A Christmas Picture only a Mother Could Love...

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE GRANTS!

It's a Family Feud kind of Christmas

I hope everyone is having a fun holiday so far. I love Christmas and get very excited about Christmas. These are some labor intensive cookies I made. I think it took me about two days to make the dough, cut them out, make the icing, put in the different colors of food coloring and then actually make them. Totally. Worth it.


My friend Jacy sent me this in an email so I thought I would make it into a post since it's pretty entertaining. Ok, these are Family Feud questions. If you need an idea to post on your blog then you can take this but you have to answer them with the first thing that comes to your mind and you can't use my answers.

1. Name something you use in the shower? Razor

2. Name something a football player wears under his uniform? cup

3. Name something people hate to find on their windshield? bird crap

4. What is something a man might buy before a date? condoms

5. What is another word for blemish? pimple

6. Something you cook in the microwave? popcorn

7. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving? piano

8. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman? She's lonely and easy

9. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner? drag its butt across the floor

10. Name a kind of test you cannot study for? drug test

11. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for? camping

12. Name a phrase with the word home in it: "Don't be such a home-o-phobe."

13. Name a sport where players loose teeth: hockey

14. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a student's day? show up for class

15. What is a way you can tell someone has been crying? runny nose

16. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat? vulture

17. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it? crotchless panties

18. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it? lipstick

This is a clip of my all time favorite Family Feud episode. It is actually called Family Fortunes in Great Britain (England, France, where ever it is) and this guy is the best contestant ever! Watch one of his family members face when it pans to them after he is finished. The guy looks like he wants to kill him!! You tube is sucking lately so you might need to press play, then pause it and let it run all the way and then watch it. It's worth it, I promise.

A Look Back

Please, don't be discouraged. I have returned. The Grants had a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving with my uncle Leroy, cousin Marie and her son Marcus. Ben and I cooked a big dinner and it was thrilling if I do say so myself. It is now a hectic month of work and I am trying to complete everything by the 22nd since my in-laws are coming on the 23rd for Christmas which we are super excited about. Cheri and David, my in-laws, were here last year for New Years. This trip also fell on David's fiftieth birthday. We always have a good time when we are together so if last year is any indication of how this year's trip will go, we will be having a good time. Here is last year, in pictures (and video). Ben and I got a pair of Leroy's old dentures and put them in a cup. We also borrowed a walker from Leroy. We had to make fun of David, I mean he was officially an old man. I think it's funny Leroy had all of these "old person" items sitting around his house. He even said he had a wheelchair if we needed one. Here is a video of David celebrating his birthday, old man style. Watch until the end. Classic Eleanor...


After one too many glasses of wine, Cheri decided to put balloons on her head.

After one too many glasses of wine, the rest of us said "Why Cheri, that does indeed look like fun."




We ate a really nice restaurant in Atlanta to celebrate the big 5-0 called Rathbuns.


For New Years, our friends Tucker and Erika decided to join in on the fun. They think we are Texas freaks. They think anyone from Texas is a Texas freak and I tend to agree with them so I made some Texas inspired cookies for the Mostellers to enjoy.


I decided we needed a picture of everyone before the ball dropped. I put the camera on the mantle and told everyone to get in the picture.

"Cheri, put down the bottle and get in position." (Classic Cheri-bottom left of pic!)

"Why isn't this working? Let me move the camera over so everyone is in the picture this time." "Hey, what happened to David?? At least Eleanor made it in this time."

Oops.

It's a Grant/Mosteller kind of New Year!


I cut my hair off. About 6 inches. It's been YEARS since I had short hair. Thoughts?


Oh yeah, and Penelope tried to pickpocket my cousin over the holidays.

She was exhausted after her crime spree so she decided to relax by the fire.

Longest Post EVER. Give it a Chance. You'll Like It.

I have had blog block. I have strained my brain to come up with something to talk about and there is just nothing there. My head is a big ball, sitting on my neck, and there is just not much going on up there. Wait. Did I just insult myself?

One of my clients, James, is in the hospital on a breathing tube and is not doing well. He is known to steal food and then cram it in his mouth and then swallow without actually chewing. This is actually a common problem amongst people with disabilties. I am not sure why but you have to really watch them and lock up the food at their homes. Anyway, James somehow stole a peanut butter sandwich in the cafeteria at the workshop he works at, went into the bathroom and ate it without swallowing. He came out of the bathroom, gagging and coughing and then collapsed. He has not breathed on his own since then. I am a social worker and this is a business where you obviously work closely with people who are in need in one way or another. I love my profession. I truly love working with indiviual's who are developmentally disabled but it does come with a price. One, is that you get attached to the people you work with. You become meshed in their lives and they depend on you to ensure they are safe and taken care of. I see my clients more then I see my own family and I am in their business more then I am my own friends. They depend on me more then anyone else does in my current world. It's difficult to see one hooked up to a breathing machine, dying. But saying that, the other price you pay working so closely to people in need is that you start to feel nothing. I worked for Child Protective Services for almost 3 years and still, when people say to me "I don't know how you could work there. I would want to bring all the children home with me" I think "Not me!!" Sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect to an infant child has no emotional effect on me. Zero. And even as hard as it is to SEE James in the hospital, I don't really FEEL anything. At CPS, we would always say "We laugh so we don't cry." We would laugh about the most grim details of an abuse case. Even yesterday I was cracking jokes about James needing full physical support on a support scale we do for our clients (it determines how much money they receive) and how staff would tell me he really is no problem to them what-so-ever (you know, since he is lying in a hospital room in a coma) Get it? I think if we were to actually feel something when dealing with these types of issues we wouldn't last long in the business. Anyway, that is my "deep thought" for the day.
My long time friend, Jacy, sent me an email where you have to list things about yourself. I decided to put the list here.
1. What time did you get up this morning
8:00 a.m.
2. Diamonds or pearls?
diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Body of Lies. Helloooo, Leo DiCaprio. Could you be any sexier?

4. What is your favorite TV show?
The Office. and of course, Golden Girls.

5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Cracklin Oat Bran and a cup of coffee

6. What is your middle name?
Leanne. I think according to the state of Georgia my middle name is actually Watts!

7. What food do you dislike?
Liver. My mom used to make liver and sweet potatoes every day (at least that's how I remember it). I also HATE viatnamese food much to my father-in-law's dismay.

8. What is your favorite CD at moment?
John Mayer-Where the Light is...Live in L.A.

9. What kind of car do you drive?
Chevy Blazer. When we move and Ben has a job I want to get a Nissan Murano.

10. Favorite sandwich?
Peanut Butter and Tupelo Honey

11. What characteristic do you despise?
People who are judgemental of people who are different then them.

12. Favorite item of clothing?
Jeans. I would wear jeans everyday if I could. Except when I gain weight and they get tight. Then they really suck.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would
you go?
Greece. Umm, hello nude beaches anyone? Yeah, me neither.

14. Favorite brand of clothing?
J.Crew all the way

15. Where would you retire to?
Florida. The Villages retirement place. That is where Ben will be so I will be there with him! Golf course, ceramics, bingo, water aerobics...

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
My 29th I guess. It was a sad one because I am very close (too close) to having to say "I am thirty(fill in the blank with a number). Yeah, I'm one of those people.

17. Favorite sport to watch?
Easy one. Anyone who reads this blog knows this. MEN'S SWIMMING!!!

20. When is your birthday?
August 2, 1979

21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Kind of both. I have been making an effort to get up early but I don't go to bed until after midnight. I could sleep in or get up early. I could go to bed early or late. Basically, I am both and that makes me perfect.

22. What is your shoe size?
It used to be 10 but lately it's been 9 1/2. Am I shrinking?

23. Pets?
Chihuahua-Eleanor, 6-toed cat-Fitzgerald, Cat from the Hood-Penelope

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
I haven't pooped in three days...YEAH!!!!

25. What did you want to be when you were little?
Honestly, at one time I said I wanted to be a maid. I dreamed big back then...

26. How are you today?
I am excellent. And yourself?

27. What is your favorite candy?
Heath bar

28. What is your favorite flower?
Pansies in my flower beds. Tulips in vases

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Christmas!! I freakin LOVE Christmas!! And my in laws are coming for a week over Christmas so that makes it even better.

30. What is your full name?
Holly Leanne Watts Grant

31. What are you listening to right now?
The rain

32. What was the last thing you ate?
salad for dinner last night.

33. Do you wish on stars?
Not since I was 15.

34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Black. I would be very slimming and would go with anything.

35. How is the weather right now?
Awesome. It's raining and I love the rain.

36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?
No one yet but give it some time. My phone rings all day during the week because of work.

37. Favorite soft drink?
Coke but I drink Diet Coke.

38. Favorite restaurant?
Quiznos. I'm a high class girl.

39. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Barbies.

40. Summer or winter?
Summer. I want it to be cold around the holidays though.

41. Hugs or kisses?
This question is sooo cheesy. Hugs from clients and anyone who is not my husband or my nieces and nephews. Kisses from Ben or said nieces or nephews (no tongue from the kids thank you very much). Neither from strangers, creepy men or over anxious lesbians.

42. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate

43. Coffee or tea?
Coffee

45. When was the last time you cried?
This question weirds me out because everytime I see one of these things people always put "today" or "last night." Why are people crying so much??? I don't even know the last time I cried. Probably one year ago when my grandmother died.

46. What is under your bed?
Nothing. Maybe a lost cat toy.

47. What did you do last night?
Watched My Name is Earl, Kath and Kim, The Office, 30 Rock and Celebrity Rehab. Thursdays are a t.v. night and no one better interupt.

48. What are you afraid of?
Being sterile. Ben being sterile. Being murdered. I watch a lot of cold case files and American Justice. It gets my imagination working in overtime.

49. Salty or sweet?
Sweet. Give me dessert over anything.

51. Favorite sound?
Opening theme song to Golden Girls "Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again..."

52. Favorite day of the week?
Friday at about 6:00 p.m.

53. How many towns have you lived in?
5, I think.

54. Do you make friends easily?
Yes but I can be picky. I mean, I do have a 6 month waiting list so I have to weed out the weak and un-funny. Seriously though, I love people and being social but sometimes people get on my nerves. If someone doesn't have a sense of humor, I just don't have time to sit around being bored with you. Is that mean? Don't hate. Like you aren't thinking the same thing about your friends choice.

A Few Stories on Life (or Sexdrive, Waffle House and that Biyotch D. Brown)

Life has been extremely busy lately. Our house is officially on the market as of Friday. We hate having to attempt a sell in this market but we have no choice. We are putting the house on the market in November to, hopefully, have it sold by May. SAD! You can see pictures of the house at goldenkeyrealty.net, click on "Our Agents" and then click on "Janice Stefanski." Scroll down the page to her listings and click on "108 Cello Lane."
I went to Mentone Alabama to meet my mother and her friends who were staying in a cabin for the week. We had a great time relaxing and enjoying the beautiful fall weather. Mentone is a gorgeous town and it was great to see my mom.
Here are some funny (at least to Ben and me) things that have happened over the last couple of weeks. If these stories don't translate well, sorry in advance.

Ben and I were at the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie "Body of Lies" with our friends Tucker and Erika. There were three older couples, in their mid-60's, sitting a few rows in front of us and to the left. The movie had not started yet and everyone was sitting around talking. One of the older gentlemen walk into the theater and sits down with this group. He has a bag of popcorn in his hands and he turns around and says to the group, "I walked into the wrong theater. I was sitting there watching some movie called Sexdrive." This is funny to me for three obvious reasons. One, could an old man not accidently walk into a more perfect/funny name for a movie!? Two, how do you sit in a movie like Sexdrive and not realize you are not watching a gritty terrorist movie like Body of Lies? And three, did he not notice the fact that he didn't know anyone else in the theater even though, when he walked out of Body of Lies, he was sitting with 5 other people he obviously knew? I picture him walking into Sexdrive, not see his group and thinking "screw 'em, I've got the popcorn and I'm gonna sit right here."

Ben and I were eating brunch at the Waffle House which, as white trash as this may be, we really love the Waffle House. Our waitress's teeth were so dirty and infected with disease, Ben could barely get his hash browns down. The funny part is that these two wiggers walked in, sat at the counter and as they looked over the menu one says to the other "I ain't gonna eat. I'm just here to get my draaank on."

Ben and I were going through the drive through at Taco Bell. The worker comes on the speaker and says "Hello, welcome to Taco Bell. Are you ready to order?" Ben says "Hold on just a second." The worker says "Sure. Just say 'Taco' when you are ready." We look at each other and I say "Did he just say "say Taco" when you are ready?" We laugh and I tell Ben he has to say it and Ben agrees. When we are ready, Ben says "Taco!" We then get to the window, he gives us our order (which was right for the first time ever at that place) and when the transaction ended he says "Have a taco of a night!" Which we responded "Thanks, we will!" And we did.

When I was a kid and I would see a dirty car, the cool thing to write on the back window is "Wash Me." Right? Well, times have apparently changed. Ben and I were driving down the road and we look over at a dirty car and some kid has written on the dirty back window "D. Brown is da man, biyotch." Times, they are a changin...

The Mis-Adventures of Penelope Grant

Greetings! It's been awhile since I last posted so I thought I would greet you with a beautiful beach, my cute little toe-headed nephew and me of course!

Can I just say how disappointed and hurt I am that my previous post only received two comments. That is an all time record low for "Macon Fun of the Grants." I have always prided myself with having the most loyal readers but I feel you have all failed me, except for Sam and I guess Taylor even though his post was somewhat rude and condescending. The rest of you can suck it.

So, I was sitting here trying to think of something to write about and decided to google "good blog topics." Up came websites that list "interesting" topics for your blogs. Maybe the problem is that I'm not interesting therefore these topics bored the crap out me so I will just let you be the judge.
Here are a few samples of some "interesting" blog topics:
1. Ask your loyal readers to email you links to their best resources and make a post about what you found.

My "loyal readers" have serious issues with commenting so this would never work for me...

2. Make a post that involves New York City, London, San Francisco or Sydney

Huhh....???

3. Create a post that utilizes a bar chart or pie chart.

Ok, seriously. Huhh...????

4. Create a post that incorporates the words, “desperate” and “futile”.

Hmmm, I think I could do that.

5. Make a post turning a negative into a positive through humor ( e.g., tell a joke: “My parents tell me I’m autistic. I tell them they have an attitude problem.”).

My personal favorite, however, I don't think I could ever be as funny as this zainy one liner!

Ok... what now. Oh! Here is the latest update featuring our favorite little kitty, Penelope. To catch you up or just remind you, Penelope has torn up our carpet to the point that we have had to put packaging tape under all the doors and on the seams where the carpet meets the tile. She has diarrhea-ed all over our floors and walls for 5 days straight. Nurses on our faces at night. Spilled water all over my new keyboard and broke it. Well, I have something else to add to this list.
Exhibit A:

I woke up and walked into the living room without my glasses or contacts on so I wasn't quite sure what I was looking at (I'm seriously blind without some sort of corrective lenses) but I thought it must be shredded carpet. All I could see were spots on the carpet and tile. I screamed out of fear of the bald spot in the carpet I knew I was about to see...


I then kneel down a good 2 inches from the carpet so I could get a good look and feel very confused as to what I was seeing. "Are those...feathers?" I ask aloud. I then look up and see a black spot on the tile, under the oven. I run back to my bedroom to get my glasses and run back out to the kitchen and I scream!! It's a freakin half eaten bird lying on my newly mopped kitchen floor. I stand there wondering what I am supposed to do??! I call Ben but he is in class and doesn't answer. I then call my mom and yell in the phone that I have a dead bird who obviously had a struggle in my living room and kitchen considering her feathers were everywhere! My mom told me to pick up the bird and put it in a sack. I asked "How am I supposed to get the bird in the sack?" Mom says "You pick it up by the foot and put in the sack. What kind of question is that, how do I put it in the sack?" She then asked "Who do you think did this?" Oh, I don't THINK I know who did this. I KNOW who did this. Fitz has never, in the 7 years as my child, killed any living creature. True, he is 17 pounds on a good day and I think Ben could probably out run him in a contest but I still don't think he would ever lower himself to eat something dead. I will say, as I was cleaning up Penelope's trophy I saw a glimmer of respect from Fitz towards Penelope. He seemed almost proud of her and even allowed her on the counter near his food without hissing even once. In all honesty, I was kind of disappointed in his attitude but that's another story. I just thought I raised him better then that... Oh, and I didn't touch that nasty bird. I got a piece of paper and swept into the Kroger sack. Penelope then jumped in the sack with the bird as it was lying on the floor as I swept up the feathers. She is so ghetto it's not even funny.

The proud older brother. He even let her sleep with him in his chair.

Tired after her kill. It's hard to be a gangsta...


One more thing. I don't think this could be re-created if you tried 100 times. This is a fly that was killed by the closet door being shut. So weird.

Eyepatch and Saggy Boobs in a Holly Bush...

I have a client who is a 13 year old boy. He is autisic, blind and ADHD. He attends The Georgia Blind Academy which is a really great school for the blind. Anyway, since my client is developmentally disabled, he is way behind on learning how to walk with a cane so he uses a pre-cane. The pre-cane has two wheels and a handle so they can push it and it will hit say, a wall (or a bush in this case), before they do. I was walking with my client and his teacher one day last week and we were talking and watching him walk with his pre-cane. I see him veer to the left where a row of big bushes line the building. I begin to get a little nervous when I look at the bushes he is about to fall into and all I see are the unmistakeable pokey spikes of the holly bush. Now, I have thrown my sister, Heather, into a holly bush and 8 years later she retaliated and threw me into one so trust me when I say, you don't want to end up face down in one these suckers. The teacher reaches out and puts him back on the path and away from the bushes before he can actually fall into them but I think this begs the question: Who, when designing the landscaping for a school full of BLIND kids who, by the way are LEARNING how to get around their environment, would think "holly bushes!? Why yes, of course!! Who can resist their bright red berries and green leaves." Blind academy, people...School for the BLIND.

In my previous post, I wrote about my experience with the cupid shuffle. I think I actually referred to it as the cubic slide but, whatever. Unfortunately, I did not get video of Ben and myself doing this dance but I found a couple of videos that will give you the same effect. What you need to do is picture the first video (MSU Greek Show) and then add the Granny doing the "One Eyed Shuffle" into the MSU group and, bwa-la, you have our Friday night a week ago! The first one represents everyone at the party except for Ben and me. And yes, they really were as good as the people in the video. The second, well, that's me. Eyepatch and saggy boobs included...

Now Dip Baby Dip

UPDATE: Penelope pooped in the kitchen sink. She also pooped in our jacuzzi tub. I guess the bright side is that she isn't having diarrhea anymore.

Ben and I went to Wal-Mart today to buy soap and deo for our B.O. As we were walking to our car in the parking lot, Ben noticed an old convertible with the top down and a car seat in the back seat. It was a car seat for an older child and was facing forward. Ben says: "Ooohhh, that's safe. The poor kid probably has bugs in his teeth, a sunburn and a whacked out neck from being driven in high winds!" I died. Literally. I could not keep it together.

Last night, Ben and I went to a birthday party for our trainer, Shon. This training that we are a part of is basically 95% black people and 5% white people. I say this because it's important later on. So we go to the party and we are all standing around talking. No one wants to eat because we all work out together and our trainer is there so everyone is trying to be good. Ben and I, along with two other girls are the only white people there which is really no big deal until...the dreaded dance music starts and it was at this moment I felt utter panic and absolute disbelief that I might actually have to get out there and dance with a bunch of black people who are notoriously excellent dancers. I say dance music but I actually mean line dance music. Now, being from Texas, line dancing to me means Electic Slide, Alabama Struttin and the All Around Shuffle but this kind of line dancing is a little different. As you can probably guess, you need 1. rhythm and 2. a little sass. I don't really have either but this, unfortunately, has never really stopped me. **Cut to the John Peter Smith Hospital Annual Christmas party where my brother Paul and I were the only ones on the dance floor and we were doing the Cabbage Patch, The Hammer and the Dip or the butterfly. Whatever it's called.(It goes "Now dip baby dip!").** Back to the present birthday party. I try to think of a reason why we have to leave. A movie!! Yeah, that's it. I'll say we have to leave to catch a movie. But what movie? What's out? Crap, I'v got nothing! I quickly say to Ben "What's a movie that's out right now? Ben: "Umm, Nights in Rodanthe?" I consider this for a couple of seconds but then decide that is too over the top, even for me, so I drop the movie idea. Shon then says everyone has to at least do the first line dance called the Cubic Slide and Ben and I get called by name to join in. Ben and I get out there and give it our best. But then, everything becomes slow motion. I can read their minds and I know they are thinking "Wow, white people really CAN'T dance." I feel like I am letting my fellow Caucasions down as I shake my butt a little too hard, give a couple good snaps of my fingers and kick my leg in the air a split second behind everyone else. The music stopped and I was brought back to reality. And it was then that I realized I just line danced with all black people who are REALLY good dancers. What was I thinking? And if that wasn't painful enough, I did it again later that night...

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride and Other Stories about Diarrhea and Stuff...

So, you know the saying "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride"? Well, I think it would be safe to say after 4 nephews and 2 nieces "Always the aunt, never the mother". I don't say this out of jealousy of mothers or even out of pure desire for my own children, I say this simply for the fact that it's true. My brother and sister each have three children and I have 2 cats and 1 dog which count for something in my mind. Ben and I are just not ready for children at this time and I have a serious issue when it comes to kids. Ok, I know this is going to sound crazy but bear with me and then put yourself in my shoes. When I worked for Child Protective Services, I became (and still am) hyper-sensitive when it came to being around children. My life was consumed, due to my work, with kids making allegations (true and untrue) so I became very aware of not being alone with kids and making sure others were around when I changed a diaper or helped a nephew go to the bathroom. I never thought my nephews would ever say anything that was not true about me but when you deal with that type of thing all day every day you start to get paranoid. Now that I work with individuals with mental disabilities I have serious concerns about having a child with a disability. I mean, scared to the point I sometimes think having children is not even worth the risk. I know, I know what you are going to say; "Put this in God's hands" and I do. Really, I do. I know that He will do what is best for me and my family and that He has a purpose for everything but when you see the issues and all that goes into caring for someone with disabilities, it gets you thinking. I sound obsessive now but really I'm not. I just think about things and try to put myself in the position of others and I don't want a kid with a disability. That's what this rant is really all about. I don't want a kid with a disability... or one that will make false accusations about me. There. I said it. You all now know how crazy I really am and you know what, I can deal with that...Isn't that what a blog is really intended for? To put out there all your crazy thoughts and paranoias about life in general for all to see? No? Well, I already typed too much to delete so I guess I'll just leave it.

On to better topics. That cute little boy posted above is my new 2 day old nephew. William Gray Tidmore was born on September 17, 2008 to my sister Heather and my brother-in-law Taylor. I wish I could be there to welcome the little nugget but alas, I am 16 hours away and can only enjoy him through pictures. Welcome to the world Will and don't get too big until your favorite aunt and uncle see you!

Ben and I are right in the middle of boot camp. It feels good limping around the house due to getting my butt worked out to the point of pure exhaustion. We will be running the 5K Susan G. Komen race for the cure in October with our trainer. Cancer research of any kind is very close to my heart since my mother is an ovarian cancer survivor. Seeing her go through cancer treatment was a real life nightmare, one that turned my life upside down. Even though this is a run for breast cancer, I will be running for her. I just hope I don't come in last in the race by crawling across the finish line, or by getting piggy backed by some 60 year-old breast cancer survivor.


From Saturday to Wednesday, that's right, for 5 days straight Penelope has been diarrhea-ing (that's a mouthful) ALL OVER our house. The diarrhea is apparently jumping out and scaring her since she feels the need to run from it. And when I say run, I mean run from room to room to room... Literally. Penelope, while diarrhea-ing (seriously, a mouthful) runs through the house getting poop on the walls and carpet. She got poop on my nice dresser and the new runner my mother brought me back from St. Thomas a few weeks ago. We went through 2 1/2 bottles of Spot Shot trying to clean the carpet. I stepped in it a good 4 times and scrubbed the same wall about 3 times. One time I caught her running through the office where we were sitting and was able to grab her and hold her while she went all over the board under my desk. We then had to throw away our nice rug that was under our kitchen table because the diarrhea had seaped into the fabric and the little holes in the rug. She would go 2 to 3 times a day and even ran inside from the outside in order to diarrea on our carpet and walls. She went to the vet and he said this is actually pretty normal in kittens and gave her medication and food that is easy on the intestines and luckily for us (and her) she is no longer having diarrhea. I haven't had to clean the litter box in a couple of days and wondered if she was now constipated. Ben solved this mystery when he told me this morning that Penelope is indeed pooping because he just found a steaming pile of it in the corner by the kitchen...She's such a good addition to our family (seriously though, we do love her).

Penelope and Fitz playing on the bed. Penelope is about to get body slammed by Fitz and she totally deserves it. Penelope watching Eleanor eating dinner (that's the now defunct rug in the corner of the picture) Penelope sleeping. We have had to cover our nice leather chair because she has poked little holes in it. Do you see the Strawberry Shortcake sheets!?

6 Rando's About Me

Sam has tagged, nay, dared me to post 6 rando facts about me. I thought long and hard and had to narrow down my quirks for a short list of 6 but I think I finally came up with some good random things about me, Holly Leanne Watts-Grant...

And now, in no particular order:
1. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I moved from Abilene to Ft. Worth and told my parents I would never move back. I also told them I would never marry a guy from ACU and I would NEVER marry a Gamma Sig (my brother and brother in law are both Gamma Sigs and I knew many of these guys and thought they were all so dull and conservative). As you have read in previous posts I loved long haired hippies who worked in vintage clothing stores and who said things like, "I attended 15 different high schools in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area because I was kicked out of all of them for smoking pot, fighting and just generally being a douche bag so when I say I graduated from Dallas Christian I mean I really only graduated from there and attended maybe 2 weeks total." Ahhh, the memories...Ok, where was I? So, I made all of these statements about how I "would never" and now I am married to an ACU graduate who was also a Gamma Sig. Not just a Gamma Sig, but an OFFICER in Gamma Sig (BTW, I was wrong about Gamma Sigs, they are actually good guys). Oh yeah, and Ben just accepted an offer to join a law firm in Abilene after he graduates so we will be moving back to Abilene this summer and I am actually excited about this fact! I guess the random fact is that I ate my words in a major way...



2. I can't swallow a pill if my life depended on it. Now, I am very healthy and don't take any pills except for Zyrtec (Taylor, I swear I take it every night regardless of what Ben tells you) so I don't really run into this problem but I started taking vitamns and they are these HUGE horse pills! I literally went through TWO water bottles trying to swallow ONE pill and never actually got it swallowed. Ben thinks I am crazy as he sits next to me and swallows 10 pills at once with no problem. I have always said I have a weird throat and I think this is just proof of my claim. Random fact #2: I can't swallow pills due to my weird throat.



3. I freakin love Quizno's Sonoma Turkey Sammies. I would eat them every day if I weren't so embarrassed about the number of times I frequent the place anyway. I have actually tried to go incognito by wearing my sunglasses while ordering. It didn't work, they knew it was me. One time, I ordered two Sonoma Turkey Sammies with a side of a Sonoma Turkey Sammie.


4. Ben and I do not have human children so one would think I got a full nights rest and woke up refreshed and excited to start the day dedicated to my wants and needs only. The truth is that I have not gotten a full nights rest in, ooohh, 3 years I would say. Eleanor is 3 years old if you are wondering where I got that number. Eleanor can and does hold her bladder for up to 7 or 8 hours sometimes due to Ben and myself being away from the house yet, when it's the middle of the night, she HAS to go to the bathroom after just going 4 hours earlier. Also, she will only go outside if we turn the porch light on which, of course, wakes me up even more. Eleanor sleeps next to me in bed so I am the one who feels when she gets up. I will hand her to Ben sometimes to take but most of the time I figure I am already awake so I might as well take her. Now we have the new kitty Penelope who wakes me up every night at about 4:00 a.m. by trying to nurse on my face. Random fact #3: My animal childen are out of control and I hope this isn't a testament to my future human children.



5.When I was kid, I loved old sit-coms. Actually, I still do. One of my favorite shows was Dennis the Menace. I thought the mother was so pretty and I noticed one day in the credits that her real name was Gloria. I then loved this name and said I was going to name my children Gloria, Madonna and Maxine. Not sure where Maxine came from but I loved it all the same. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is one of the many reasons children should not be having children. If I had gotten pregnant and had a kid when I was 8 years old, the poor kid would of had to live with the name Madonna Watts, Gloria Watts or Maxine Watts. Wow... (I'll go ahead and apologize now to any Gloria's, Madonna's or Maxine's who may have been offended by this random fact).


6. And finally my 6th rando fact. I love these cookies called Murray's. They are sugar free and are made with Splenda. I refer to these cookie as my golden nugget because they were such a good find since I stay away from sugar as much as possible. Ben thinks they are nasty but I told him he just doesn't know how to eat them. It takes me approximately 8 bites to finish a cookie the size of an Oreo and I'm telling you, the taste is different then if you were to put the whole cookie in your mouth. The cookie is like an Oreo in that it has the two crackers with the cream in the middle. First, I bite the bottom cracker on the top and then on the side. I then bite the top cracker to match the bottom (4 bites). I then bite the other side on the bottom and then the side on the top (2 bites). And finally, I take one bite of the whole cookie and then finish off the cookie with one final bite (8 bites total). I also do the same thing with Fat Free Cheez-Its. Try it, I swear it changes the taste of the food and makes an already good snack that much better!



Ok, do I dare tag anyone? Will you hate me for tagging you? Sorry, got to do it and you better post about this topic. I personally like being tagged because I don't have to think of a topic so get over it if you don't like being tagged for this stuff: Taylor, Heather W. and Meredith, do it or die.

The Most Random Post in the Entire World

I couldn't think of anything to post so I will just post some random thoughts.

1. I have seen one chick flick since Ben returned and it's Definitely/Maybe. I think definitely maybe this movie kind of sucked.

2. There are some beauty shops in Macon and Warner Robins Georgia that have some very interesting names. Which one do you like the best?
Shhhh....It's a Wig
Bobbin' and Weavin
Ain't Nuthin but a Hair Thang

3. Ben and I went to the grocery store on Monday in my Blazer. The back of the car has the rear hatch that swings up and down when you open and close it. I thought Ben was out of the way so I put most of my weight into closing the door when all of a sudden I hear "BONG." I look over and see Ben, with his hands full of groceries, ducked backwards and almost fell from the impact. I had pulled the rear hatch down and the edge caught him right on the head. Ben has this thing with being hit in the head and he thinks that is the most embarrassing thing that could happen to anyone. I was like "Are you ok!!???? Oh my gosh!!!??" And all Ben could say was "Be quite and go in the house!" It hurt him but he wasn't mad and said it really wasn't that bad. I felt terrible but for some reason I couldn't stop laughing!! I really didn't think the act of hitting him in the head was funny, I really felt terrible but for some reason I couldn't stop giggling. I think it has something to do with my sick sense of humor when someone falls. Hurt=Funny...

4. If you click on the right side of the blog on Taylor and Heather, you will find Taylor's latest post about how his patients think he isn't old enough to be a doctor and how he has dealt with this his entire adult life (braces in college weren't helping the situation but that's a different story). Loyal reader Heather S. and my loyal reader/sister Heather T. have provided a picture that proves Taylor hasn't always looked young his adult life.

Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up....

So, I was inspired by loyal reader, Heather W., and her blog to write about my favorite "falling" stories. Is it just me or is the act of falling not the funniest thing ever to be seen?? I love when people fall and can't help but laugh out loud when this happens. I also love to hear others stories about them falling because the mental image is just too much! I think it's always embarrassing to fall. There are a lot of things that might embarass one person and not another but, no matter who you are, falling is always humiliating. So, enjoy at my expense. Believe me, if you ever fall in my presense I will be laughing at your expense so I think it's only fair.

1. I was a freshman at ACU and was running around the school with my friend Lauren one night. There was an intramural football game going on and we were running up Campus Court right by the fields. We were both turning our necks to the left, watching the game and seeing who we knew while we were talking. All of a sudden, I trip over Lauren's feet, start to fall but then move my feet real quick to try and regain my composure while my torso is practically parallel to the ground and right when I think I have it all together I fall flat on my stomach. Of course, Lauren having a twisted sense of humor like myself, stood there laughing uncontrollably. I got up, laughing, pulled the dirt and rocks out of the wounds that were in my hands and knees and prayed no one at the football game saw me or, if they did, not recognize who I was. The next day in a class, this guy goes "Hey, didn't I see you fall last night?"

2. Fast forward 5 years. I was living in Ft Worth Texas in a second floor apartment. I was leaving for work one morning wearing black shoes and black pants. I get to about the third step from the bottom and the next thing I know I am falling down the stairs and land, once again, flat on my stomach. My bag and purse hit the ground and everything in them goes flying. I look up, praying no one just saw that and this guy walks by, gives me this look like he thinks I'm pretty much the most pathetic person he has ever seen and KEEPS WALKING!! No "Are you ok?" or "Let me help you up." or even better " Can I help you find your dignity anywhere?" NOTHING! My pants had a hole ripped in the knee and my black shoes were scuffed on the toes.

3. Fast forward 1 year. I was in Abilene visiting my parents and spending time with my best friend Amanda M. Amanda had just bought a new silver Honda Metropolitan (a scooter) with a huge silver helmet to match. I asked her if I could take it for a ride and she, of course, said yes. She showed me how to accelerate and brake and said it was really easy and I won't have any problems. So, I get to the end of the street and I am doing ok. I have to turn either left or right and I figure a right hand turn is probably my best bet. I decided I would turn REALLY wide so I wouldn't have to lean really far over. I get kind of nervous because, in order to turn, the bike has to lean. Ok, I guess I got more then "kind of nervous" at the lean because I held the handlebars so tight I accelerated on the turn, hit some gravel and flew over the scooter's handlebars. Again, on my stomach, I look around the make sure no one saw this. I had no idea how to start the scooter back up because when it fell it turned off. I was luckily wearing jeans and a t-shirt so my legs weren't that bad off but I had serious road rash all up and down both arms, rocks stuck in my hands, and my hip bones were bruised so badly I couldn't even touch them for weeks. I had to do the "walk of shame" back to Amanda's house, walking next to the bike wearing that huge silver helmet. Oh, and the scooter suffered some road rash of it's own. Amanda was a good sport about it though!

4. Fast forward 4 years. Ben and I had just gotten married and we were living in Dallas. One night, we went to a movie theater in the mall next to our apartment. As we were walking from the parking lot to the theater, I look over at the "Coming Attractions" they post to show what movies will be coming in the recent weeks/months. I say to Ben "Oh look, that Ashton Kutcher movie is com...." Before I can even finish my sentence, my foot has hit the curb. I stumble around trying to get straight again and, in trying to NOT land on my stomach AGAIN, I somehow flip onto my back. Ben goes "Oh my gosh, your just turtled!!"" I start laughing really hard and these two punk kids who were sitting on the curb a few feet away start laughing and one said through his laughter "Hey lady, are you ok???!!!" I don't know what upset me more, the fact that he was laughing at me or the fact that he called me "lady." As if it could get more embarrassing as we were waiting in line for our tickets, Ben looks over at me and says "ummm, you can totally see through your shirt." This movie was a last minute thing and we were just hanging around the house so I wasn't wearing a bra. I didn't think I should have to put one on since we were just going to a dark movie theater and it was late at night so it was dark outside also. I rememeber looking in the mirror before we left and I couldn't see anything through my white tank top...

Ok, that's all I can think of right now. Do any of you have some embarrassing "falling" stories? We would all love to hear about them so please share and post them in the comment section. It feels weird not posting any pictures. What the hell, here's one for good measure.

The Meat Market is back and Here to Stay...

I know all my loyal readers have been lost without a recent update of Macon Fun of the Grants. I have been absolutely OBSESSED with the Olympics and can hardly think about anything else. Loyal reader Sam has asked I update so she doesn't have to keep looking at this beautiful picture of Michael Phelps but I love it and had to post it again. As Heather W. says "Watch out swimmers, my schlong is long and my arms are strong!" I miss Ian Thorpe and wish he was still racing. He too is a beautiful speciman as you can see below.

Hello Handsome...

Come to mama...


By the way, Ben said he wants this blog's name changed so no one thinks he is associated with it. He said he doesn't want to be a part of my "meat market" anymore. I don't know what he is talking about...

Ben is back in Georgia from his summer long clerkship in Abilene. I am very glad to have him back home and things finally feel like they are back to normal. We have our new baby, Penelope, and she is really cute but a complete turd. She wakes us up every morning trying to nurse on our noses and mouths. She has tried to nurse on Fitz (yeah, he's a boy) which makes him angry. And no, she was not weaned too early from her mother. She is over 2 months old, she is just spoiled.



A trip to the vet wore her out.

Eleanor's a little jealous.


My birthday was on August 2nd and I had a good time celebrating with my family.

Anna and Mason help me with my birthday cake.

Taylor trying, and failing, at the hoola hoop

Finally, our whole family was together

Penelope sleeping in the car. We drove (fine, Ben drove, I slept) 16 hours to Georgia from Abilene in one day. Penelope did awesome!

Another nasty rash while driving from Texas to Georgia.


One story I will tell before I close. I was sitting in my living room singing Violet Hill by Coldplay and wrapping my mom's birthday gift. I stop and a second later I hear Ben, who's in the office, go "Aauugghh" like he just saw something that disgusted him. I said "What's wrong?" and he answered "Your singing." Later that day Ben says to me "You're being rude." and I answered "I'm rude?! You're the one who goes aauugghh when I was singing!!" Ben says "Well, it was disgusting!" Oh. well then. I guess it's ok since my innocent,angelesque singing made you want to throw up!

A side note. Ben and I like to give each other a hard time and I was not offended by him saying that, in fact, I thought it was hilarious. We always tell each other "like it is" and never a hard feeling.

Alright, that's all I have for now. I have to mentally and emotionally prepare for the Olympics. You know, I would never watch, say, women's water polo on a regular day but for some reason, when it's in the context of the Olympics I find it to be the most fascinating sport and I talk about it like I'm an expert from all my years as a player! Water polo, volleyball, synchronized diving you name it I love it during the Olympics but wouldn't give it a second thought any other time of year. Swimming and gymnastics I love no matter what time of year. Enjoy my man candy and until next time...