTH could lose weight. (as if that makes it any better)

He's a Little Bit Country, She's a Little Bit...'Hood?

The older my mom gets, the funnier she gets. I have offically heard the funniest lines ever spoken by a 60-something year old W.A.S.P and they come from the mouth of my mother. If you know her, seen her, ever heard her voice you would understand why the following strikes me as funny.
1. Ben drove my mom's car by himself one time. My mom then uses the car and when she returns home she says to us: "Who ghetto styled my car?" I looked at Ben confused as to what she meant and Ben says "I leaned her seat back kind of far." Who would have thought she knew that car seats leaned way back is, in fact, pretty ghetto?

2. A couple of days ago, my mom left a message on our home answering machine. The message stated the following: (In thick Texas accent) "hey yaaa'lll. Just callin' to say hiiii! Just wanted to tawlk so when you get this message, holla at me." Ben looks at me, smiling, and says "Did she just say 'holla at me?'

I am not exactly sure where she is getting this but I have an idea. My mom goes to the prison every week where she volunteers with the chaplain and also has inmates she visits and will talk to for an hour a week and write to encourage them. The inmates are new Christians so she talks to them about God and other Bible related topics. But, they are still inmates so I think they are starting to rub off on her. That's my only explanation.

So, in short, my dad dresses like this.


And my mom speaks like a 20 year old black man

I must say, I love it.

Christmas in Pictures and the Return of a P.E. Coach

Ok, I know you are going to think I am out of my mind when I make my next statement but here goes: I think my 8th grade P.E. teacher is featured in Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover." Let me present my facts.
1. The picture. I know what you are thinking. "Holly, you were in 8th grade 15 years ago! Don't you think your teacher would look completely different now? Well, my answer is yes and, apparently no. If I remember correctly, this p.e. teacher was straight out of college so she was very young and would most likely look somewhat the same now. Also, I don't remember her last name but I know her first name was Suzanne and she was not married at the time so the last name would be different now anyway. I remember her first name because me and my friends made fun of her one time and she over heard us. She cried. We were in big trouble.
Exhibit A:


Exhibit B


Here you will see her name is Suzanne AND her job, PHYSICAL EDUCATION ASSISTANT. Also, she was right out of college when she was a coach at Franklin M.S. and her age listed in the book is 38. So, she would have been 23, 15 years ago which would make sense. Your honor, I rest my case. The witness is yours.

Does anyone out there know who I am talking about? Do you think this person is her?? If you can't see the picture very good go to your local bookstore, find the book, open to page 134 and see for yourself. Then, let me know your thoughts.


Moving on. We here at Macon Fun of the Grants are proud to announce that our beautiful and beloved house is currently under contract! Due to the state of the housing market, we put our house on the market 6 months before we need to move back to Texas and after 6 weeks the house sold (God willing). Full price! The guy who bought it is using a VA loan so the house still has to be appraised but we are very optimistic that it will appraise. We are closing January 30th so we are in the process of finding an apartment that will give us a short term lease, finding a storage unit and packing up the house. It is bittersweet because we love our house but we are so thankful that it sold in this market so quickly and at full asking price. GOD IS GOOD!

We had a wonderful Christmas. My in-laws, David and Cheri, came to spend the holiday with us and we had a fun, relaxing time. Here are some pictures to give you a better idea of how our days were spent. They were here from the 23rd to the 29th and it went by way to fast. I have the tendency to embarrass my loved ones with pictures on this very public forum so I will do my very best to not embarrass anyone...
Eleanor got into the Christmas spirit with her argyle sweater.

Since the weather in Georgia has been so hot, Ben thought the full Santa suit was a bit much for a "Southern Santa." I fixed that.

Some more Christmas cookies I made

I told Ben I hadn't eaten any of the Santa or candy cane cookies. Somehow, he new better. For some reason, this only happened to my teeth.

We worked on puzzles

Not a good idea to fall asleep while everyone else is awake.

Where's Waldo? Or in this case, Penelope.

Christmas morning. Santa comes to homes even when there aren't any kids around!

We have wonderful families who gave us a lot of great gifts. Eleanor, get your big butt out of the picture.

Eleanor begged David for everything on his plate. It might have something to do with him secretly dropping prime rib under the dining room table where Eleanor just so happened to be sitting.

All the cooks in the kitchen

One of the best meals ever! Prime rib, homemade sour cream mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus, Yorkshire pudding (the bread), salad and good wine. We were all in heaven!

The crew at dinner

LeRoy decided to make an appearance

The town we live in has one the larges aviation museums in the country. It was a lot of fun to see all the airplanes and memorabilia from past wars.

Behind every great woman, is a man who apparently needs a booster seat...

LeRoy and Ben. Freakin perverts.

We then went to Atlanta and visited the Georgia Aquarium. The aquarium is fascinating. All of the pictures of us were fuzzy so this is the least fuzzy. Thanks Cheri!

The day before David and Cheri left, we went to eat at a restaurant in Atlanta called "Bones." The next day was David's birthday so we did it up big! The restaurant was amazing. The Matre' d greeted David, wishing him a happy birthday. We had a private table and the best service.


The birthday boy

Ben and I at Bones

David and Cheri at Bones. David, you can't put the spoon down for just one picture?

All in all, a great time was had by all. I wish everyday was Christmas vacation.