X-Rated Petting Zoo **Parental and Prudish Discretion Advised**

So, this weekend Ben, my uncle LeRoy and myself went to the Mossy Creek Festival in Perry, GA. Mossy Creek comes to the area twice a year and I have always wanted to go but it's rained every year we've lived in Georgia so I have never been able to go. Mossy Creek is basically a bunch of vendors from Florida, Georgia and Tennessee who come to sell their crafts. We ate good food, I bought some cool stuff and the weather was overcast and cool so all in all, it was turning out to be a pretty good day. Well, Ben and LeRoy decided they were going to eat this greasy, orange substance the Rotary Club was calling BBQ and I said I was going to wait and weigh my options once I see everything there is to eat. LeRoy ate quickly so while Ben savored his "meat" we said we were going to walk over to the petting zoo and he can join us once he was finished. At the petting zoo, there is a fence keeping all the animals in and the adults were lined up along the fence while the kids were inside the fence petting the animals. It was actually a pretty weak petting zoo. They had two Shetland ponies, a few goats, chickens, bunnies and labrador puppies (weird). Right below LeRoy and me was one of those plastic kiddie pools full of bunnies. We started laughing because over 1/2 of them were "doing the nasty." They were seriously going at it and I was a little weirded out because kids were putting their hands in the tub to pet them. At this point, Ben came over and we pointed to the rabbits which he thought was pretty funny, and a little creepy, what with all the kids around. So then I saw one of the workers pick up one of the two Shetland ponies and I pointed at it. Here is how the conversation followed:
Holly: "Awww, look at that pony!" (first pony being held by the worker)
Ben: "Look!!" (unbeknownst to me, Ben was referring to the second pony)
Holly: "I know, isn't it so cute?" (first pony)
Ben: "Do you see that?" (second pony)
Holly: "I know, she's really cute!" (first pony)
LeRoy: "You don't see that?" (again, the second pony)
Holly: "What are you talking about?"
LeRoy: "Look at it hanging all the way down to the ground!"
Ben and LeRoy: Uncontrollable Laughter
Holly: "A few choice words and "SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I had never seen anything so gross and HUGE in my life!! I tried to mentally measure it and I swear it was over a foot long! And, to make matters worse, there were three kids standing next to it just petting away! I felt like I was being punk'd. It would be a pretty good premise you have to admit: children's petting zoo with extremely hormonal rabbits and ponies. I must admit though, as we left to give the animals their much needed privacy, all I could think was, "I wish I had my camera, this would be great for my blog!"

So sweet, yet so perverted. Who knew?This is "Janet, Ms. Jackson if your nasty..."

And the Award for "Most Un-Photogenic Dog" goes to...

As many of my readers might know, there is an annual contest for the ugliest dog in America. The dog on the left, Sam, was the winner for 2003, 2004, and 2005 until his untimely death in November of 2005. Since his departure, the competitive world of "Ugliest Dog" has yet to find a reigning champ with the same charisma, charm and disgusting rat tail. Though we don't feel we have found the next Sam, we do think we have a strong competitor for "The World's Most Un-Photogenic Dog."

See our submissions below. Eleanor has a difficult time keeping her eyes open when being photographed.

Could have been really cute.

Tried again. Nope...

Decent effort yet no progress.

Gave a nice pose but just couldn't bring it home.

You've got to be kidding.

After 20 tries and several treats later, it all finally comes together.

Revenge of the Nerds Part 1

I am sure all of my readers went through a "nerd phase" at some point in their life. Some people's phases might last a couple of years, while others might still be weeding their way through. This post is the first in a series I shall title "Revenge of the Nerds." I have decided to put myself and poor Ben out there first before I post the pictures of friends and family. I must warn you that I have a picture album sitting by my desk with pictures from elementary through high school and I'm not afraid to use them...

Here is Ben in the bluebonnet fields on the side of a highway. Every child growing up in Texas has had their picture taken in bluebonnet fields. It's a right of passage if you will. I have to say the bluebonnet picture is cheesy all by itself but add Ben's pasty skin, oversized glasses and greased back hair to the mix and you have one nerdy honkey.

Side part, greased down with L.A. Looks and one rockin' Bugle Boy shirt.

Band. Need I say more??

Third grade school picture. You could fit jelly beans in between each one of my teeth.

My shirt reads "I've Got Some Body." I know the shirt is actually referring to the hair product but still a little weird for an 8 year old to be wearing.

Being a foot taller then your peers will always make you a nerd, especially when said peers are 2 years older...

And now, because I am vain I can't leave you with these images. Here is a recent picture of Ben and I, post bluebonnet pastures.

Nashville, Anniversary, and Some Other Random Crap...

The last weekend in March, Ben and I went to Nashville to spend the weekend with my parents who were there for a computer conference. As some of you might know, I love a good computer conference t-shirt so Ben went into the Expo center with my dad to check out the loot and my mom and I went shopping. We stayed at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel and it was beautiful. We had a great time.

Me, Dad, Mom and Ben, in that order...

I think this is the worst picture I have ever taken. My eyes are squinty and I look like I have been awake for days. But, I post the good, the bad and the ugly of others so I have to do the same for me. It's only fair.

Mom and Dad

Playing Phase 10 in the hotel room. We pulled an ironing board in between the beds, pulled out the snacks and played a seriously heated game of cards. Dad put my fur blanket around his lap because he didn't think others would like to see his boxer shorts. We all agreed. Ben won every game which hacked my mom off. She said she wasn't playing cards anymore with Taylor (he cheats) and Ben (he wins too much).

Monday was our 2 year wedding anniversary so we went to dinner and then came back to our house for champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. Ben made them at my uncles house and I had no idea! He is the best husband ever and I love being married to such a wonderful man.

Ben's face in this picture makes me laugh every time I look at it!!

And now for the random crap. This is our jasmine in our backyard. It bloomed for Spring and looks beautiful. It also attracts bees. Big, yellow, scary bees.

Yet another rash. My leg was swollen and had HUGE welps all over it and I really did consider posting it. I actually downloaded it onto the post but then I was reminded how vain I really am. My leg looked like an old woman's leg and was swollen because of the welps. I looked fat and I just couldn't do it. I am ashamed and this is my confession, "My name is Holly Grant and I am one vain mo-fo."
This is the only leg post I could stomach

Ben and Fitz. Could this be any cuter!?


This is a video of this vine thing at Opryland. It's this girl, on stilts, wearing a vine costume and she moved really slow like a vine. Ben called her "his woman" because he thought she was really pretty. I think he was getting payback because one of my favorite shows on T.V. is on A&E called "The First 48." It's a documentary styled show about homicide detectives and I love watching the Miami detectives. There is one detective, Det. Rick Martinez, whom I often refer to as "My Cuban Lover." I get the Cuban, Ben gets the Vine. That sounds about right...