A Little Wine and A Lot of Ego...

So, I thought I would go ahead and post since I will be leaving for Texas on Friday for 10 days and I know all my loyal readers will be fiending for a new post. I am very excited to be going to Texas. I will get to see all of my family since they are all moving to Abilene, see my brother-in-law, Daniel, get married, throw a lingerie shower, tube down the Frio River (or just sit in my chair with a good book and an even better beer) and spend as much time as possible with my wonderful husband. Here are some pictures of what this trip just might look like if we are going by past events.

Time with family (I couldn't find a picture of everyone in my family but, you get the point)

Time with my awesome in-laws, David, a.k.a Anonymous and Cheri

Fireworks at the river in Leakey

Hanging out in the cabin at the river

Relaxing in the river (No, you're not imagining it. Eleanor really was pissed)

Imagine my future sister-in-law, Amanda, in the wedding dress and one of her bridesmaids in place of Amanda Musick. (Sorry Musick, out with the old in with the new)

Again, imagine Amanda holding up the lingerie.

I had to add this one. My mom gave me the raunchist piece of lingerie I have ever seen and she was telling the story about some woman in the store thinking she was buying it for herself!

My brother-in-law Daniel and the real Amanda.


So, as you all know I always have to add some random stories so here they go. Enjoy!

Last weekend my uncle LeRoy and I worked on my yard and then went antique shopping and out to lunch for the afternoon. LeRoy got to my house at 10:00 a.m. and we worked on the yard until about 11:00 a.m. when we finally left, in LeRoy's car, to go shopping. We returned at around 4:00 that afternoon and were both a little shocked when we saw my garage door open. Hmmm, we must have left that open after we put all the lawn stuff in there. Oops. So, we were talking about how glad we were everything was still in there and not stolen. At this point, I was searching through my purse for my keys and couldn't find them. Leroy said "I think I saw you lock the front door so you have to have them." Luckily (or unluckily) I had left the door from the garage that leads into the house unlocked so we didn't actually need the keys but I was still confused as to their whereabouts. When we walked in, I dumped my purse out and still didn't see them. At this point, I look at the front door and notice that it's NOT locked either! Leroy then points out that the back door was left open and unlocked as well!! I then remember that I had gotten into my car to get my umbrella before we left so I thought maybe I left the keys sitting on the seat. When I went out to my car, which was sitting in the garage, I see the car is unlocked with the keys in the ignition. So, to recap: I left my garage door open with the door leading into the house, from the garage unlocked. I also left my front door unlocked, my back door open and unlocked and my car unlocked with the keys in the ignition. And to make the story even more weird, nothing was stolen and no pervert was hiding in the bathroom behind the shower curtain (the place I know all rapists will be hiding should they choose to hide in my house).

Brief Intermission: If you have never read "The Kiterunner" or "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini go out and buy it, check it out in your local library or go to Barnes and Noble and stick it under your shirt and run. They are both beautiful stories of a culture we really know nothing about in a country we are currently at war with. Both books give the average Afghan citizen heart while not making excuses for their leaders. Go out and get these books and be ready to do nothing but read.

Next, has anyone ever been offended by not being a part of someones "Top 5?" Well I have been. I was looking at LeRoy's phone, searching for the calculator when I realized I was not in his "Top 5." "What the -?" I say. "Why aren't I in your Top 5??" He says, "Well....I don't know." He then searches though his phone book and finally come across my number. I said "What, you can't even put me on speed dial?!" Later that night, LeRoy says "Alright, I'll put you in the Top 5 but I have to take someone out." I told him to get rid of my 80 something year old great-aunt because, and I quote, "She's dead weight." A little wine and a lot of ego makes you say some crazy things...

An Historical Event Has Taken Place...Oh yeah, and Some Other Stuff about Beef, Chunky's and Inappropriate Dog Kisses

I would like to thank the following loyal readers for making my last post the highest commented post in the history of "Macon Fun of the Grants" with a total of 13 comments. If you read but did not post, shame on you.
So, a special "Holly Thanks" goes out to:
Annalee
Makinzie
Taylor
Ben
Amanda
Sam
David
Meredith
You should all take pride in being a part of such an historical event. Congrats to you all.

Today, I was driving by Chick-Fil-A in Macon and their sign read:
New: Leafy, Hot Beefy Salads.
Is it just me or do the words "hot" and Beefy," when combined together, not remind you of a fresh dog terd with smoke rising off it? I know, I know it's a gross image but now you know what has been going through my mind since I read this very disturbing discription of their new salads. Needless to say, I will not be eating a hot beefy salad from Chick-Fil-A any time soon.


Speaking of weird food, Ben decided a few months ago that he needed to try a Nestle "Chunky." For those of you who don't know what a "Chunky" entails, it is a candy bar with milk chocolate, peanuts and raisins. So gross! What freak came up with this combination? Ben ate a couple of bites and threw it out. You know it's gross if even Ben won't eat it.

So, I was looking through some pictures on my computer and came across a very disturbing realization: Eleanor licks me on the lips. A lot. And I have the pictures to prove it. I don't know which I find more upsetting, the fact that I allow my dog to lick me on the lips on a daily basis or the fact that I have so many pictures documenting this. My mom thinks it is disgusting and screams whenever she sees it. I don't think it's gross at all. In fact, I have even recruited my nephews and they let her do it also AND I have the pictures to prove that as well!

Extreme Close-up

Even while on the telephone...

No shame

Seriously, no shame

Eleanor is more into it then Nathan

Nathan is more into it then Eleanor

Ben giving her a taste of her own medicine

Pure exhileration. And just pure disturbing.


I had another realization a couple of weeks ago. I have been lazy on the weekends and haven't been making it to church and I told Ben not to tell my mother. He said he didn't but they are in "The Plastics" (if you don't know what I am talking about, please refer to a previous post entitled "Mean Girls, Stray Cats and Netflix Ques")together so you can never be certain but I digress...Well, I was talking to my mom on the phone on a Saturday night a couple of weeks ago and she said (in a thick east Texas accent) "I know you haven't been goin' to chuuurch. You better geet up tomorrow and gowww." And what did Holly do? Got up and went to church. I think I was even the first one in the building. So, what was my realization? I am almost 30 years old and live 16 hours away but I am still afraid of my mother.

Random Stories, Random Thoughts, and that Random Diane Lane

So, with Ben gone and our closest friends, Tucker and Erika, gone also (Tucker is in law school and working out of town) I don't have a lot going on that is really "blog worthy." I mean, don't get me wrong I stay really busy but nothing I think my blogging public would really want to read about. This being the case, I have decided to grace you with two stories I find funny but am not really sure they will translate through a blog. You can just leave me a comment and let me know.


Ok, for the first story. I was talking to Ben on the phone and we were talking about how, lately, when he gets to spend time with the family I am not there but when we go to West Palm Beach I will be with the family and he won't. We were laughing at the fact that we just can't seem to spend time with everyone together. So I said "When I'm in Palm Beach I am going to call you and laugh in your face." (**explanation: Basically, since Ben is in Texas and I am alone in Georgia, I am happy that I will finally be in the middle of everything and he will be alone. Does that sound mean? Oh well, get over it.**) Ben responds "Well I laugh in your face, behind your back, everyday. It doesn't make since but I still do it."


My uncle, LeRoy, and I were at a flea market called Smiley's last weekend. I have heard about Smiley's from a lot of people who said I had to go and experience what is "Smiley's" so I mentioned to LeRoy that I had never been and he suggested we go after we mow my lawn on Saturday. Let me tell you, this was the biggest square feet of pure crap that I have ever seen. We found a box full of markers that looked just like "Sharpies" (Registered trademark) and were saying what a good deal 99 cents was for 12 Sharpies when LeRoy took a closer look and said "Wait, what does that say?" Shoupies. That's right, they were not Sharpies, they were Shoupies. So, after being there for about an hour I said "I'm hungry." LeRoy looked down at his watch and I saw him tapping the face. He says, "See this watch? Look at what time it says. Now look." LeRoy proceeds to tap the face and show me the watch and everytime he shows it to me, there is a different time. I said "you need a new watch." LeRoy responded, "No I don't. It still works. When I turn the dial the hands still move so their not broken. And it still keeps the correct date. See, it says the 6th." I said, "Yeeeaaahhh, today's the 7th." **Silence** Leroy: "I need a new watch."

And now for some random thoughts:

Has anyone out there heard about this blog called "pioneer woman cooks" or something like that? Ok, I know some of my reading public reads it and some have even suggested I read it saying it is funny, sweet, blah, blah, blah. Can I just say this is one of the worst pieces I have ever read. It is cheesy, useless reading and I don't get why this lady, who posts recipes and pictures of a farm, has so many readers. I mean, I think my blog is waaaaay more interesting yet I get 3 comments, if I'm lucky, and half my friends, when asked, say they read my blog a month ago but forgot about it (Amanda). If I sound bitter, good. I meant to.

If anyone is interested in the state of my "Netflix Que: It's a Chick Flick kind of summer" here is an update on what I have watched and my often sought after critique:
Lars and the Real Girl: Loved it
P.S. I Love You: Stupid yet entertaining all at the same time
Catch and Release: Loved it
Under the Tuscan Sun: I have never seen a movie by Diane Lane and I think she is a terrible, unsexy actress. So, I wasn't really fond if this movie thanks to her. I'm going to just come out and say it. I don't like Diane Lane at all. There is really nothing redeemable about her to me. Really pretty movie though. Yeah, pretty movie.
Must Love Dogs: Again, the untalented and unsexy Diane Lane. Hated it.

I will be watching The Hours tonight which is one of my all-time favorite movies. If you haven't read the book/watched the movie/listened to the Phillip Glass soundtrack and are feeling like something is really missing in your life, then I bet this would solve that issue.

I love the two songs from the new Coldplay album that have been released. I have pre-ordered the album from iTunes and am really pumped to listen to it. Oh and in case you didn't know, Coldplay really rocks my world...I mean totally.

Does anyone out there watch Top Chef on Bravo? If so, don't you think Richard TOTALLY deserved to win? I also loved when Andrew ended one of the episodes with "I have a culinary boner right now." That made me laugh...Anyone else? No..?

Our friends, Jen and Hayden, are getting married this weekend in Austin and I wish I could be there enjoying it. I guess me and Diane Lane will just have to learn to get along.

Fitzgerald and Eleanor said to tell everyone "hello"

Revenge of the Nerds Part 2: Meredith Thomesen Ware

Alright, the time has come that everyone has been waiting for. We are on to part 2 of my Revenge of Nerds series and our featured player is Meredith Thomesen/Meredith Ware/Teredith Momesen/Megadeth/Daddy long legs/Mere Bear. I met Meredith in 1st grade at Taylor Elementary and we were instant friends. We never had the same teacher after 1st grade but remained best friends. We were always together and lived within walking distance of each other. I have a lot of good memories of our friendship and even though we haven't seen each other in years, I love her to death and she will always be in my "elite group" of lifelong friends. Ok, enough of the mushy stuff. Let's get down to the stories. I remember Meredith as being the only girl who was as tall as me, which I loved. She was really into tennis, had long skinny extremities and was always looking for ways to unfrizz her frizz. She was also hilarious which, to this day, is still a top priority I look for in friends. Here are some of my favorite stories of Meredith and me:
1. We would take her poor striped orange tabby, Dot (who would literally climb the wall using the wallpaper to hang onto), and dress him in doll clothes. We would then put him in a stroller and walk around the neighborhood thinking people actually believed we were walking a real baby.
2. We would close her mom and dad's bedroom door so Dot couldn't escape and play "Cat Olympics." We would, again, dress Dot up, put him in the same stroller and do a processional where he was announced before his event. What was his event, you might ask? Duh...gymnastics. This is where the closed door comes into play. We would flip this poor, poor cat to where he was doing double, sometimes triple flips and would land on the bed and RUN. The closed door ensured we could catch him for his next event.
3. Meredith was the QUEEN of throwing parties in middle school. I don't mean, "my parents are away for the weekend let's throw a party" party but more like "Let's throw a party solely for the sake of inviting boys" party. We would sit in her room and decide who to invite, plan our outfits for a week and then Meredith would actually follow through and have the party. Her parents were always really fun and cool so her house was a great place for this. I remember the evening before one of these parties, we were at her house and one of the invited boys (I won't say who so as not to embarrass him but if anyone out there knows, you are more then welcome to post his name) came to the door, rang the bell and we both came to the door. His parents were sitting in their coversion van outside and he thought the party was that night. He had his hair slicked down and parted and was dressed in nice clothes. Poor guy. And yes, we laughed after he left.
4. One night, Meredith, Kelly Strickland and I were spending the night with Meredith and her parents were out that night. We called radio stations and requested "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred. We then ordered pizza and when the delivery guy came, we were wearing bathing suits and told him our boyfriends were in the hottub which was located in the garage. (OK, I can hardly type I am laughing too hard remembering this one!)
5. Ok, I think this is one of my all time favorites. Friday nights during football season, we would always go to the Abilene High Football games. Now this was a HUGE deal which meant we had to plan this night all week. We would decide where we were going to spend the night, who's parents would be taking us, what we would wear and what we would be doing after the game. This particular night, we were spending the night at Meredith's house and we decided we weren't tan enough. We had planned our outfits which I think we were wearing out matching Espirit long sleeve, black button down shirts with printed pieces of gold jewelry all over it, jeans and black shoes so, since our arms and legs would not be showing we came up with a "Tan Plan." We went into Meredith and Heather's bathroom and found Heather's Clinique foundation. Heather was a tennis player and lifeguard so was always really tan so, of course, her foundation was darker then our skin at the time. We put this foundation on our faces, ears, neck (only the part that wasn't covered by our hair), and our hands. We were standing outside in the sun so we could make sure the other was completely covered in foundation when Heather must have realized half her base was missing. She came out and told us never to use her expensive makeup again and that we both look like idiots. After she left, we looked at each other and said "she's right, we look like idiots" and thankfully we had a enough sense to rinse if off. Heather, I thank you for pointing that out because had we gone to the game looking like that, we would have been humiliated!!!
Ok, this is getting really long so I will stop here. I have posted some really funny pictures of Meredith and I. I have a lot so I chose the best ones. It was a hard choice!

Cross-Eyed Meredith


This was our group of friends, some we were closer to then others. If you can't tell, Meredith and I are on the right end of the diving board.


This picture has always made me laugh. I am actually taking a picture of Sarah Stuteville but Meredith was apparently hopping, alone, in the background.


I thought she looked cute here!

Matching jean shirts...


Why are my pants sitting so high on my waist?


Poor Dot the Cat.


Thick bangs, frizzy hair.


Two Peas in a Pod.


Hoola Hoop


Enjoy but beware, I have many more pictures of childhood friends so you never know when your turn will come...