Deep Thoughts, By Jack Handey...

Ok, not deep thoughts but I love vintage SNL so, what I can say, I went with it. I have had serious writer's block lately so I decided I would just post some random thoughts about some pictures I was looking through.

Makinzie Conley (Makinzie Heard, she'll always be Conley to me) and I were in New York City our freshman year of high school on a choir trip. We were on this cruise that went around Manhattan and there was a German tour group on this cruise as well. On one row, there were two German men, Makinzie and then me. One of them asked Makinzie if I was Cindy Crawford and in true Kinzie fashion, she said "Why yes, she is Cindy Crawford." The man then hands her a business card and asked if he could have my autograph. Makinzie hands me the business card and, through clinched teeth, mutters "They think you're Cindy Crawford. Sign it Cindy Crawford." I wasn't really sure what was going on but I liked what I had heard so I played along. As the night wore on, I was getting my picture taken with these tourists, the rest of the choir kids were playing along and I even overheard one German taking a video of me and saying into the microphone of his camcorder, "Deees ees Cindy Crrrawford and arrrround her are the crrrrazy Amereecans." Now, I tell this story because, at the time, I thought, yeah I could totally pass for Cindy Crawford but 13 years later I look at the below picture and I can't help but wonder what and how many pills these Germans must have been on...



Fast Forward one year. Makinzie and I took this picture for a friend of ours. I don't remember the circumstances behind it, who took the picture and why we were trying to look so serious and yet so sexy all at the same time. Ben once asked me, "ya'll took this picture as a joke right??" I had to admit that no, we were serious as a heartattack while taking this picture. High school kids take themselves so serious sometimes and when that high school kid grows up into a self-depricating 28 year old woman, she pays the price by this piece of embarrassment. Unfortunately, Kinzie pays for it also...



Last fall, I signed up to help serve at a dinner and auction fundraiser for the private school that shares a building with our church. After I agreed to help, I was told we had to wear "uniforms." I knew before I even heard what the uniform was that I was going to regret signing up for this and I was right: black pants, black shoes, white button down shirt and...a tie. I am serious when I say I told Ben the night of the dinner that I was dropping out because of this whole tie business! Ben thought I should wear a "baby tie" because it's more "feminine." He proceeded to tie the baby tie to prove his point. I know it sounds like he was just trying to be helpful but that really was not the case. He just wanted to see me squirm in this baby tie and then take my picture for his own enjoyment. Oh, who am I kidding, I thought it was hilarious. For some reason, I felt very trendy yet very lesbian. FYI-I did not drop out but I waited until the last minute to put on the tie and no, I didn't wear the baby tie.



Last fall we went to South Georgia with our friends Letson and Laura. Letson is the youth minister at our church and he was taking a few kids camping so Ben, Eleanor and I tagged along. We were at this state park, walking around when we saw this sign posted by some water which begs the question, what kind of perverts actually live in South Georgia?"



Same trip as above. Letson, Laura, Ben and I were trying to take a picture when this high school kid thought it would be funny to jump into the picture. Kids between the ages of 12 to about 18 annoy the crap out of me...