Longest Post EVER. Give it a Chance. You'll Like It.

I have had blog block. I have strained my brain to come up with something to talk about and there is just nothing there. My head is a big ball, sitting on my neck, and there is just not much going on up there. Wait. Did I just insult myself?

One of my clients, James, is in the hospital on a breathing tube and is not doing well. He is known to steal food and then cram it in his mouth and then swallow without actually chewing. This is actually a common problem amongst people with disabilties. I am not sure why but you have to really watch them and lock up the food at their homes. Anyway, James somehow stole a peanut butter sandwich in the cafeteria at the workshop he works at, went into the bathroom and ate it without swallowing. He came out of the bathroom, gagging and coughing and then collapsed. He has not breathed on his own since then. I am a social worker and this is a business where you obviously work closely with people who are in need in one way or another. I love my profession. I truly love working with indiviual's who are developmentally disabled but it does come with a price. One, is that you get attached to the people you work with. You become meshed in their lives and they depend on you to ensure they are safe and taken care of. I see my clients more then I see my own family and I am in their business more then I am my own friends. They depend on me more then anyone else does in my current world. It's difficult to see one hooked up to a breathing machine, dying. But saying that, the other price you pay working so closely to people in need is that you start to feel nothing. I worked for Child Protective Services for almost 3 years and still, when people say to me "I don't know how you could work there. I would want to bring all the children home with me" I think "Not me!!" Sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect to an infant child has no emotional effect on me. Zero. And even as hard as it is to SEE James in the hospital, I don't really FEEL anything. At CPS, we would always say "We laugh so we don't cry." We would laugh about the most grim details of an abuse case. Even yesterday I was cracking jokes about James needing full physical support on a support scale we do for our clients (it determines how much money they receive) and how staff would tell me he really is no problem to them what-so-ever (you know, since he is lying in a hospital room in a coma) Get it? I think if we were to actually feel something when dealing with these types of issues we wouldn't last long in the business. Anyway, that is my "deep thought" for the day.
My long time friend, Jacy, sent me an email where you have to list things about yourself. I decided to put the list here.
1. What time did you get up this morning
8:00 a.m.
2. Diamonds or pearls?
diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Body of Lies. Helloooo, Leo DiCaprio. Could you be any sexier?

4. What is your favorite TV show?
The Office. and of course, Golden Girls.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Cracklin Oat Bran and a cup of coffee

6. What is your middle name?
Leanne. I think according to the state of Georgia my middle name is actually Watts!

7. What food do you dislike?
Liver. My mom used to make liver and sweet potatoes every day (at least that's how I remember it). I also HATE viatnamese food much to my father-in-law's dismay.

8. What is your favorite CD at moment?
John Mayer-Where the Light is...Live in L.A.

9. What kind of car do you drive?
Chevy Blazer. When we move and Ben has a job I want to get a Nissan Murano.

10. Favorite sandwich?
Peanut Butter and Tupelo Honey

11. What characteristic do you despise?
People who are judgemental of people who are different then them.

12. Favorite item of clothing?
Jeans. I would wear jeans everyday if I could. Except when I gain weight and they get tight. Then they really suck.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would
you go?
Greece. Umm, hello nude beaches anyone? Yeah, me neither.

14. Favorite brand of clothing?
J.Crew all the way

15. Where would you retire to?
Florida. The Villages retirement place. That is where Ben will be so I will be there with him! Golf course, ceramics, bingo, water aerobics...

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
My 29th I guess. It was a sad one because I am very close (too close) to having to say "I am thirty(fill in the blank with a number). Yeah, I'm one of those people.

17. Favorite sport to watch?
Easy one. Anyone who reads this blog knows this. MEN'S SWIMMING!!!

20. When is your birthday?
August 2, 1979

21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Kind of both. I have been making an effort to get up early but I don't go to bed until after midnight. I could sleep in or get up early. I could go to bed early or late. Basically, I am both and that makes me perfect.

22. What is your shoe size?
It used to be 10 but lately it's been 9 1/2. Am I shrinking?

23. Pets?
Chihuahua-Eleanor, 6-toed cat-Fitzgerald, Cat from the Hood-Penelope

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
I haven't pooped in three days...YEAH!!!!

25. What did you want to be when you were little?
Honestly, at one time I said I wanted to be a maid. I dreamed big back then...

26. How are you today?
I am excellent. And yourself?

27. What is your favorite candy?
Heath bar

28. What is your favorite flower?
Pansies in my flower beds. Tulips in vases

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Christmas!! I freakin LOVE Christmas!! And my in laws are coming for a week over Christmas so that makes it even better.

30. What is your full name?
Holly Leanne Watts Grant

31. What are you listening to right now?
The rain

32. What was the last thing you ate?
salad for dinner last night.

33. Do you wish on stars?
Not since I was 15.

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Black. I would be very slimming and would go with anything.

35. How is the weather right now?
Awesome. It's raining and I love the rain.

36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?
No one yet but give it some time. My phone rings all day during the week because of work.

37. Favorite soft drink?
Coke but I drink Diet Coke.

38. Favorite restaurant?
Quiznos. I'm a high class girl.

39. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Barbies.

40. Summer or winter?
Summer. I want it to be cold around the holidays though.

41. Hugs or kisses?
This question is sooo cheesy. Hugs from clients and anyone who is not my husband or my nieces and nephews. Kisses from Ben or said nieces or nephews (no tongue from the kids thank you very much). Neither from strangers, creepy men or over anxious lesbians.

42. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate

43. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

45. When was the last time you cried?
This question weirds me out because everytime I see one of these things people always put "today" or "last night." Why are people crying so much??? I don't even know the last time I cried. Probably one year ago when my grandmother died.

46. What is under your bed?
Nothing. Maybe a lost cat toy.

47. What did you do last night?
Watched My Name is Earl, Kath and Kim, The Office, 30 Rock and Celebrity Rehab. Thursdays are a t.v. night and no one better interupt.

48. What are you afraid of?
Being sterile. Ben being sterile. Being murdered. I watch a lot of cold case files and American Justice. It gets my imagination working in overtime.

49. Salty or sweet?
Sweet. Give me dessert over anything.

51. Favorite sound?
Opening theme song to Golden Girls "Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again..."

52. Favorite day of the week?
Friday at about 6:00 p.m.

53. How many towns have you lived in?
5, I think.

54. Do you make friends easily?
Yes but I can be picky. I mean, I do have a 6 month waiting list so I have to weed out the weak and un-funny. Seriously though, I love people and being social but sometimes people get on my nerves. If someone doesn't have a sense of humor, I just don't have time to sit around being bored with you. Is that mean? Don't hate. Like you aren't thinking the same thing about your friends choice.