Now Dip Baby Dip

UPDATE: Penelope pooped in the kitchen sink. She also pooped in our jacuzzi tub. I guess the bright side is that she isn't having diarrhea anymore.

Ben and I went to Wal-Mart today to buy soap and deo for our B.O. As we were walking to our car in the parking lot, Ben noticed an old convertible with the top down and a car seat in the back seat. It was a car seat for an older child and was facing forward. Ben says: "Ooohhh, that's safe. The poor kid probably has bugs in his teeth, a sunburn and a whacked out neck from being driven in high winds!" I died. Literally. I could not keep it together.

Last night, Ben and I went to a birthday party for our trainer, Shon. This training that we are a part of is basically 95% black people and 5% white people. I say this because it's important later on. So we go to the party and we are all standing around talking. No one wants to eat because we all work out together and our trainer is there so everyone is trying to be good. Ben and I, along with two other girls are the only white people there which is really no big deal until...the dreaded dance music starts and it was at this moment I felt utter panic and absolute disbelief that I might actually have to get out there and dance with a bunch of black people who are notoriously excellent dancers. I say dance music but I actually mean line dance music. Now, being from Texas, line dancing to me means Electic Slide, Alabama Struttin and the All Around Shuffle but this kind of line dancing is a little different. As you can probably guess, you need 1. rhythm and 2. a little sass. I don't really have either but this, unfortunately, has never really stopped me. **Cut to the John Peter Smith Hospital Annual Christmas party where my brother Paul and I were the only ones on the dance floor and we were doing the Cabbage Patch, The Hammer and the Dip or the butterfly. Whatever it's called.(It goes "Now dip baby dip!").** Back to the present birthday party. I try to think of a reason why we have to leave. A movie!! Yeah, that's it. I'll say we have to leave to catch a movie. But what movie? What's out? Crap, I'v got nothing! I quickly say to Ben "What's a movie that's out right now? Ben: "Umm, Nights in Rodanthe?" I consider this for a couple of seconds but then decide that is too over the top, even for me, so I drop the movie idea. Shon then says everyone has to at least do the first line dance called the Cubic Slide and Ben and I get called by name to join in. Ben and I get out there and give it our best. But then, everything becomes slow motion. I can read their minds and I know they are thinking "Wow, white people really CAN'T dance." I feel like I am letting my fellow Caucasions down as I shake my butt a little too hard, give a couple good snaps of my fingers and kick my leg in the air a split second behind everyone else. The music stopped and I was brought back to reality. And it was then that I realized I just line danced with all black people who are REALLY good dancers. What was I thinking? And if that wasn't painful enough, I did it again later that night...

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride and Other Stories about Diarrhea and Stuff...

So, you know the saying "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride"? Well, I think it would be safe to say after 4 nephews and 2 nieces "Always the aunt, never the mother". I don't say this out of jealousy of mothers or even out of pure desire for my own children, I say this simply for the fact that it's true. My brother and sister each have three children and I have 2 cats and 1 dog which count for something in my mind. Ben and I are just not ready for children at this time and I have a serious issue when it comes to kids. Ok, I know this is going to sound crazy but bear with me and then put yourself in my shoes. When I worked for Child Protective Services, I became (and still am) hyper-sensitive when it came to being around children. My life was consumed, due to my work, with kids making allegations (true and untrue) so I became very aware of not being alone with kids and making sure others were around when I changed a diaper or helped a nephew go to the bathroom. I never thought my nephews would ever say anything that was not true about me but when you deal with that type of thing all day every day you start to get paranoid. Now that I work with individuals with mental disabilities I have serious concerns about having a child with a disability. I mean, scared to the point I sometimes think having children is not even worth the risk. I know, I know what you are going to say; "Put this in God's hands" and I do. Really, I do. I know that He will do what is best for me and my family and that He has a purpose for everything but when you see the issues and all that goes into caring for someone with disabilities, it gets you thinking. I sound obsessive now but really I'm not. I just think about things and try to put myself in the position of others and I don't want a kid with a disability. That's what this rant is really all about. I don't want a kid with a disability... or one that will make false accusations about me. There. I said it. You all now know how crazy I really am and you know what, I can deal with that...Isn't that what a blog is really intended for? To put out there all your crazy thoughts and paranoias about life in general for all to see? No? Well, I already typed too much to delete so I guess I'll just leave it.

On to better topics. That cute little boy posted above is my new 2 day old nephew. William Gray Tidmore was born on September 17, 2008 to my sister Heather and my brother-in-law Taylor. I wish I could be there to welcome the little nugget but alas, I am 16 hours away and can only enjoy him through pictures. Welcome to the world Will and don't get too big until your favorite aunt and uncle see you!

Ben and I are right in the middle of boot camp. It feels good limping around the house due to getting my butt worked out to the point of pure exhaustion. We will be running the 5K Susan G. Komen race for the cure in October with our trainer. Cancer research of any kind is very close to my heart since my mother is an ovarian cancer survivor. Seeing her go through cancer treatment was a real life nightmare, one that turned my life upside down. Even though this is a run for breast cancer, I will be running for her. I just hope I don't come in last in the race by crawling across the finish line, or by getting piggy backed by some 60 year-old breast cancer survivor.


From Saturday to Wednesday, that's right, for 5 days straight Penelope has been diarrhea-ing (that's a mouthful) ALL OVER our house. The diarrhea is apparently jumping out and scaring her since she feels the need to run from it. And when I say run, I mean run from room to room to room... Literally. Penelope, while diarrhea-ing (seriously, a mouthful) runs through the house getting poop on the walls and carpet. She got poop on my nice dresser and the new runner my mother brought me back from St. Thomas a few weeks ago. We went through 2 1/2 bottles of Spot Shot trying to clean the carpet. I stepped in it a good 4 times and scrubbed the same wall about 3 times. One time I caught her running through the office where we were sitting and was able to grab her and hold her while she went all over the board under my desk. We then had to throw away our nice rug that was under our kitchen table because the diarrhea had seaped into the fabric and the little holes in the rug. She would go 2 to 3 times a day and even ran inside from the outside in order to diarrea on our carpet and walls. She went to the vet and he said this is actually pretty normal in kittens and gave her medication and food that is easy on the intestines and luckily for us (and her) she is no longer having diarrhea. I haven't had to clean the litter box in a couple of days and wondered if she was now constipated. Ben solved this mystery when he told me this morning that Penelope is indeed pooping because he just found a steaming pile of it in the corner by the kitchen...She's such a good addition to our family (seriously though, we do love her).

Penelope and Fitz playing on the bed. Penelope is about to get body slammed by Fitz and she totally deserves it. Penelope watching Eleanor eating dinner (that's the now defunct rug in the corner of the picture) Penelope sleeping. We have had to cover our nice leather chair because she has poked little holes in it. Do you see the Strawberry Shortcake sheets!?

6 Rando's About Me

Sam has tagged, nay, dared me to post 6 rando facts about me. I thought long and hard and had to narrow down my quirks for a short list of 6 but I think I finally came up with some good random things about me, Holly Leanne Watts-Grant...

And now, in no particular order:
1. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I moved from Abilene to Ft. Worth and told my parents I would never move back. I also told them I would never marry a guy from ACU and I would NEVER marry a Gamma Sig (my brother and brother in law are both Gamma Sigs and I knew many of these guys and thought they were all so dull and conservative). As you have read in previous posts I loved long haired hippies who worked in vintage clothing stores and who said things like, "I attended 15 different high schools in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area because I was kicked out of all of them for smoking pot, fighting and just generally being a douche bag so when I say I graduated from Dallas Christian I mean I really only graduated from there and attended maybe 2 weeks total." Ahhh, the memories...Ok, where was I? So, I made all of these statements about how I "would never" and now I am married to an ACU graduate who was also a Gamma Sig. Not just a Gamma Sig, but an OFFICER in Gamma Sig (BTW, I was wrong about Gamma Sigs, they are actually good guys). Oh yeah, and Ben just accepted an offer to join a law firm in Abilene after he graduates so we will be moving back to Abilene this summer and I am actually excited about this fact! I guess the random fact is that I ate my words in a major way...



2. I can't swallow a pill if my life depended on it. Now, I am very healthy and don't take any pills except for Zyrtec (Taylor, I swear I take it every night regardless of what Ben tells you) so I don't really run into this problem but I started taking vitamns and they are these HUGE horse pills! I literally went through TWO water bottles trying to swallow ONE pill and never actually got it swallowed. Ben thinks I am crazy as he sits next to me and swallows 10 pills at once with no problem. I have always said I have a weird throat and I think this is just proof of my claim. Random fact #2: I can't swallow pills due to my weird throat.



3. I freakin love Quizno's Sonoma Turkey Sammies. I would eat them every day if I weren't so embarrassed about the number of times I frequent the place anyway. I have actually tried to go incognito by wearing my sunglasses while ordering. It didn't work, they knew it was me. One time, I ordered two Sonoma Turkey Sammies with a side of a Sonoma Turkey Sammie.


4. Ben and I do not have human children so one would think I got a full nights rest and woke up refreshed and excited to start the day dedicated to my wants and needs only. The truth is that I have not gotten a full nights rest in, ooohh, 3 years I would say. Eleanor is 3 years old if you are wondering where I got that number. Eleanor can and does hold her bladder for up to 7 or 8 hours sometimes due to Ben and myself being away from the house yet, when it's the middle of the night, she HAS to go to the bathroom after just going 4 hours earlier. Also, she will only go outside if we turn the porch light on which, of course, wakes me up even more. Eleanor sleeps next to me in bed so I am the one who feels when she gets up. I will hand her to Ben sometimes to take but most of the time I figure I am already awake so I might as well take her. Now we have the new kitty Penelope who wakes me up every night at about 4:00 a.m. by trying to nurse on my face. Random fact #3: My animal childen are out of control and I hope this isn't a testament to my future human children.



5.When I was kid, I loved old sit-coms. Actually, I still do. One of my favorite shows was Dennis the Menace. I thought the mother was so pretty and I noticed one day in the credits that her real name was Gloria. I then loved this name and said I was going to name my children Gloria, Madonna and Maxine. Not sure where Maxine came from but I loved it all the same. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is one of the many reasons children should not be having children. If I had gotten pregnant and had a kid when I was 8 years old, the poor kid would of had to live with the name Madonna Watts, Gloria Watts or Maxine Watts. Wow... (I'll go ahead and apologize now to any Gloria's, Madonna's or Maxine's who may have been offended by this random fact).


6. And finally my 6th rando fact. I love these cookies called Murray's. They are sugar free and are made with Splenda. I refer to these cookie as my golden nugget because they were such a good find since I stay away from sugar as much as possible. Ben thinks they are nasty but I told him he just doesn't know how to eat them. It takes me approximately 8 bites to finish a cookie the size of an Oreo and I'm telling you, the taste is different then if you were to put the whole cookie in your mouth. The cookie is like an Oreo in that it has the two crackers with the cream in the middle. First, I bite the bottom cracker on the top and then on the side. I then bite the top cracker to match the bottom (4 bites). I then bite the other side on the bottom and then the side on the top (2 bites). And finally, I take one bite of the whole cookie and then finish off the cookie with one final bite (8 bites total). I also do the same thing with Fat Free Cheez-Its. Try it, I swear it changes the taste of the food and makes an already good snack that much better!



Ok, do I dare tag anyone? Will you hate me for tagging you? Sorry, got to do it and you better post about this topic. I personally like being tagged because I don't have to think of a topic so get over it if you don't like being tagged for this stuff: Taylor, Heather W. and Meredith, do it or die.

The Most Random Post in the Entire World

I couldn't think of anything to post so I will just post some random thoughts.

1. I have seen one chick flick since Ben returned and it's Definitely/Maybe. I think definitely maybe this movie kind of sucked.

2. There are some beauty shops in Macon and Warner Robins Georgia that have some very interesting names. Which one do you like the best?
Shhhh....It's a Wig
Bobbin' and Weavin
Ain't Nuthin but a Hair Thang

3. Ben and I went to the grocery store on Monday in my Blazer. The back of the car has the rear hatch that swings up and down when you open and close it. I thought Ben was out of the way so I put most of my weight into closing the door when all of a sudden I hear "BONG." I look over and see Ben, with his hands full of groceries, ducked backwards and almost fell from the impact. I had pulled the rear hatch down and the edge caught him right on the head. Ben has this thing with being hit in the head and he thinks that is the most embarrassing thing that could happen to anyone. I was like "Are you ok!!???? Oh my gosh!!!??" And all Ben could say was "Be quite and go in the house!" It hurt him but he wasn't mad and said it really wasn't that bad. I felt terrible but for some reason I couldn't stop laughing!! I really didn't think the act of hitting him in the head was funny, I really felt terrible but for some reason I couldn't stop giggling. I think it has something to do with my sick sense of humor when someone falls. Hurt=Funny...

4. If you click on the right side of the blog on Taylor and Heather, you will find Taylor's latest post about how his patients think he isn't old enough to be a doctor and how he has dealt with this his entire adult life (braces in college weren't helping the situation but that's a different story). Loyal reader Heather S. and my loyal reader/sister Heather T. have provided a picture that proves Taylor hasn't always looked young his adult life.