Longest Post EVER. Give it a Chance. You'll Like It.

I have had blog block. I have strained my brain to come up with something to talk about and there is just nothing there. My head is a big ball, sitting on my neck, and there is just not much going on up there. Wait. Did I just insult myself?

One of my clients, James, is in the hospital on a breathing tube and is not doing well. He is known to steal food and then cram it in his mouth and then swallow without actually chewing. This is actually a common problem amongst people with disabilties. I am not sure why but you have to really watch them and lock up the food at their homes. Anyway, James somehow stole a peanut butter sandwich in the cafeteria at the workshop he works at, went into the bathroom and ate it without swallowing. He came out of the bathroom, gagging and coughing and then collapsed. He has not breathed on his own since then. I am a social worker and this is a business where you obviously work closely with people who are in need in one way or another. I love my profession. I truly love working with indiviual's who are developmentally disabled but it does come with a price. One, is that you get attached to the people you work with. You become meshed in their lives and they depend on you to ensure they are safe and taken care of. I see my clients more then I see my own family and I am in their business more then I am my own friends. They depend on me more then anyone else does in my current world. It's difficult to see one hooked up to a breathing machine, dying. But saying that, the other price you pay working so closely to people in need is that you start to feel nothing. I worked for Child Protective Services for almost 3 years and still, when people say to me "I don't know how you could work there. I would want to bring all the children home with me" I think "Not me!!" Sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect to an infant child has no emotional effect on me. Zero. And even as hard as it is to SEE James in the hospital, I don't really FEEL anything. At CPS, we would always say "We laugh so we don't cry." We would laugh about the most grim details of an abuse case. Even yesterday I was cracking jokes about James needing full physical support on a support scale we do for our clients (it determines how much money they receive) and how staff would tell me he really is no problem to them what-so-ever (you know, since he is lying in a hospital room in a coma) Get it? I think if we were to actually feel something when dealing with these types of issues we wouldn't last long in the business. Anyway, that is my "deep thought" for the day.
My long time friend, Jacy, sent me an email where you have to list things about yourself. I decided to put the list here.
1. What time did you get up this morning
8:00 a.m.
2. Diamonds or pearls?
diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Body of Lies. Helloooo, Leo DiCaprio. Could you be any sexier?

4. What is your favorite TV show?
The Office. and of course, Golden Girls.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Cracklin Oat Bran and a cup of coffee

6. What is your middle name?
Leanne. I think according to the state of Georgia my middle name is actually Watts!

7. What food do you dislike?
Liver. My mom used to make liver and sweet potatoes every day (at least that's how I remember it). I also HATE viatnamese food much to my father-in-law's dismay.

8. What is your favorite CD at moment?
John Mayer-Where the Light is...Live in L.A.

9. What kind of car do you drive?
Chevy Blazer. When we move and Ben has a job I want to get a Nissan Murano.

10. Favorite sandwich?
Peanut Butter and Tupelo Honey

11. What characteristic do you despise?
People who are judgemental of people who are different then them.

12. Favorite item of clothing?
Jeans. I would wear jeans everyday if I could. Except when I gain weight and they get tight. Then they really suck.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would
you go?
Greece. Umm, hello nude beaches anyone? Yeah, me neither.

14. Favorite brand of clothing?
J.Crew all the way

15. Where would you retire to?
Florida. The Villages retirement place. That is where Ben will be so I will be there with him! Golf course, ceramics, bingo, water aerobics...

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
My 29th I guess. It was a sad one because I am very close (too close) to having to say "I am thirty(fill in the blank with a number). Yeah, I'm one of those people.

17. Favorite sport to watch?
Easy one. Anyone who reads this blog knows this. MEN'S SWIMMING!!!

20. When is your birthday?
August 2, 1979

21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Kind of both. I have been making an effort to get up early but I don't go to bed until after midnight. I could sleep in or get up early. I could go to bed early or late. Basically, I am both and that makes me perfect.

22. What is your shoe size?
It used to be 10 but lately it's been 9 1/2. Am I shrinking?

23. Pets?
Chihuahua-Eleanor, 6-toed cat-Fitzgerald, Cat from the Hood-Penelope

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
I haven't pooped in three days...YEAH!!!!

25. What did you want to be when you were little?
Honestly, at one time I said I wanted to be a maid. I dreamed big back then...

26. How are you today?
I am excellent. And yourself?

27. What is your favorite candy?
Heath bar

28. What is your favorite flower?
Pansies in my flower beds. Tulips in vases

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Christmas!! I freakin LOVE Christmas!! And my in laws are coming for a week over Christmas so that makes it even better.

30. What is your full name?
Holly Leanne Watts Grant

31. What are you listening to right now?
The rain

32. What was the last thing you ate?
salad for dinner last night.

33. Do you wish on stars?
Not since I was 15.

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Black. I would be very slimming and would go with anything.

35. How is the weather right now?
Awesome. It's raining and I love the rain.

36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?
No one yet but give it some time. My phone rings all day during the week because of work.

37. Favorite soft drink?
Coke but I drink Diet Coke.

38. Favorite restaurant?
Quiznos. I'm a high class girl.

39. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Barbies.

40. Summer or winter?
Summer. I want it to be cold around the holidays though.

41. Hugs or kisses?
This question is sooo cheesy. Hugs from clients and anyone who is not my husband or my nieces and nephews. Kisses from Ben or said nieces or nephews (no tongue from the kids thank you very much). Neither from strangers, creepy men or over anxious lesbians.

42. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate

43. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

45. When was the last time you cried?
This question weirds me out because everytime I see one of these things people always put "today" or "last night." Why are people crying so much??? I don't even know the last time I cried. Probably one year ago when my grandmother died.

46. What is under your bed?
Nothing. Maybe a lost cat toy.

47. What did you do last night?
Watched My Name is Earl, Kath and Kim, The Office, 30 Rock and Celebrity Rehab. Thursdays are a t.v. night and no one better interupt.

48. What are you afraid of?
Being sterile. Ben being sterile. Being murdered. I watch a lot of cold case files and American Justice. It gets my imagination working in overtime.

49. Salty or sweet?
Sweet. Give me dessert over anything.

51. Favorite sound?
Opening theme song to Golden Girls "Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again..."

52. Favorite day of the week?
Friday at about 6:00 p.m.

53. How many towns have you lived in?
5, I think.

54. Do you make friends easily?
Yes but I can be picky. I mean, I do have a 6 month waiting list so I have to weed out the weak and un-funny. Seriously though, I love people and being social but sometimes people get on my nerves. If someone doesn't have a sense of humor, I just don't have time to sit around being bored with you. Is that mean? Don't hate. Like you aren't thinking the same thing about your friends choice.

A Few Stories on Life (or Sexdrive, Waffle House and that Biyotch D. Brown)

Life has been extremely busy lately. Our house is officially on the market as of Friday. We hate having to attempt a sell in this market but we have no choice. We are putting the house on the market in November to, hopefully, have it sold by May. SAD! You can see pictures of the house at goldenkeyrealty.net, click on "Our Agents" and then click on "Janice Stefanski." Scroll down the page to her listings and click on "108 Cello Lane."
I went to Mentone Alabama to meet my mother and her friends who were staying in a cabin for the week. We had a great time relaxing and enjoying the beautiful fall weather. Mentone is a gorgeous town and it was great to see my mom.
Here are some funny (at least to Ben and me) things that have happened over the last couple of weeks. If these stories don't translate well, sorry in advance.

Ben and I were at the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie "Body of Lies" with our friends Tucker and Erika. There were three older couples, in their mid-60's, sitting a few rows in front of us and to the left. The movie had not started yet and everyone was sitting around talking. One of the older gentlemen walk into the theater and sits down with this group. He has a bag of popcorn in his hands and he turns around and says to the group, "I walked into the wrong theater. I was sitting there watching some movie called Sexdrive." This is funny to me for three obvious reasons. One, could an old man not accidently walk into a more perfect/funny name for a movie!? Two, how do you sit in a movie like Sexdrive and not realize you are not watching a gritty terrorist movie like Body of Lies? And three, did he not notice the fact that he didn't know anyone else in the theater even though, when he walked out of Body of Lies, he was sitting with 5 other people he obviously knew? I picture him walking into Sexdrive, not see his group and thinking "screw 'em, I've got the popcorn and I'm gonna sit right here."

Ben and I were eating brunch at the Waffle House which, as white trash as this may be, we really love the Waffle House. Our waitress's teeth were so dirty and infected with disease, Ben could barely get his hash browns down. The funny part is that these two wiggers walked in, sat at the counter and as they looked over the menu one says to the other "I ain't gonna eat. I'm just here to get my draaank on."

Ben and I were going through the drive through at Taco Bell. The worker comes on the speaker and says "Hello, welcome to Taco Bell. Are you ready to order?" Ben says "Hold on just a second." The worker says "Sure. Just say 'Taco' when you are ready." We look at each other and I say "Did he just say "say Taco" when you are ready?" We laugh and I tell Ben he has to say it and Ben agrees. When we are ready, Ben says "Taco!" We then get to the window, he gives us our order (which was right for the first time ever at that place) and when the transaction ended he says "Have a taco of a night!" Which we responded "Thanks, we will!" And we did.

When I was a kid and I would see a dirty car, the cool thing to write on the back window is "Wash Me." Right? Well, times have apparently changed. Ben and I were driving down the road and we look over at a dirty car and some kid has written on the dirty back window "D. Brown is da man, biyotch." Times, they are a changin...