Now Dip Baby Dip

UPDATE: Penelope pooped in the kitchen sink. She also pooped in our jacuzzi tub. I guess the bright side is that she isn't having diarrhea anymore.

Ben and I went to Wal-Mart today to buy soap and deo for our B.O. As we were walking to our car in the parking lot, Ben noticed an old convertible with the top down and a car seat in the back seat. It was a car seat for an older child and was facing forward. Ben says: "Ooohhh, that's safe. The poor kid probably has bugs in his teeth, a sunburn and a whacked out neck from being driven in high winds!" I died. Literally. I could not keep it together.

Last night, Ben and I went to a birthday party for our trainer, Shon. This training that we are a part of is basically 95% black people and 5% white people. I say this because it's important later on. So we go to the party and we are all standing around talking. No one wants to eat because we all work out together and our trainer is there so everyone is trying to be good. Ben and I, along with two other girls are the only white people there which is really no big deal until...the dreaded dance music starts and it was at this moment I felt utter panic and absolute disbelief that I might actually have to get out there and dance with a bunch of black people who are notoriously excellent dancers. I say dance music but I actually mean line dance music. Now, being from Texas, line dancing to me means Electic Slide, Alabama Struttin and the All Around Shuffle but this kind of line dancing is a little different. As you can probably guess, you need 1. rhythm and 2. a little sass. I don't really have either but this, unfortunately, has never really stopped me. **Cut to the John Peter Smith Hospital Annual Christmas party where my brother Paul and I were the only ones on the dance floor and we were doing the Cabbage Patch, The Hammer and the Dip or the butterfly. Whatever it's called.(It goes "Now dip baby dip!").** Back to the present birthday party. I try to think of a reason why we have to leave. A movie!! Yeah, that's it. I'll say we have to leave to catch a movie. But what movie? What's out? Crap, I'v got nothing! I quickly say to Ben "What's a movie that's out right now? Ben: "Umm, Nights in Rodanthe?" I consider this for a couple of seconds but then decide that is too over the top, even for me, so I drop the movie idea. Shon then says everyone has to at least do the first line dance called the Cubic Slide and Ben and I get called by name to join in. Ben and I get out there and give it our best. But then, everything becomes slow motion. I can read their minds and I know they are thinking "Wow, white people really CAN'T dance." I feel like I am letting my fellow Caucasions down as I shake my butt a little too hard, give a couple good snaps of my fingers and kick my leg in the air a split second behind everyone else. The music stopped and I was brought back to reality. And it was then that I realized I just line danced with all black people who are REALLY good dancers. What was I thinking? And if that wasn't painful enough, I did it again later that night...